WBRepo-Ship of Thieves-Remember the Magic Pt 15

[nskjerven]

I think you told Tyler the right thing but that Dad should be the one talking to him. I see it as if Tyler was at a friend's house and has to do what his friend's parent tells him or doing what his teacher tells him. I surely would not want SM telling him to do something that you don't agree with but there will be times that dad isn't around and that Tyler may need to listen to her. Just my opinion.

good advice

I agree Gydell....it's a little more than babysitting authority but much less than parental authority. Tyler is living in her house with her child. She does have some rights there. But no Tyler is not her child. All three of you need to realistically meet in the middle and all be on the same page as to where those lines are drawn.

I do remember that she tends to overstep so you have to be careful....give her an inch, but she only gets an inch....that's it. Good Luck. It's not going to be easy setting boundaries, but they must be set for all of you.

Thanks guys! She does overstep her boundaries Deb, that's why I tend to overreact about this issue.

Gydell, she does tell Tyler to do things I don't agree with, so that's another reason I tend to overreact about the issue. Example: At a family function, with her family, a couple kids were throwing toys at Tyler, so he told the mom of one of the kids (I believe that mom was Tyler's stepmom's cousin). Stepmom then told Tyler he's never to ******* When he told me about this, I explained to him that she's right that it's not good to be a tattletale, but the difference is that he should tell an adult if kids are doing something that could result in somebody getting hurt. That particular situation was not a big deal, but I don't want him to think he can't ever tell an adult when something's going on, because there very well could come a time when other kids are doing something to hurt another kid or something dangerous where they could get hurt, and I'd hate for him to NOT tell an adult and have somebody get hurt.

Anyway, it's a touchy subject overall. I look at it like a babysitting situation, where he has to respect her, but if he does something wrong, dad should handle it when he gets home.

11 more years and then he doesn't have to listen to ANY of us!

you aren't using apples to apples in comparison. I think you think tattletaling is bad too, so really that isn't a bad comment that she gave him is it? And likely she explained the difference between tattle tale and tell when in harms way (if not then it opened the door for you to continue that talk)

Look at the glass as half full instead of half empty and you might find that Tyler is fortunate to have a step-mom

I'm going to throw my 2cents in, I think it is much more then a "babysitting" situation. He lives in her house for a week at a time now. If there are areas you feel she over steps, that should be between you and Tyler's dad. As should how Dad expects him to behave in his house should be something he should address with Tyler. He needs to respect her as a parent, because that is what she is. Like it or not, she is his stepmother. Which granted, is not quite the same, but what if, God forbid, something happens to you Holly and he has to be with his dad all the time, she would be mom full time. It is not as if she is just the "GF", but is his dad's wife. Yes, dad should handle when he gets home, but does that mean he can "run amuck" until then?

Again, just my thoughts, that maybe since are not the same as the others, I should keep to myself, but I think another view may be something to think about.

I agree here too.

Can't add any more than the others just to say that the role of stepmom has to be one that is a no win situtation. I know that I could not do it.

And Holly - you're still gonna want him listening to you at 18 that magic clock doesn't stop ticking on that birthday I know you know that and moreover Tyler is going to listen and talk to you because the door is open for him with you. Keep it open then you make a smooth transition from child to parent to friend to friend. I think the adult times we share with our parents (that's all I can comment on so far) has to be some of the best for both sides

 

[nskjerven]

My Godiva birthday cake came today....so I ate a slice and then looked up the numbers....thinking that it would be between 7 and 10 points per slice. Nope....12 for a 1/13th slice. Well I could only cut it up in 1/12ths. So I used 13 points. That's half a day of points for one slice. WOW...that's a lot. I think I'm only going to eat a half a slice and freeze the rest....I don't want to use that many points on any one item, no matter how good it tastes.

I'm sorry here is the voice of INSANITY speaking....

SCREW it eat a piece of cake it's your birthday !!!!

 

[Tink rules]

I'm with Nan... (then bring the rest on the 29th... we'll take care of it for you... (oh there goes those extra 35...)


Besides... you probably did more than 13 points on the bike this week... treat your self to a slice for your BD!!!

 

[iankh]

I'm sorry here is the voice of INSANITY speaking....

SCREW it eat a piece of cake it's your birthday !!!!

Exactly the sort of advice I help people counteract.

 

[iankh]

I'm with Nan... (then bring the rest on the 29th... we'll take care of it for you... (oh there goes those extra 35...)


Besides... you probably did more than 13 points on the bike this week... treat your self to a slice for your BD!!!

Actually I don't agree.

My advice is to make a mindful choice. Plan your weekly and activity points accordingly, and enjoy yourself within reason.

Keep thinking of that mega present --- the cute little car.

 

[Tink rules]

Ian... rice cakes for your birthday are no fun....

she can have that the other 364 days of the year...

One piece of cake isn't going to kill anyone...

 

[nskjerven]

Exactly the sort of advice I help people counteract.

Ian... rice cakes for your birthday are no fun....

she can have that the other 364 days of the year...

One piece of cake isn't going to kill anyone...

my thoughts exactlly one piece won't kill ya the whole thing in one sitting might

 

[iankh]

Ian... rice cakes for your birthday are no fun....

she can have that the other 364 days of the year...

One piece of cake isn't going to kill anyone...

I would suggest reading what I actually wrote. I said to use activity points and use weekly points.

 

[iankh]

my thoughts exactlly one piece won't kill ya the whole thing in one sitting might

And you missy .... well I just don't know what I'm going to do with you!

 

[Tink rules]

whatever it is... it could be interesting... sell tickets...

 

[Tink rules]

Hey Marilyn...

did you know that Dec 17th is International Talk with a fake British Accent Day???? I say go for it...

 

[nskjerven]

And you missy .... well I just don't know what I'm going to do with you!

oh yes you do - you're going to evenutually drag me over to the dark side of this cult and get me skinny and I'll wear this again

 

[BubbaGrump]

Ian... rice cakes for your birthday are no fun....

she can have that the other 364 days of the year...

One piece of cake isn't going to kill anyone...

Ummmm....we're talking about our dear friend Deb, who has suffered some serious pain and whatnot with some pretty serious health issues these last couple of years.....So don't do it Deb. You will regret it afterwards. Do half a piece or whatever your points will allow. Now if I could listen to my own voice of reason......Sorry Honey Buns and Snotty Lady.

 

[iankh]

Ummmm....we're talking about our dear friend Deb, who has suffered some serious pain and whatnot with some pretty serious health issues these last couple of years.....So don't do it Deb. You will regret it afterwards. Do half a piece or whatever your points will allow. Now if I could listen to my own voice of reason......Sorry Honey Buns and Snotty Lady.

Bubba, you are so very wise, and also able to read my thoughts.

 

[iankh]

Why I get upset:

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/paperchase/2009/11/rhode-island-governor-vetoes-burial.php

 

[gydell]

Why I get upset:

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/paperchase/2009/11/rhode-island-governor-vetoes-burial.php

I agree with you! Some peole are just a...s...s............es.

 

[BubbaGrump]

I agree with you! Some people are just a...s...s............es.

YA!!!! What she said!!!!

 

[Tink rules]

Ummmm....we're talking about our dear friend Deb, who has suffered some serious pain and whatnot with some pretty serious health issues these last couple of years.....So don't do it Deb. You will regret it afterwards. Do half a piece or whatever your points will allow. Now if I could listen to my own voice of reason......Sorry Honey Buns and Snotty Lady.

Bubba, you are so very wise, and also able to read my thoughts.

I agree.. points are important... but you guys are MEN... who are not pre genetically programed to require CHOCOLATE at certain times of the year... and Birthdays count.

Why I get upset:

http://jurist.law.pitt.edu/paperchase/2009/11/rhode-island-governor-vetoes-burial.php

The man's a JERK...

 

[BubbaGrump]

I agree.. points are important... but you guys are MEN... who are not pre genetically programed to require CHOCOLATE at certain times of the year... and Birthdays count.



The man's a JERK...

So have half a piece of CHOCOLATE cake and live to see your NEXT BIRTHDAY!!!And don't even try that" its a girl thing".....NOT!!!!

 

[Tink rules]

I'm not arguing with you... I'm just saying we understand chocolate much more than you do... & I know you can polish it off with the best of them... but do you get one week out of the month when you will chew off someones arm if they are holding a Milky Way???