We Just Found Out That We Have...

[Chattyaholic]

another grandson!! DS was involved with someone for over 3 years, they broke up, got back together for THREE days then went their separate ways for good. She immediately started dating someone else, then a couple months later she says she's pregnant. DS said it couldn't be his, but the paternity test he took a few weeks ago proved him wrong. The baby is his. The baby is three months old and we have not seen him. I don't know when we will. DS will probably go through the court to get visitation, as there is a restraining order on his ex-girlfriend. She is to have no contact with him or any of his immediate family. She was in jail 10 months when they were together (he took full-time care of HER son during that time), and she is a very manipulative person, sometimes physically violent and abusive too. DS tried to make it work with her, but just couldn't. He has since moved on and gotten his life back on track and is getting married next month. I feel so sorry for the baby, and just hope we will get to see him once in awhile.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Well, congratulations. And do hope it all works out, for the new baby, your son, the mom, everybody.

 

[Keli]

Kinda like a blessing (a new grandson) in the midst of a nightmare. I hope it all works out for everyone.

 

[Chatter Box]

awwwwww congrats and I hope you get to see him...

 

[Sandy22]

she is a very manipulative person, sometimes physically violent and abusive too.

Congrats on the new grandson. I hope the baby's mother is no longer violent and that your son is successful at getting visitation or custody.

 

[megan4777]

Congrats!! I'm sure you will see you new grandchild!!

 

[tiggersmom2]

Congrats on the new grandson. I hope the baby's mother is no longer violent and that your son is successful at getting visitation or custody.

With the son denying he could be the father (and come on....he HAD to know there was that possibility) and getting married soon.....I just hope he DOES want to be a part of this child's life.

 

[Chattyaholic]

With the son denying he could be the father (and come on....he HAD to know there was that possibility) and getting married soon.....I just hope he DOES want to be a part of this child's life.

I'm sure he DOES want to be part of his son's life. And I'm sure he WILL. He is NOT a "deadbeat" Dad as your post seemed to insinuate he might be. He and his high school girlfriend got pregnant when he was just 16 years old. He stood by her, went to all pre-natal visits with her, had to deal with knowing the baby would need surgery IMMEDIATELY after she was born, and was right by his girlfriend's side during the c-section, when he was 17 years old. At 18, two weeks after high school graduation (he was on the honor roll his whole senior year by the way) he married the mother of his child thinking it was the "right thing to do." They tried to make it work, for 5 years, and had another child in the meantime. When they divorced he and his ex-wife worked out their own custody schedule. EACH OF THEM having both children half time. He has had his two children every other week ever since, and he ALSO pays child-support on top of THAT. The girlfriend he was involved with previously spent 10 months in jail and he cared for HER SON FULL-TIME while she was incarcerated. THAT should tell you SOMETHING about my son's character. Yes, he has made mistakes (haven't we ALL?) and he has learned from them and he accepts FULL responsibility for them. He WANTED the paternity test, to find out if he was the baby's father or not. Yes, he was in denial, he hated to think of being tied to the baby's mother for the next 18 years and having to deal with her. I remember when he first introduced her to us, I thought "uh oh, she looks like trouble." But I thought that if she made my DS happy then I needed to stay out of it. She DID turn out to be trouble, I witnessed some of it with my own eyes. The woman he is with now is a gem, and I just pray eveything continues to work out for them. It's going to be difficult for him, with his new bride, but SHE was aware he COULD be the father as well and I believe she will stand by his side, as WE, his parents, will also.

 

[Microcell]

Nice to hear a father taking responsibility. Speaking as a child in a horrible situration growing up, I hope that if she is abusive that he will seek full custody and supervised visitation for her. If you saw some of the abuse, others probably have too. He needs to get the child away from that woman now.

 

[Mimi Q]

Congrats on the grandbaby. Hope the situation works out.

 

[Chattyaholic]

Microcell: I do have to give her some credit, as she was not abusive to the children, only to my DS. That was the last straw, and the reason for the restraining order against her. When she found out DS was involved with someone else, after he had asked her to leave (they were not married, just lived together about three years), she went to the other woman's home and kicked the door in when they wouldn't answer. She was constantly calling and making threats. Yelling and screaming, destroying property, the police were called several times, but she was never bad to the children. She was very nice to my grandchildren and they liked her. But she wouldn't even allow my DS to come over for coffee or to visit us without her calling after 10-15 minutes wanting to know when he was coming home. She wanted him with her all the time he wasn't working at his job. He tried to talk to her about it but she would never listen. He is in a much healthier relationship now.