Wedding etiquette question..please help with this argument..

[tevagirl]

One of my girlfriends says that it's proper etiquette to invite the parents of each member of your wedding party to your wedding just because their DS or DD will be in the wedding. I say that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. For example...my DS is in the wedding of a co-worker of his and according to my friend we (my DH and I) should be invited even though we've never laid eyes on the bride or groom. Is it me??

 

[lucky978]

I think you should only be invited if you either know the bride or groom. Why would you want to go to a wedding, and bring a gift, to someone you've never met? I think that is crazy.

 

[DreamsComingTrue]

I never did in my wedding.Ive never heard of that before.Unless they have also be apart of your life and you want to have them there they invited them.Otherwise it's your wedding and feel free to invite who you like.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

This may be an older custom. I believe when I got married it was appropriate to invite the parents of the attendants. But of course these were often people that the bride and groom grew up with so all the families knew each other. Times have changed now and people are more spread out.

 

[poohandwendy]

Only if the attendants are children, then again they probably would be invited anyways.

 

[Laura]

That's not a custom I've ever heard of. If you're talking about the flower girl and ring bearer, obviously the bride must invite their parents/guardians, but other than that, no.

 

[marybet]

My son has been in several weddings for his friends and I wasn't invited and did not think I should have been.

 

[Disney Debbie]

I'd personally think it was rude. It would seem like "gift fishing" to me!

 

[Laurajean1014]

No, your friend is incorrect.

 

[twojo21]

we're in the middle of planning our dw & the only time i've read or heard of parents being invited is if a child is an attendant in the wedding ie a flower girl or ring bearer. otherwise there's no mention of it.

 

[LoraJ]

When I was a bridesmaid for the first time over a decade ago, my mom was kind of hurt that she wasn't invited. I guess maybe they used to do that sort of thing back in her day. I don't think she wanted to go to the reception, but just to the ceremony maybe to see me in action?

 

[Keli]

My dd will be in a friends wedding in two weeks and I was just a bit surprised (happily surprised) when dh and I received an invitation since we aren't close to her family. But I have known this young lady for several years and I'm looking forward to attending.

 

[Disneyrsh]

Tell your friend to get her own wedding!

I broke so many rules, but I did the wedding the way we wanted to (half the wedding consisted of bridesmaids and groomsmen-weddings are more fun in tuxes and evening gowns!) and it was a blast.

My grandmothers were extremely grumpy with me, but I wanted our wedding to reflect us, not some dusty book.

 

[Patsfan7]

Okay, so here is what it says in the dusty book :

"... Don't forget these guests:

The spouse, fiance, or live-in partner of each invited guest - even if you've never met (necessary)

The person who performs the ceremony and his or her spouse (necessary)

The parents of ring bearers and flower girls (necessary)

The parents of the bridesmaids (not necessary, but a nice gesture when feasible, especially when the bride knows them well)

Councelors, advisers, or mentors to the bride or groom who are not close friends but have been an important part of their lives (not absolutely necessary, but often meaningful)......"

This was taken from Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette Fourth Edition 2001

I had always heard the same as your friend. I didn't have a problem with inviting the attendants parents to my own wedding, as we were close, or they were family. It seems funny to me that in the book it does not include the grooms attendants in the list, just the bridesmaids parents.

 

[msteddom]

My parents have been invited to the weddings that I have been a part of, but that is because these are friends that I have grown up with, and they are close with my whole family. I will also be inviting their parents to my wedding if and when it happens whether or not I end up asking the friends to be in my wedding.

Melissa

 

[the kabuki]

I invited the parents of our attendants, but we knew or were related to all of them , but one of the bridesmaids' parents. Figured since I was inviting everyone else's parents, 2 more wasn't going to hurt.

 

[leighe]

I think it may be an older custom. My mom was kind of upset once that she and Daddy weren't invited to a wedding my brother was in. I invited the parents of all our attendants but we knew all of them. I think my parents have been invited to most weddings I've been in. I wouldn't think it would be a big deal though - especially if the parents don't even know the bride or groom.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

I dont think it is necessary to invite the parents of bridal party members unless the bride and groom know them well enough, and of course, want to. We invited the parents of all our attendents because we were related to them or knew them as well as the bridal party members. But I wouldn't have thought twice about not inviting the parents of a friend if I didnt know them. It depends on what the bride and groom want to do!

 

[froglady]

I only had 3 attendents, who were from my hometown/wedding city, so invited their parents. (Two had lost fathers, so we're only talking about 4 extra people) Plus, I had spent many overnights, etc at all of their homes while growing up.

My DH was from another state, so although his attendent's parents were invited, none attended.

I've been in weddings where my parents were invited, and some when they weren't. As stated, it depended upon how well the bride and groom knew the family.

 

[Beth76]

I've never heard of this. I think it's tacky to invite anyone that isn't known by the bride or groom.