We found a cat, and I am relieved!

[emmybee]

A kitten (so we thought) had been coming around our apartment for the past 3 weeks or so. My husband had been taking the lead in giving him food, and the little guy was surprisingly friendly. He was hanging with a cat that was very feral, and we thought it might have been his mom, but we never got close enough to get a good look. The kitten had a mangled look He was covered in scabs, his fur was missing in patches, and he was rail thin.

Last Saturday, the kitten allowed my husband to pick him up, and we made the decision to bring him in and quarantine him from our 3(!) boys. The vet didn't have availability until Friday, and we were very surprised by the findings. First of all, he was so small, we figured he was maybe 4-5 months old. The vet said he was closer to 1 yr of age. He was profoundly underweight, 8lbs 6 oz. As far as the scabs, the doctor thought it was from a flea allergy. Additionally, he had already been neutered and was chipped. After an investigation, the vet called the person and left a message. My husband decided to treat the cat, vaccinate him, and test him for communicable disease.

When my husband told me the news, I will readily admit that I did not have a good opinion of this owner. I know that rationally, the little guy could have gotten out, but I did not have a good feeling about it. Right or wrong, I wanted to claim the cat. It didn't make sense that a cat would deteriorate to such a poor condition in only 3 weeks.

The owner did end up calling a few hours later. Initially, he seemed eager to get the cat back until I mentioned being reimbursed for the medical expense. At that point, he promptly offered to let me keep the cat. He said that he was moving out of state in 3 weeks, he lived w/ a disabled parent that lets the cat out, he didn't have time to take care of him, etc. Most surprising was that he told me the cat was 2 years old. My Monkey is 2, and he's at least twice his size! I kept expressing surprise at the cat's poor condition, the scabs, the weight. He seemed to not know a thing about it. Turns out, the guy lives across the street! He said the cat had been missing for a week (of course), but how did he not see the cat's terrible appearance?! It was obvious when he started coming around 3 weeks ago!

I hope this guy really moves away in a few weeks. He told me that the cat urinated indoors, but we haven't had one incident all week. In fact, he uses the box better than my Monkey who was prematurely taken from his mom. We decided to call the cat MeowMix. I am pretty sure that we now have a 4th cat. The chip people said we can call in 2 weeks to get the info transferred to us. I am so relieved that we were able to help one sweet kitty get into a better situation. We will get test results back tomorrow and we'll start on slowly introducing MeowMix to Babu, Dug, and Monkey in the coming days/weeks. Even if we can't keep him forever, we will not allow MeowMix to go into a neglectful home ever again!

The guy asked if his kids could see the cat in a couple of weeks. I said ok, but now I'm having second thoughts about it. He doesn't know where we live, but I saw him from my window when he called. My building has 90 units, but I would rather he not correctly realize that we are only on the 1st floor....directly across the street.

 

[nw6675]

Thanks for taking care of the kitty I was never a cat person until 4 years ago when we adopted one from the shelter and four months later had a six week old show up in our yard.

 

[emmybee]

My husband and I have always been cat people. My husband is very, very good with them. He seems so "hard" on the outside, but it's beautiful how sweet and perceptive he is with critters

We lost our elder cats early on during Covid. We got Babu, and then Dug, but I was profoundly grieving when Butters died. I saw Monkey at the pet store via a rescue, and he was so cute & energetic, I had to have him. He's been our trouble child, but we have put a lot of work into him, and he's still a nervous guy. I thought we were crazy to have 3 cats, but now 4?! I'm just happy they can all have the care they deserve.

 

[Micca]

So he freely gives up the cat to you but wants his kids to see him? How's that gonna work? Won't the kids want to keep him when they see him? That's going to be difficult, I'd ghost the guy. Nice that you have taken him in.

 

[emmybee]

So he freely gives up the cat to you but wants his kids to see him? How's that gonna work? Won't the kids want to keep him when they see him? That's going to be difficult, I'd ghost the guy. Nice that you have taken him in.

Another good point, I was just nervous about him knowing where we live. I was going to follow my husband's lead if the guy actually called back. He is pretty disgusted with how this guy was basically allowing the cat to starve. My personality tends to be people-pleasing/conflict avoidant, although I recognize how crazy that sounds in this scenario.

 

[NannyBeBe]

I am a very kind person, except when it comes to mistreatment of children or animals. Then I turn into a monster.
If I were in your position, I would avoid having the guy's kids see the cat; but if you feel you must, then I would not allow it until after the ownership had been transferred to you via the chip people.

 

[Genie+]

Doesn’t sound like this guy is invested in this cat so I’d probably just suggest that you keeping the cat and change of ownership is already hard on the cat, so it’s probably best not to confuse it by mixing again with the old owners And children.

 

[emmabelle]

tell them you'll let Meowmix do an Instagram live with them.

I'm glad he found people who will love him.

 

[emmybee]

tell them you'll let Meowmix do an Instagram live with them.

I'm glad he found people who will love him.

That's an interesting suggestion. I do have Insta, but I would have to investigate how to do that. I imagine I would have to let the guy "follow" me first? Thank you!

 

[Jennasis]

Someone dumped a kitten at my farm last week. He has become part of the family already!

 

[Imzadi]

So he freely gives up the cat to you but wants his kids to see him? How's that gonna work? Won't the kids want to keep him when they see him? That's going to be difficult, I'd ghost the guy. Nice that you have taken him in.

TOTALLY this.

I have to wonder how insensitive this guy is: to kids' feelings and to cats needing proper care, like routine feedings and kitty litter.

The fact that a cat can be two years old and a vet not know it means the cat has been emaciated for a L.O.N.G time. I have to wonder if MeowMix had ever been fed properly or had he and the kids just thrown table scraps to him and he thought that was enough? Also, did they have a litter box in the home? One that was changed often? Cats will urinate elsewhere if their box isn't cleaned properly. Or did he just think they could let the cat outdoors to go, like a dog, and come back home when done?

I agree with ghosting him. Just block the phone number. OR IF you decide to let the kids see him, FIRST bring up how the cat is incurring more expenses now since finding out he's two and has been emaciated for so long. Mention that you don't know if you have all the funds for his longtime "treatments." He doesn't have to know that treatments mean properly nourishing MeowMix with healthy feedings and not medical treatments. Also, doesn't changing the microchip registration cost money? Make it sound like you may hit him up for all the money. That may be the last you hear from him - and it will be his idea to stop the interactions between you and him & the kids.

I have to wonder if he didn't ask if the kids could see the cat in a couple weeks because he knew the kids would be all upset seeing the cat again. As they are sobbing about leaving the cat, that maybe you and DH will be such gullible softies over how heartbroken they are that you will just give the cat back and he doesn't have to pay for all the vet expenses?

Why in a couple weeks? Does he not have custody of the kids? That he only has them a couple times a month and that those were the only times the cat was fed properly? That the other times he just set his own finished plate on the floor after a meal and let the cat lick the plate and he thought that was going to be enough? How the Hell does someone let a cat they own get so emaciated?

 

[emmybee]

Why in a couple weeks? Does he not have custody of the kids?

I believe that's the case. As far as letting him see MeowMix, I think I'm more comfortable letting them see him via video, if he even bothers reaching out to me. Everyone commenting is right, I don't want to stress MM out, I don't want him to possibly run away. I don't want this guy to know where I live, or possibly harass me. I have no idea what my husband would say, he's so pissed at the neglect.

The good news is that we are cleared to start introducing him to our other cats. Our most chill boy, Dug, isn't a superfan, but he took to being in the same space practically right away. Nervous Monkey briefly sniffed, hissed, and left the room. We aren't even close to trying an introduction with our diva Babu. That's going to take time.

MM has gained a few ounces, so he's closer to 9 lbs. His fur looks a little better, but he's still so skinny. I can't wait to make him a chonky boy! (Not really, but he deserves it.)

 

[DodgerGirl]

My uncle found his cat after he decided to give my late grandmother's cat to a neighbor of his and my uncle found his cat wandering around the neighborhood and he decided to take her in because she was really tiny and he tried to find the mother cat but according to my uncle the mother cat died giving birth to his cat and her brothers and sisters and he got his cat taken to the vet for a checkup and she was very scared and frightened which she has outgrown now. And now my uncle's cat is very lovable and sweet but the only thing my uncle's cat will do is bite strangers and she likes to sleep with my uncle at the foot of his bed and she is an really cute angel

 

[Imzadi]

I have no idea what my husband would say, he's so pissed at the neglect.

He's not the only one. I think there are a bunch of us here in his camp.

 

[emmabelle]

That's an interesting suggestion. I do have Insta, but I would have to investigate how to do that. I imagine I would have to let the guy "follow" me first? Thank you!

I was trying to think of ways he could show the kids the cat without you giving him personal info. Seems like TikTok could work too.

 

[kanerf]

When I was living in AZ, I had a orange tabby that used to visit. He did not bother me or anything, he would just show up sometimes. I began to refer to him as Adopt-A-Cat. I had a frenetic life at the time, traveling for work 3 weeks out a month, so I could not have a pet. A short time later I ended up moving to MO and rented my house out to my niece. She ended up adopting Adopt-A-Cat.

 

[china mom]

While I agree that the owner should have noticed the skin condition and his ambitiousness towards the cat is not gret, please do not rush to judgement solely on the cat's size alone. I adopted two identical black kittens (but from different litters) and my boy is in the 12-14 pound range and my little girl is about 5-6 pounds soaking wet. And she is often soaking wet as she loves to play in the rain.

One year, she got fleas and has a flea allergy. I didn't catch it until her fur thinned and she started getting bald spots (and I am a very involved cat owner). Not to the point of scabs but she did not look great. Of course, I stay on top of her flea medicine now.

I think the owner is being stupid for wanting to let the kids see the cat and then giving it away but, just to play devils advocate but how is it not theft to keep the cat from its owner if he were to ask for it back? I am not sure that you can hold it as collateral for the vet bills since you treated the cat on your own accord and without his consent. I am happy you made the cat healthy but that was a charitable act that you cannot expect reimbursement for.