WAY OT: DD8 is asking about ....

[snickerboo]

My dd is also 8 and, sadly, the third grade is the new sixth grade. They talk about boys, want to talk on the phone, care what they wear. I hate it but they are, in the third grade, where we were in sixth. Last year my dd came home and told me that some of the girls in her class were saying that when they turn ten they are going to have sex.

I think because you've already explained a lot of the basics to her already, it shouldn't be too hard. Just be as honest as you think age appropriate. This is one of the hardest mom things you'll have to do but, at least, you'll know she's getting the correct information and it shows her she can come to you with any question she has and, even if you're uncomfortable, you'll answer her. That's so important in the parent-child relationship-especially once we move out of the tween years and into the teens.

Good luck!!!!

 

[seashell724]

Why not say that sex is also for sharing feelings, not just to make babies? What is so wrong with going ahead and sharing that information??? Sex is not just for married people, or just for making babies.

I don't understand why parents find this so difficult. It's certainly appropriate to add, "We believe sex is something you ought to wait until marriage for," but I don't get why parents get so wigged out about talking to their children and avoiding the information they should be giving their kids. Because the chances are very good that married sex for procreation is NOT the kind they will have their first experiences with.

Are you a parent? I don't htink it is fair to judge parent's on here and imply something is wrong with them if they decide to approach a subject differntly from the way you would. Their circumstances are completely different from yours and it is up to them how they handle it without judging them.

Sex is for sharing feelings with someone you are right. (Personally I believe that it is only to be done in marriage.) But at that young of age the comprehension of those feelings and how they are different from thier feelings is not there. The conversation you mentioned is not what the child is asking about. She is just asking "What is sex." At another stage the rest of hte convo. can be had but personally I think that is way to early for that.

 

[Melissa]

and what is your phone number??? Can you handle this for me?? Just kidding...thank you I will go check that site out right now!!

You wouldn't be the first parent that has asked me that! I just went to look at the site and couldn't get it to load, hopefully it is just down for a bit. Don't worry you'll do great!!

 

[ToddyLu]

No children but I do remember "the talk". My mother was very comfortable discussing it will my brother and I. I must have asked a question and was in about the second grade. So I was probably 7 and brother was 5. She had us both hop up on her bed and she drew a picture of the uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes, then explained how it worked in short brief sentences. I remember her description of the uterus as a "pear-shape" for some reason--odd huh! Anyway, I knew I could always take questions to her after that. This year I will be 40 and my brother and his wife have 5 children of their own. So I guess I got more out of the discussion.

When it came time for the "period" talk, she ordered a complete sex ed kit with transparencies and everything, it had a book, journal and different sanitary products. Anywho, it helped me be very comfortable with changes. She made a point to teach about the importance of abstinence (sp?) until marriage. So I grew up with the truth, facts and a wonderful respect for my mother. My father had a talk with me once about "what guys would expect as I got older and how they would respect me if I waited, etc".

Hope this helps you feel better. This year my 15 year old neice got to watch my brother (a nurse practioner) help his wife deliver #5. I guess my family is very progressive or just comfortable with the whole thing.

 

[Melissa]

It works when you get there from this link.

http://www.mainefamilyplanning.org/docs/publications/

 

[dislal]

Plus I had an endometrial ablation almost 2 years ago

This is way off topic, but I am looking into this as an alternative to a hysterectomy and I am looking for peoples opinion on this who have had it. Thanks

 

[jennifer293]

This is way off topic, but I am looking into this as an alternative to a hysterectomy and I am looking for peoples opinion on this who have had it. Thanks

This is the best thousand bucks I have ever spent ...NOW in saying that: DH's cousin had one 2 weeks after me and it did not work and she had to have a full hysterectomy. When I had mine I had minimal pain for about 3 days, but I kept a heating pad on my stomach and pretty much stayed "medicated" so that if there ever was a lot of pain I would never feel it. My mom had the kids so it was good... I still have minimal cramping when it is "that time", and I still get bloated and the mood swings, but I just don't bleed..I call it my ghost period..haha

I would recommend it to anyone especially before having a major surgery!!

 

[jennifer293]

It works when you get there from this link.

http://www.mainefamilyplanning.org/docs/publications/

I got it to work...THANK YOU VERY MUCH..you just don't even know how much this will help..well I guess you do know since this is what you do for a living...lol still thank you!!

 

[DVCLiz]

Are you a parent? I don't htink it is fair to judge parent's on here and imply something is wrong with them if they decide to approach a subject differntly from the way you would. Their circumstances are completely different from yours and it is up to them how they handle it without judging them.

Sex is for sharing feelings with someone you are right. (Personally I believe that it is only to be done in marriage.) But at that young of age the comprehension of those feelings and how they are different from thier feelings is not there. The conversation you mentioned is not what the child is asking about. She is just asking "What is sex." At another stage the rest of hte convo. can be had but personally I think that is way to early for that.

Yes, I'm a parent. I have two daughters, 14 and 19. We've been talking about sex at my house ever since my oldest was five and I was pregnant with her sister. Age appropriate but never dodging the real questions she had.

I was just making the point that parents seem to have a hard time EVER admitting that sex is for anything other than getting pregant. I've had more than one friend talk about how tricky it was to deal with their child when the inevitable question came after an unmarried teen had a baby. It just seems to me it would be simpler in the long run to separate the biology from the morality.

 

[rt2dz]

I decided to have the talk with DS7 when he became aware of certain things pertaining to sex. That told me he was ready, and I really want to be the one to give him the information I want him to have and find appropriate.

One big tool I used was the same book my mom read to me when she was pregnant and I was in second grade: Where Did I come From? Very age appropriate for the younger group: Straight forward, non-embarrassing (for parent and child), simple, deals with the mechanics.

There is also a second/companion book called: "What's Happening to Me?"

 

[kitsch4]

My daughter asked me about sex when she was 8 and in third grade. We ended up having "the talk" sitting in my car in the parking lot at her school. Not exactly the way I envisioned it, but that's okay. I explained about eggs and sperm and how the sperm gets into the woman's body to fertilize the egg. No big deal. She knows that she can talk to me about anything, and I'm so thankful that she was comfortable enough to ask! So when I was all done, I asked her if she had any questions. She said, "Have you and daddy had sex?" I said, "Well, I had you and your brother," and she shuddered! A week or so later she asked if you only had to have sex once and the sperm would stay in there. I told her it was a great question, and gave her the answer. I think the important thing is to be open for the discussion. Don't make her feel like it's some dirty, embarrassing thing to talk about, and encourage questions.

I told her that preferrably she should wait until she's married to have sex, but she really should not have sex unless she is prepared to have a baby, b/c everytime you have sex, you could get pregnant.

We were at the bookstore last week just browsing, and I came across a children's book about sex, our bodies, etc. I let her look through the book while I was sitting with her. She pointed out a couple things, and I again reminded her that if she had any questions, she can talk to me about anything. Sorry this is so long- just wanted to share my experiences. Good luck with your talk!

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

When DD was in about 3rd grade she found a video at the library called Where did I Come From narrated by Howie Mandell. It was a cartoon from the childrens section so I thought how bad could it be. Well let's just say after watching that video she had no more questions. It sure took the pressure off me and it explained everything in an age appropriate way. I'm so happy she found that video for me . She is now 11 and knows all about periods, sex and thanks to Jami Lynn getting pregnant to early.

 

[StitchFanZ]

American Girl has some great books that are good ways to talk about all the changes that are going to come as they grow. The Care and Keeping of You is an easy to ready and discuss book about everything from bras, body changes, periods, etc. Its a good way to get the conversation going.

 

[kitsch4]

We really like The Care and Keeping of You. We also just found "The Girls Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up You." It deals with topics from periods to bullies to nutrition to hygiene, and a lot more.

 

[imthatgirl]

Yes, I'm a parent. I have two daughters, 14 and 19. We've been talking about sex at my house ever since my oldest was five and I was pregnant with her sister. Age appropriate but never dodging the real questions she had.

I was just making the point that parents seem to have a hard time EVER admitting that sex is for anything other than getting pregant. I've had more than one friend talk about how tricky it was to deal with their child when the inevitable question came after an unmarried teen had a baby. It just seems to me it would be simpler in the long run to separate the biology from the morality.

sex is for procreation...that IS the biology of it. what ever else a person puts on it is strictly emotional.

 

[allison443]

Why not say that sex is also for sharing feelings, not just to make babies? What is so wrong with going ahead and sharing that information??? Sex is not just for married people, or just for making babies.

After my daughter's soccer game this weekend, some of the girls on the team were talking. One of the girls (5th grader) said, "you can't have sex unless you're married. If you have sex before you get married you will get pregnant and have a baby." The girl's mother told us that is what she taught her dd using Jamie Lynn Spears as an example.

 

[mjantz]

My 5th grader has taken a class from our church that discusses everything. We've both said if he had any questions he could ask us or the people leading the class but so far nothing.

My 3rd grade girl has asked a few 'differences' questions (why boys have 1 part & girls have another) & has asked when she is going to start to develop but nothing about sex yet. I've answered them as calmly & honestly as possible & hopefully I've been keeping the lines of communication open with both of them. Next year she can start taking the church class & we will definitely put her in there.

My thought in regards to educating my kids about sex has been that I remember how much misinformation I heard* & I don't want my kids to have the same misinformation.


*You can't get pregnant your first time, you can't get pregnant if you're standing up, you can't get pregnant if the guy doesn't, well, 'finish' and so on & so forth.

 

[HeatherC]

I'm 42 with 3 kids and I'm still waiting for my parents to have "the talk" with me!!!

Haven't things changed over the years?

And ....no....I am definitely not like my parents in that regard. Have had and will continue to have the "talks" that our kids need as they arise.

Funny thing is that I think WE stress more over it than they do on hearing the info. My dd was like, "yeah, ok, mom...that makes sense". No big deal to her and I was breaking out in a sweat in case I said the "wrong" thing. Have definitely learned to relax about it.

Good luck to all!

 

[I_Know_You2!]

If she's 8, she's not in the 5th grade.

OP, you need to explain it to her. She'll get her facts from the playground anyway, but you want to be the one to tell her the basics in the way you decide is right.

"Sex is the word we use to describe the way a grown up man and woman share loving feelings with each other. There are special private body parts they use. Sometimes they can make a baby when they have sex, but sometimes they just like to share loving feelings with each other."

Then you can go from there, depending on her questions and your squeamish factor.

Give them the information they need to understand, not look foolish, and give the framework for all the talks ahead.

 

[mjkacmom]

When ds was 8, were were watching a program on twins, and he asked me how the sperm got to the egg. I told him, he said yuck, and that was that. If my kids ask, I'm going to tell them. Since they get full disclosure around the age of 10, it's no big deal to me - the earlier, the better!