Wedding confusion

[RunDanceSkate]

Am I wrong to think this is weird. My brother (age 39) is getting married this summer.
SIL2B has asked a "best friend" that she has not seen in 5yrs to be her MOH because SIL2B was her MOH.

MOH has two daughters who were to be the flower girl and ring bearer.

My DD10 was asked to be a junior bridesmaid.

DS13 was asked to be an usher.

SIL2B brother was to be best man.

That didn't sound too bad. Except it left my 2 sisters and are out of the wedding, but we were okay with that.

MOH is still maid of honor.

turns out that the 2 daughter are much older and bigger then she thought. One is 11 but a size 18 and tall for her age. Other is 9 and size 14 and tall for her age, my DD10 is very small and short, she wears a size 6. Since it would look funny to have the flower girl and the ring bearer be taller then the Jr Bridesmaid SIL2B has decided that they will all be flower girls???

SIL2B want DS13 to be a ring bearer, he says no way.

SIL2B brothers wants to be the photographer so my youngest sister was asked to be best man, she is closest to my brother. She said yes but priest said No. Now my DH is the best man and sis is an usher. This is very weird to me because my DH and my brother do not like each other.

So the new wedding party is

MOH - best friend of bride
Best man - brother in law of groom (they have spent less than 3 hrs together in the entire 20yrs DH and I have been married)
Female usher
3 flower girls
and DS doing something

As for me, I've been told, not asked but told, that I "get" to make the wedding cake (4 tiers serves about 150 people) and the dresses for DD and 2 other flower girls, vest for DH and DS. Best part is SIL2B only wants 20 people at the wedding, anybody want some leftover cake?

Maybe I should be just thanking my lucky stars that I'm not in the wedding party. DD is hosting the bridal shower because MOH and her daughters can't afford to. So we are driving 10hrs each way to do that, DD made really cute invites.

After my mom offered to pay for the entire reception SIL2B decided that my brother could actually invite some of his Aunts, Uncles and cousins so I think we are up to about 40 invited guest. It has been 20 yrs since there was a wedding in my immediate family and I was really looking forward to it, but now I just think it is going to be awful. There has been alot of other things that make me go SIL2B wanted no invites just word of mouth, weird coloured wedding gown, things like that.

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

Whew! You need a vacation after this wedding. I like mixing up the traditional, but it sounds like you have a ton of work ahead of you.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

sounds complicated!

 

[Hannathy]

I didn't know the Priest could determine the Best Man especially concerning the sex. I know they can deny someone if they aren't a practicing Catholic I believe, but beyond that I didn't know that had that much say. And why is she picking the ushers and men in the party I thought that was up to the groom? It is good manners for him to include the brides family but I always thought HE got to pick his groomsmen.

 

[Pigeon]

Since there aren't any real invitations, is it OK if I just show up? It sounds like it's going to be hilarious, and after all, you'll have all that extra cake anyway.

 

[Tybug]

Sound like perfect candidates to elope!

 

[Beth76]

So your 10-year-old daughter is hosting the shower? Did I read that correctly? And you have to make the cake? And this is 10 hours away? This should be good.

 

[famofsix]

HMM
It would be cheaper and less hassle to not be in the wedding and just attend.
Of course that would make everyone mad at you including DD.
I would encourage them to elope

 

[Becky2005]

This certainly will be an interesting wedding and there will be cake coming out people's ears.

THAT one I know for a fact!!!!! It was done at my wedding. We were pawning off cake on anyone & everyone who would take some. Even with that I think my parents & us ended up eating wedding cake for a week.

We had about 100 -150 guests and ordered a cake for some ridiculious amount over. We knew it ahead of time though. We picked out the style then the baker told us we had to have it serve a min. of ? (I really think 250) for that exact style. I tried to get rid of the extra cakes. I told my mom I was fine with adjusting it because cake for 100 more people than you have INVITED much less you know not 100% is going to respond was a bit of insanity. She pulled the "no you want that type, we are getting it". She was paying for it, so *she* decided to go with what I originally wanted (although, honestly, I would have been OK cutting corners there). I had a fountain underneath and bridges to some smaller tiered cakes. The baker probably thought we were a bit insane too for going ahead with that order.

Good Luck with that.

 

[rie'smom]

Whew! You need a vacation after this wedding. I like mixing up the traditional, but it sounds like you have a ton of work ahead of you.

Cripes,I need a vacation just reading what the SIL2b is putting everyone through. I'd say thanks but no thanks to any involvement. Something this complicated is bound to get screwed up. A size 18 flower girl?????

 

[barkley]

those are two 'flower girl' dresses i would'nt want to think about making i think about how my daughter was prone to go through growth changes at the ages the other girls are, and i can't imagine trying to plan on what size/height they might be by summer.

i'm assuming if the bride has'nt seen the moh for 5 years she and the girls must live out of the area-if thats the case can you beg off on not doing their dresses? a size 18 can vary so much (and with an 11 year old it may be absolutly no bust and all carried in the stomach so the wrong pattern could come off looking like a maternity dress). i can't even imagine trying to pick out a flattering pattern that has to range from a girls 6 to a woman's 18.

 

[iloveboardwalk]

If ever a situation warranted the purchase of a quality high-def video camera, this is it. We at the DIS will require a full length video with narrative audio.

Why are some women so bat-poop crazy about their weddings?

 

[dreamcometrue]

I'm lost!

 

[iloveboardwalk]

I'm lost!

Basically, the OP's SIL2B is a bizarre, crazy control freak with delusions of some kind of grand wedding event into which she had roped the OP's entire immediate family. They will be taking part in a wedding ceremony that, I expect, will be a disaster in the way that weddings in all sit-coms are disasters.

Don't worry if you can't follow the story right now, just wait for the movie, it's going to be good.

 

[barkley]

Basically, the OP's SIL2B is a bizarre, crazy control freak with delusions of some kind of grand wedding event into which she had roped the OP's entire immediate family. They will be taking part in a wedding ceremony that, I expect, will be a disaster in the way that weddings in all sit-coms are disasters.

Don't worry if you can't follow the story right now, just wait for the movie, it's going to be good.

'you read the book, you saw the move-now live the experience of 'THE WEDDING THAT GOOD SENSE FORGOT''. 'you'll laugh, you'll cry-you'll kiss off hundreds on a wedding gift goodbye'. 'THE WEDDING THAT GOOD SENSE FORGOT'-coming soon to a church near you.

this wedding has been rated 'PG' (as in 'please god, let them change their mind and elope')

 

[iloveboardwalk]

'you read the book, you saw the move-now live the experience of 'THE WEDDING THAT GOOD SENSE FORGOT''. 'you'll laugh, you'll cry-you'll kiss off hundreds on a wedding gift goodbye'. 'THE WEDDING THAT GOOD SENSE FORGOT'-coming soon to a church near you.

this wedding has been rated 'PG' (as in 'please god, let them change their mind and elope')

Brilliant!!

 

[disneyfreakk]

WOW! Just WOW! How are you supposed to transport a 3 tiered cake 10 hours away? And how exactly are you supposed to fit dresses to girls you wont see until you are there? If it were me, I would tell her that you are flattered but (insert any excuse here).

The dresses.......... OMG. I am a big woman and let me tell you, NOTHING is flattering on a plus size. Even the plus size models in magazines and such are usually a size 8.


Maybe if your whole family starts hanging out in Day Cares and CDC quarantines during any free time you have, you can all get out of going.

 

[Martha7]

This sounds like a true case of Bridezilla! OP, you have my sympthies!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

As for me, I've been told, not asked but told, that I "get" to make the wedding cake (4 tiers serves about 150 people) and the dresses for DD and 2 other flower girls, vest for DH and DS. Best part is SIL2B only wants 20 people at the wedding, anybody want some leftover cake?

You "get" to make the wedding cake?! Gee what a nice gal.

As far as the sewing....she would have to go elsewhere. No way in flipping heaven would I sew a darn thing.

Are you a good sewer and that is why she asked you?

 

[shirleyb]

Where's that wedding thread we had a month or two ago, this one belongs right in there.

I can't imagine at their ages that any of the girls are thrilled about being called flower girls. I'd feel pretty silly if I were them. I'd call them all jr. bridesmaids.

I also can't imagine a 10 yr old hosting a shower!!! Wow.

Have you given your brother advice to run like the wind??? LOL