Wedding dates - would you take this into consideration?

[Fishbone†]

Dfiance and I would like to choose February 17th, 2007 as our wedding date. I want a Valentine's wedding, so it's either that or the 10th. I just like the 17th better - for no reason really, than I like 17 better than 10. We've "announced" the date to relatively few people, and we haven't booked anything (although we will be doing that tomorrow when the hall is open again - they have the 17th available, I didn't ask about the 10th).

My brother races cars at the local raceway, but also does a bigger autocross at our Monster Truck Jam held every year at the Metrodome. He has won the race a couple of times, and always does fairly well. Of course, if it follows the typical schedule, this race falls on the 17th next year. He's really bummed - he's done this for years, and while he'll choose the wedding, he would LOVE if we would reconsider the date.

Both Dfiance and I like the 17th, partly because I think people with celebrate Valentine's on the weekend of the 10th, and partly because I just have February 17th, 2007 in my brain as my wedding date. He proposed on December 17th.... I don't know if that has anything to do with my preference. Anyway, it wouldn't be a hassel to change it (unless the hall was already booked for the 10th), and would only involve retelling the couple of people we've told.

Would you consider changing it, or just go with what you want??

 

[rigs32]

Your brother wants you to reschedule your wedding - a momentous occasion - for his hobby? No matter how involved he is, I think you should only reschedule if YOU want to. There is always going to be a conflict of some sort when it comes to choosing a wedding date.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Would you consider changing it, or just go with what you want??

You should pick what you want.

People will make the decision whether or not to be at your wedding...you can't please everyone.

"Those who WANT to be there will be there." --Quote from my DH when we decided on a Friday night wedding.

Congrats and best of luck.

 

[justhat]

For my brother, yeah, I'd consider moving it. In fact I am pretty sure that I would move it. I know what you mean about the dates, our wedding was June 5th and our other option was the 12th and I just liked the 5th better. Our church was booked for that date so we considered the 12th instead, but decided to find another church instead cause the date was important to us. For close family though, I'd move it if it really made a big difference to them. Congrats!

 

[lulugirl]

You should pick what you want.

People will make the decision whether or not to be at your wedding...you can't please everyone.

"Those who WANT to be there will be there." --Quote from my DH when we decided on a Friday night wedding.

Congrats and best of luck.

I agree.

 

[RadioNate]

unfortunately when planning weddings considerations have to be made. I think you need to look at how important the 17th is to you. From what it sounds like to me it holds no signifance other than you just like it better.

When picking a date we consulted with 'key' family members and then picked the one that suited everyone best. I had a time of year in mind but no special stake in the actual date.

I would consider changing it as long as the hall/church and other vendors you want are available on the 10th.

 

[mickeyboat]

For my brother, yeah, I'd consider moving it. In fact I am pretty sure that I would move it.

I agree. Also, I have this strange distaste of odd-numbered days, so the 10th just sounds better to me.

Denae

 

[Ziva]

I wouldn't schedule it the same day as my brothers race date if it was important to him, it's important to me. I'd definitely pick another date.

 

[bananiem]

I think you should pick the date that you want. How would you feel if you move it and then for whatever reason he isn't able to race that day?
My sister got married on a day that I would have preferred she didn't use, but you know what? It was HER day.
Besides, Feb.17, 2007 will be my Mom's 85th birthday!
Oh, and since I'm another Minn-snow-tan, are you SURE you want a winter wedding?

 

[4greatboys]

Go with the date that is important you and your DF.

 

[becker1123]

As someone who's celebrated nearly 12 anniversaries in the month of February (the 26th to be exact) I would advise against being so close to V-Day. After a few years, the novelty will wear off and you will find it increasingly difficult and expensive to plan an anniversary celebration. Around V-Day restaurants and hotels jack up the price and have "special" menus. We paid almost double for a weekend getaway on V-Day weekend a few years ago, but had to go then because that's when DMIL could watch the kids. (It's also around the President's Day holiday when more people are off, so that means even more "holiday pricing.")

That being said, if it's that important to you, you should do what you want. I sort of wish we had done March or April instead. Feb has turned out to be a major headache, but it's not the end of the world. After all, love can conquer all ... Best wishes whatever date you choose!

 

[Beth76]

If you really want a Valentines wedding, then I would do it on the 10th. If you do it on the 17th the holiday is already over and people are moving on to St. Patty's Day. That's just how I feel about it. If you really want the 17th though you should do it then. I might tell a little white lie and tell your brother that the hall you wanted was booked on the 10th.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

In the poll, I indicated the 10th, because, for me, for someone as close as my brother, I'd wouldn't want to make him miss the race.

But then I reread your post and you mentioned the race is the 17th "if it follows the typical schedule". (emphasis mine) So you're not necessarily certain it will be the 17th. If you change it to the 10th, and then the race ends up being the 10th or the 23rd, how will you feel? I know the possibility is somewhat unlikely, but it sounds like it could happen, right?

I'm not so sure I'd change the date if I weren't certain of the date of the race. It's a hard decision. Good luck with it.

(Some help I am, right?)

 

[Beth76]

As someone who's celebrated nearly 12 anniversaries in the month of February (the 26th to be exact) I would advise against being so close to V-Day.

Ha ha!! I was just thinking "hey my sister's anniversary is the 26th!" Then I looked at the poster. Becker1123 is my sister!

 

[debbiedoo]

go with the date that YOU really want -- it is YOUR day

 

[buddy&wooz]

Ask at the hall- chances are the 10th is booked, then the decision is made for you and your brother won't hold it against you.

If it's available- well, think about the sacrifice your brother said he'd make for you if he has to (not racing)- are you willing to make a simple sacrifice for him? I'd feel differently if you had a legit reason (other than what "feels right") for not changing it, but in this case- I'd change it.

I've seen sibling relationships fall apart over less.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

Ok, I'll dissent! Being that you like the 17th over the 10th "for no particular reason", I don't see why you don't just have it to the 10th. Granted it might be due to your brother's "hobby", but it's an annual race that he is very much a part of. I think it would be a nice gesture on your part. If the 17th had special significance for you it would be one thing, but since it really doesn't, I don't see how it takes away from your special day to move it up one weekend.

 

[Ziva]

If it's available- well, think about the sacrifice your brother said he'd make for you if he has to (not racing)- are you willing to make a simple sacrifice for him? I'd feel differently if you had a legit reason (other than what "feels right") for not changing it, but in this case- I'd change it.

I've seen sibling relationships fall apart over less.

Yes! When all is said and done what difference does the date make? Like 10 years from now the OP will be saying wow, I really wish we had the wedding on the 17th instead. It's just not worth hurting your brother over, I wouldn't even have to think about it because I'd be at the race cheering my brother on.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

There are several circumstances in which I would choose NOT to change the wedding date. If I didn't like my brother, I wouldn't change the date. If I were well into the planning stage, I wouldn't change the date. If his "other engagement" were something he could easily change, I wouldn't change the date. But if I liked my brother, was early in the planning stage, and my brother couldn't easily change his own plans; plans that he had been involved in for years and years at that same time every year, then yeah, absolutely I'd change it. But that is just me. This sounds like a pretty significant hobby for your brother. If you're getting married, get used to making small sacrifices for the people you love. This would be the first of many. I promise you, when your wedding day arrives, you won't really care much what the day is one way or the other. What will matter to you then is that all the people you love will be there.

I would definitely try to make my initial wedding plans around the convenience of my immediate family. I think your brother's plans are very big for him and something that obviously means a lot. I can't imagine making him miss it for a wedding that could just as easily be the week before or the week after. But that is just one opinion!

 

[Magickndm]

We have a few things in common. My brother also races so many times things have been moved around to accomodate him. I didn't have to do it for my wedding, but I would have.
I was married Feb 11th after much consulting with my then future in laws. They were coming in from MN. and this was the best time for them. We had it on a Thursday night.
Had nothing to do with Valentine's Day.
I've never noticed problems going out to eat to celebrate our anniversary or prices anywhere being higher. It's the opposite in fact, Feb. is a "cheap" month at Disney.
I think it would be nice to consider close family members when picking the date but in the end, choose what you want.
Good luck!