Wearing black to a wedding?

[EsmeraldaX]

Is it REALLY innapropriate?

I just found a really gorgeous dress that is black with 3 tastefully placed red ribbons. It is very "me". It's a little too dressy to wear to work but I justified buying it (it was marked down from $70 to $11.99!) by saying it would be great for my brother's wedding.

My mom and brother have not really commented on it negatively but several friends, including a fashion clueless guy, have said wearing black to a wedding, even a very formal one, is not appropriate. That it would be like my "saying something" about the relationship etc.

Well, I wasn't thinking that deeply into it. I just thought it was a pretty dress. I wear black a lot. It's slimming, it looks better on me than most colors and I'm very comfortable in it.

I have other things I could wear, so it's not like I *have* to wear it, I was just looking forward to it.

The wedding will take place in a large, old cathedral in South Boston, and the reception at an old inn in the Boston area in the late afternoon/early evening. I think it is "formal" as there are no children allowed.

What do you think?

PS. I sent emails to my mom and brother to ask them what they really thought about it too. They are both at work / out of the house now though, but if they say no, which I doubt they would because they're both very polite, I certainly will wear something else.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

I can't speak for the whole ettiqute thing, but I had my bridesmaids wear black dresses at my wedding and now 12 years later my sister is having the same thing.

 

[tkyes]

Wear it! I don't think it's innapropriate at all. The only time I think it looks weird is if you are the Mother of the bride or groom, then it seems a little weird, I've still seen it done though.

I bought a great black dress that I wore to multiple weddings over the past couple of years. I think it's perfectly fine.

 

[IloveDMB]

I just wore a black dress to a wedding two weeks ago. I wasn't the only one there in black, so you go ahead and wear your black dress. Congrats on the great find!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

this dress has red trim, right?


it doesn't look like you're dressed for a funeral. so it's not inappropriate.

I went to a black tie wedding once where almost every woman in the room was wearing black.

you might want to play up the color accent, though.

 

[Maleficent13]

Totally fine. I think white is about the only color you shouldn't wear to a wedding these days (unless, of course, you're the bride!). If it makes you feel good, then go for it!

ps - sounds like my taste too! Everytime I buy something new, all my friends groan, "It's not BLACK, is it?" You betcha!!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Thanks all!

I feel better now. I don't think it looks appropriate at all. It's a nice summery dress. It's very elegant but not distracting. I always thought the only colors not to wear were white and all red.

Now, if my boyfriend wears a red shirt under a black suit jacket and black pants, I don't think that should count as "red being innapropriate", right? That only applies to women trying to outdo the bride I think.

And the bride (my soon to be sister in law) is certainly a lot "prettier" than my boyfriend! lol! So I don't think she has anything worry about.

 

[noel]

As long as your brother and his wife don't think you're making some sort of statement, go ahead and wear it!

 

[caitycaity]

another vote for not inappropriate. at several evening weddings i've attended recently, almost every woman was wearing a little black dress.

fwiw, i never heard the no all red thing.

 

[stinkerbelle]

I think that sounds really nice of your boyfriend to wear.
I personally never heard of red being 'inappropriate' for a wedding either. You 2 will look so snazzy together.

My bridesmaids wore black at my wedding last September...I wore a black dress (the same one) to 2 different weddings last year, and I'm wearing black to a wedding in 3 weeks.

The ONLY time I think black MAY look "off"...is if it's a morning garden wedding...then I think you should wear something 'lighter'...but that's just MY taste...you certainly wouldn't be inappropriate wearing black though!

 

[Pin Wizard]

I know that these days they do wear black to weddings, but it still bothers me. To me, black means DEATH!

I remember on my wedding day when I saw my husband's sis-in-law in an off-white dress, it bothered the heck out of me!

 

[robinb]

The only person who matters is your brother's fiance. Ask her if she cares about the color of your dress . Some brides can be very fussy. I wasn't ... I allowed everyone to wear whatever they wanted including my Maid of Honor.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

I wore a black dress to a friend's wedding once, and they're still married....5 years later! I really don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[KathyTX]

As long as you don't accessorize with a black veil, I don't think anyone will think you're in mourning!

I think a nice "little black dress" is very appropriate for a formal wedding. Enjoy!

 

[Scarlet O]

I vote for the black dress,as well. I think the rules of fashion have changed significantly for both men and women, allowing us more freedom of choice. Yet the black dress has remained a symbol of elegance.

Wear it, and have a great time at the wedding in Boston [one of my favorite cities].

 

[CamColt]

Another vote for just fine.
My bridesmaids wore black and probably at least 50% of the women at my wedding wore black. It was a Saturday evening/night wedding if that matters.

 

[helenabear]

I also agree... I think it is totally fine. I have heard some friends who were from a southern state say it was wrong, but up here I see black all the time!!!

After all, most of the weddings I go to, the groomsmen and groom wear black, what's the difference? None at all in my eyes!!! All of us siblings have worn black at each others wedding... it's actually "tradition" now for one of us to wear red and black (I fullfilled this by having a black dress and red nails... last weddings were black skirts with red tops... all the girls rotated).

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I think red and black is very classy together. It's probably my favorite combination. My mom said honestly she has no opinion one way or the other and my brother said it was fine. The bride also said it was fine and her bridesmaids, while not in black, will be in very dark burgundy with black shoes, so I think it's all set I'm going to get to wear my dress! Woohooo!

 

[Mishetta]

Wear it! It sounds gorgeous too & what a steal!!!

My Mother made her own gown for my wedding. She was walking me down the aisle since my Dad passed away when I was 8 y/o. So my Mom made herself a copy of a dress she saw in a Bridal Magazine & she made it in Black (with white satin bows & collar) so that it would look somewhat like the Tuxedo look. She looked absolutely stunning. She was also laid to rest in that beautifully elegant outfit per her request.

 

[arminnie]

35 or 40 years ago it would have been totally inappropriate but times change, and I don't think anyone will think twice about it.

I would make sure the bride is ok with it though. When a friend of mine remarried she specifically asked no one to wear black as she was very superstitious. That was just her though not because of "etiquette".