way OT - I think I have a drinking problem

[mommyofboys]

You have taken the first step - admitting you have a problem. My dad is currently in AA for his years & years of drinking.

AA meetings aren't easy. Find another near you. There are several near my dad but he has him "home" meeting. This is where he normally goes, but if he can't make it there he will go to one of the others. there were times in the beginning where he would go to more than 1 meeting a day. You also need to get a sponsor - my dad's sponsor is the best. He too is a recovering alcoholic and in the beginning my dad had to call him once a day and anytime he wanted to drink.

You also mentioned something else that those in AA refer to. I will not drink today! Don't worry about tomorrow or the day after. It's today - I will not drink today.

You said that you once went 30 days and thought you could have 2 and it easily turns into 12. You can't get drunk until you open the first.

We will be celebrating his 1 year sobriety on June 12th - we can celebrate yours also...one day at a time. Let's celebrate today! Go to another meeting and then another - get your 24 hour sober chip. You can do this!

 

[Sandy321]

HI,

I hope you were able to get up this morning and enjoy today sober, no hangover, find joy in your family... know that you are worthy! I hope you find the courage to call your doctor, make a health appointment, it is an emergency - or maybe google your town and treatment centers... here in IL Alexian Brothers has a good program.

Like others have said, AA is abundant - and its the people that have btdt that will help encourage you and give you strength for today - it may take many many tries to find a group of people you can bond with - but you will IF YOU want to -

you are being pro active - dont give up on you now!!

 

[Kallista]

Quite and accomplishment and you should be proud.Way to go!!

Thanks. It's weird but I don't really think of "not drinking" as an accomplishment. It was something I had to do for myself.

Quitting and making the changes necessary to make the quitting stick was hard for about 18-24 months. Then it was just a fact -- Kallista doesn't drink. Now it's really more like a dietary restriction, more than anything else.

I don't really think about it. It's just something that I don't do. I also don't roller blade, bungee jump, ride horses, eat peas, drink regular (non-diet) soda, or spend more than $100 on a pair of shoes.

Quitting is hard. Staying sober after you get some time really isn't that hard.

Thank you for the good thought, though.

 

[Kallista]

I am not an everyday drinker, but I am a binger. I stopped drinking for 30 days and thought I could begin drinking more responsibly. Nope, I can't have just a couple of beers because 2 will quickly turn into 12.

That's how I drank before I went to AA. I didn't drink every day. However, when I did drink, I had no idea when I was going to stop. I could plan to have just one or two drinks and I'd end up having a lot more. I typically drank until all of the alcohol was gone or I was out of money or the bar was closing. I drank until something outside me stopped me from drinking. As I continued drinking, my binges got closer and closer together, so that a once a week binge turned into a twice a week binge turned into three times a week turned into four times a week. I'm pretty sure I would have gotten to every day drinking eventually.

Since I can't regulate the amount of alcohol I drink when I drink, I only have one choice -- my choice is whether I take the first drink or not.

 

[PrincessAtta]

I have some experience with this, and the lack of control that a binge suggests, is a problem.

I think, and it's easy for me to judge here, from my computer, that the hiding suggests more than a problem. It suggests an addiction that you are still unable to admit. Are you hiding it out of shame or arrogance? Are you hiding it from your husband because you don't want him to be upset or because you don't want him to be angry? Are you sneaking it into the house? Or are you hiding the extra empty beer cans that you don't want him to know you drank? I'm not looking for answers, I just think you need to analyze what your behavior pattern suggests.

The book I suggested (It Will Never Happen to Me) may be very enlightening for you because it will give you a glimpse of the long term affects alcohol addiction can have on children of alcoholics. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your daughter. Chances are she knows everything your husband knows. She sees everything you think you're hiding from your husband and children.

To others following the thread, I think the OP has clarified her drinking patterns to let others know that she probably does not need antabuse or ativan; probably does not need inpatient treatment because she probably will not suffer any dangerous consequences from stopping.

To the OP, binges, uncontrolled drinking, etc., can very quickly turn into more self-destructive behavior. I know many people who, in your position, stopped and never regretted it, are leading happier, more productive lives, as are their children. I know many people who, in your position, didn't stop, tried to get a handle on it, and couldn't, and who now have broken marriages, lost jobs, arrest records, who have injured themselves or others while drinking, who have embarassed themselves or their families or friends while drinking, whose children are on file with social services, who have been involuntarily admitted to inpatient treatment by the courts, who have lost visitation rights with their children, who feel like h.ell, look like h.ell, act like h.ell every day of their lives.

It's a fine line between "problem drinker" and "alcoholic", but it seems like it's time for you to make a choice. It's not going to get better; it's only going to get worse.

I'm sincerely rooting for you.

 

[copwife92]

I knew posting my problem on here would bring a few suggestions/comments but I had no idea so many people went through the exact same thing I am going through. Hiding beer cans and sneaking alcohol into the house is/was exactly what I was doing. It started out as a once a week binge but is quickly becoming more.

I didn't drink at all yesterday and I'm not going to drink today.

Thank you for all the encouragement and personal messages!

 

[PrincessAtta]

Good luck today!

 

[mommyofboys]

Way to go

I am not going to drink TODAY!

 

[minimandymouse]

Keep it up
thinking of you at this very hard time
keep going its worth it
life will be sooooooo much better
love and best wishes
mandy

 

[PrincessAtta]

Wondering if you've thought through some strategies for the next few days. Weekends will be challenging with the increase in unstructured time. You should think through where your trouble spots will be, and plan ways to counteract temptation.

One thing I suggest is mentally seeing yourself turning down drinks in social settings. Come up with what your responses will be when people ask you why you're not drinking. A simple "I'm taking a break" should suffice, but you may want to blame a diet, or antibiotics, to get you over the hump.

Also, the temptation to go to the liquor store may be great, but if you just force yourself to drive PAST it, you'll be less likely to turn around and go back. It breaks the temptation down to a managable five seconds; take a deep breath and keep driving. If it's the place where you buy your groceries, cigarettes or scratch tickets, think about another place where you can buy those items that doesn't sell alcohol. Or make your husband do the grocery shopping.

Have you tried non-alcoholic beer? I know many who have found success substituting this for regular beer until they don't bother anymore. It's sort of like sucking cinnamon sticks when you quit smoking...it gives your hand and mouth something to do until you get over the nicotine addiction. Others find it's too close to the real thing psychologically. It's a personal decision, but there is a brand that is close to just about any brand you prefer. I know others who pour the n/a beer into cups so it doesn't draw attention to the fact that they're not drinking, or drink soda with a lime and stirrer. If it's cocktails, try soda and cranberry. You won't miss the vodka, and it's healthy.

Thinking of you. Good luck!

 

[copwife92]

Thank you all so much. My DH and I decided to come up with a contract. If he ever catches me drinking again then he will personally drive me to as many AA meetings as he wants. I feel good about this.

I didn't drink yesterday and I won't drink today

 

[badblackpug]

Good job and keep it up. I still think you should actively pursue AA on your own. There are lot's of meetings and please don't judge all by your one experience. You need a support system, and an avenue to vent. Your husband cannot be there 24/7. You need someone to call, someone to lean on when you feel the urge. Someone who understands, who has been there and done that.

I disagree that there is a fine line between problem drinker and alcoholic. If alcohol has power of you, instead of vice-versa you are an alcoholic.

...and don't make excuses for NOT drinking. If someone asks why you are not drinking at a social function but upfront, it will help increase your support system.

Congrats OP. One day at a time.

 

[mommyofboys]

How awesome...another day! I look so forward to getting on here everyday to see the accomplishment you have made.

Keep it up...it won't be an easy road - but you can do it!!


On another note-I disagree with the non-alcoholic beer. When you attend AA meetings you are advised to stay away from it.

 

[crisi]

Thank you all so much. My DH and I decided to come up with a contract. If he ever catches me drinking again then he will personally drive me to as many AA meetings as he wants. I feel good about this.

I didn't drink yesterday and I won't drink today

Since you don't like AA meetings - and are a binge drinker (its the stopping that's hard - the not starting seems easier for you) - that might be a good strategy.

 

[lirija]

OP, have you thought about seeing a psychologist to get the the root of your issues? Most people drink to hide from something emotional, like anxiety, depression, etc. Maybe if you treat the root of the problem, abstaining will be much, much easier. Google cognitive behavior therapy for alcoholism for examples of how this can work for you. I read about how this is the least-used, but most-successful of therapies used today. Just something to consider...