Yes folks, we are pleased to tell you that we have an exclusive interview with one of the leaders of G.R.E.E.N.! Since he refuses to tell us his real name in fear of retribution, we will refer to him as the Green King, or GK for short. Following is a partial transcript of the interview:
DisNews: Your organization has been featured prominently in several news stories about VMK. The public currently fears you, particularly given the secret nature of your group. Why are you a secret organization? Why not reveal your identities?
GK: Well, DN, believe me, I would like nothing more than to openly talk to the public about energy conservation on VMK. However, based on our market research about the popularity of our cause, we feel that it is best we remain secret for now. In order to eventually move into the spotlight, we have recently hired the high profile public relations team of Charlene "Char" Truce and Emma Rald in order to soften our image with the public.
DisNews: Tell me, in your own words, what you think the public feels about G.R.E.E.N.! and how you are changing it.
GK: Well, first of all, we have had some concerns over our rallying cry: "Turn out their lights!" We learned just a few days ago that people were taking it the wrong way. We mean it in the spirit of energy conservation. However, others were taking it as a violent threat. Likewise, our trademark gesture, the G.R.E.E.N.! Thumb has been taken by different cultures in very different, and sometimes, offensive, ways. Our PR team should help us make some changes.
DisNews: What type of changes?
GK: Well, for example, the second "E" in G.R.E.E.N.! stands for "enforcement." Truce and Rald have suggested that we change it into "Efficiency."
DisNews: Is it also true that you are trying to distance yourselves from Gang Green? Exactly what is your relationship with that organization.
GK: I'm glad you asked that DN. We are in no way affiliated with Gang Green. True, they are some disgruntled former members of G.R.E.E.N.!, but while we are a peaceful, nonviolent organization, they want to use any means necessary.
There you have it folks. The next exclusive interview with the organization will follow as soon as we interview one of the other three founding members.