Wedding Dress Expenses

[bekkiz]

Well, I chose a dress that was more then I expected to spend, however, it is the most wonderful thing I have ever put on. The silk it is made from is amazing, the cut is perfect and the beading is beautiful. It was the first dress I put on, and it's perfect (if I do say so myself ) It just came in, so I'm not sure about alterations/shoes etc. But the dress itself was ~1500

A friend, getting married in Aug, found her perfect dress and it was around 3000.

I also have a friend who found her's at David's Bridal for around ~800

We all love them, we all will look beautiful, and we are all happy with our choice in how to spend our money

 

[RUDisney]

It is certainly the woman's choice to decide how she wants to spend her money, but when I think of $3,000, I think of most of the appliances that are in my kitchen. I think of it going toward the downpayment of a first house. I think of things that will last and not something that will be preserved in a box that lives in the closet and exists forever in pictures.

The real problem that I have with my SIL, is that she gushed about Vera all day long. It's one thing to find "perfection" and another thing to think that only expensive things are perfect.

As others have noted, marriage is not a destination, it's a journey. To me, and others at the reception, it seemed that my SIL wanted the party and the planning. Some people wondered out loud how long they thought the couple's journey would last.

 

[snoopy]

Vera Wang dresses have a very distinct style - I would have loved to have worn one when I got married, but Vera Wang was probably a design student back then.

I bought my dress in NYC, and paid way more money than I really should have, but I loved the dress so much and it was very important to me to have exactly what I wanted.

And the day after I got home from my honeymoon, I put an ad in the paper, and sold it for a little less than what I paid for it. Loved the dress, but did not have sentimental attachments to it. Many people told me not to do that, if I had girls I would want to pass it along to them, yada, yada, yada. For one, I didn't want to wear my mother's dress, and secondly, I didn't have girls. I've never regretted selling it - I'm sure someone else loved it as much as I did, and I loved having some money back after the honeymoon.

 

[Steve H.]

I couldn't tell you what DW spent on her wedding dress -- it was one of those things I told her to go find whatever she's happiest with and buy it. And whatever she paid for it, it was worth every penny, at least to me.

 

[goofiesgirlies]

I actually rented my wedding dress (I can hear everyone gasping) and to this day I don't regret it one bit! I tried on several lovely gowns at bridal shops and was amazed when they told me all the alterations that would be needed and how much it would cost. My DH and I were basically footing the bill for our wedding.

Then I found someone that has a rental bridal gown shop out of her house and tried on some of her gowns - found one that fit perfectly no alterations necessary (it was new - no one else had worn it) rented it for $200 or less and off we went. It was beautiful and no one knew the difference. I also saved money so we could build a house.

But I agree - who cares where you got it, how much you paid for it, who designed it, etc. As long as the bride loves it! --And you don't owe a million dollars after the wedding.

--Jn

 

[caitycaity]

As others have noted, marriage is not a destination, it's a journey. To me, and others at the reception, it seemed that my SIL wanted the party and the planning. Some people wondered out loud how long they thought the couple's journey would last.

i've never understood this. isn't it possible for someone to want a great party AND a great marriage??? that is how i felt.

i got the same kinds of comments about how we were trying to be flashy and how our marriage wouldn't last when we got married at disney world. those who attended had a great time. those who didn't -- their loss.

yes, i think it is tacky to go around telling everyone your dress is designer. but i don't think a marriage is doomed to failure b/c someone did so or spent $$$$ on a wedding/wedding dress.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Some people wondered out loud how long they thought the couple's journey would last.

That's something I've heard at the last 2 weddings that I have attended. All I can say is that I'm grateful that nobody acted in such a manner at my wedding reception (or at least they were quiet enough that I and my parents didn't hear it.)

I honestly can't imagine spending so much time and money and so much of my parents savings, only to have the invited guests act like backstabbing jealous high school girls.

 

[Pin Wizard]

To me it's a waste to spend that money on a gown you wear 8 hours or less. But I'll never forget the story of one of the doc's on staff at the hospital I was at whose daughter had Vera Wang design something "just for her." She didn't like it when it was done and told her to redo it. Vera basically told her to take a hike. LOL! I don't know which "label" she ended up with. This from a doc's daughter who graduated from law school at Yale.

 

[Disney Doll]

My wedding ensemble was $400 out the door. I don't think that someone who wore a $2000 dress looked any nicer than I did, nor do I thnk their marriage is doomed because they spent money in a way that I wouldn't have. However, the OP's bride seemed to be behaving the most like a "high school girl" feeling the need to tell everyone what her dress cost, who designed it etc.

I can remember during the wedding planning stages being in the bridal store and watching grown women have absolute hissy fits because the seed pearls weren't arranged on the bodice of their dress in a particular manner, or some other insignificant matter. I have had friends who have spent hours and hours and thousands and thousands of dollars on their wedding planning, and I often want to ask them what their intention is for the 40 years AFTER the wedding day, since it doesn't seem as though they have thought that far in advance. There is a fine line between marrying for the right reasons and marrying because you want to be a bride wearing a beautiful dress and being the center of everyone's attention..."princess for a day" as one of my divorced-2-years-after-a hugely-extravagant-wedding friends refers to being a bride.

 

[helenabear]

I think that if the woman loves the dress, then it is all that matters to me. I do think it is tacky that someone flaunts the maker though. I was lucky though, my dad paid for my wedding and I didn't have to worry (within reason) what my dress costed. My dad got lucky when my aunt maid my dream dress for $200 (covered in hand embroidered fine tulle netting)

Where we 'blew' the money was on our honeymoon (paid by us)... I must say the money was worth the momories we had Some have the dress as their priority... ours was the honeymoon

 

[piratesmate]

That's something I've heard at the last 2 weddings that I have attended. All I can say is that I'm grateful that nobody acted in such a manner at my wedding reception (or at least they were quiet enough that I and my parents didn't hear it.)

I haven't been to weddings to hear this at the service or reception, but have heard it discussed in the store or at church, etc. I think it's just as tacky to discuss this within earshot of those involved as it is to boast about wearing a designer gown. I have to wonder, though, if some of this isn't being fueled by all the media attention. This topic has been discussed on GMA, Oprah & several other shows. (OK, I'm going by commercials for the shows. I don't actually watch them.)

DS & his fiance asked me if we'd regretted the money we spent on our wedding (her parents were resistent to spending much), not knowing how little we'd spent. Both DH & I said that while that day was the most important thing in our lives at the time, 29 years later I'm glad we didn't spend more. I'm also glad that we didn't argue more (& sorry we got upset at all) with our parents about what we wanted . . . 29 yrs later, what does it really matter??

 

[KJo719]

I spent $900, which includes all of my alterations, for my dress for my wedding. That was the high end of my price range and there was no way I was going to spend more than that for a dress I'm only going to wear for one day. I want to look beautiful, but I don't think you need to spend thousands of dollars to look beautiful! I'd rather spend that money on something else- like my Disney honeymoon! But like others have said, it depends on the person. For some the dress is most important.

 

[momsal]

I agree with you, why buy a label!!!

We lucked out on my DD's dress!!!
She knew what she wanted and we looked ALL over for it , We finally found it at believe it or not Fashion Bug!!!!

It was on a clearence rack and we paid $5.00 for it!!!!!!!!


I couldn't believe it!!!!

 

[jamsmom]

I rented my dress. But, if I could have paid mopre and ended up with a happy marriage, I would have

 

[Buckalew]

I feel for the RUDisney's BIL. If his wife was acting/bragging like that at the wedding, what must she be like in real life? Sounds like a lot of pressure to me--to have enough $ to keep her bragging...

 

[*Flower*]

My dress was about $50. It was off the rack, and happened to be the same one that I'd worn to my wedding shower.

Our plans had changed- DH was being shipped overseas, and we ended up going to the courthouse to be married by a judge. However, that being said- looking back I wouldn't have done it differently.

A real wedding dress would have been nice, but when I think of all of the money that didn't get spent...... and I'm still on the same marriage (surprisingly enough)......

 

[mum4jenn]

That IS so tacky to keep going around talking about who made the dress but it isn't any worse than folks always bragging about their expensive cars,pools etc.

My dress came out of the JCPenney catalog and we paid $135 for it and it was a perfect fit. I got more compliments on that dress!!!!No one could believe me when I told them where it came from.

 

[RUDisney]

Originally posted by caitycaity
i've never understood this. isn't it possible for someone to want a great party AND a great marriage??? that is how i felt.

i got the same kinds of comments about how we were trying to be flashy and how our marriage wouldn't last when we got married at disney world. those who attended had a great time. those who didn't -- their loss.

yes, i think it is tacky to go around telling everyone your dress is designer. but i don't think a marriage is doomed to failure b/c someone did so or spent $$$$ on a wedding/wedding dress.

Whoa! I didn't mean that. There's a HUGE difference in seeing past the great wedding to your marriage and only looking to the actual wedding... reception...

I can fill in alot of blanks about why I think this is true of my SIL. Before they got engaged, my BIL said that she started pressuring him to get married... NOT because she wanted to start their future together, but because all of her friends were getting engaged and she wanted to plan her wedding at the same time. She didn't even look him in the eyes when she was reciting her vows. She looked at the floor.

I just have a feeling that when the reality of marriage hits her, she's going to be on a real downer, because all of the planning and expectations are over. Life will take over and, let's face it, it isn't always a party.

I don't think that because their wedding was expensive and her gown was expensive weighs into the factor about whether their marriage will last. I think it's more about the attitudes that went into getting married instead of being married.

For us, the prize wasn't getting married, it was being married and getting to grow old together and raising kids together....

I hope I made my point better this time. It doesn't matter how you start your marriage, it's how you end up in the long run.

 

[caitycaity]

i agree rudisney.

 

[Deb in IA]

RUDisney, it sadly sounds like your new SIL is a very shallow, materialistic person. She seems to be only invested the wedding as a social event, and not as a celebration of a new life together. I hope things work out for her and your brother.

Now, about those Vera Wang dresses. Yes, they are extremely expensive, and have quite the reputation as the wedding gown that celebrities wear. But they are very beautiful and feminine, and like snoopy said, have a distinct look. They are widely acknowledged as the top of the line for wedding wear.

I personally think that if you have the money and have your heart set on a Vera creation, go for it. But if you are just wearing it to say your dress is a Vera Wang, well, that's another story.

By the way, our DD was in a very fancy wedding last year as a Junior Bridesmaid. She wore a Vera Wang. It was $250, which is about what I paid for my wedding gown almost 15 years ago . . .