Was this tacky?

[MScott1851]

I went to my 10 year class reunion last Saturday. I haven't kept up with anyone, hardly...I moved away, I went to college, etc.

Anyway, there was one girl that I wasn't friends with in high school at all, and have only seen once since then, but after seeing and talking to her, wish that I was friends with her now. We have a lot in common. She is getting married soon to a guy who graduated with one of my best friends from a different high school...small world. I was planning on calling her and maybe we could get together. It's always nice to make new friends.

Today, I got a wedding shower invitation from her. I can't go, but I sent a gift. My co-workers said that it was tacky of her to invite me since we weren't close friends. I was thinking that maybe she was thinking what I was thinking,(enough "thinking" for you?) and is trying to establish a friendship with me, too.

What do you guys think? And would it be tacky of me to try and see if she randomly sent out invitations to round up gifts, since I really do want to be friends with her?

 

[mickey65]

I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt that the interest in genuine. Letting doubt seep into your mind just creates negative energy and perhaps lets wonderful opportunities pass you by. If she was just looking for gifts you will find out soon enough. I hope you have made a new friend!

 

[SugarBear]

Maybe she wants to be friends with you, too, and that's why she sent the invitation. Don't worry about what other people think, if you want to send her a gift, go right ahead. Of if you'd rather send a card with a nice note, she might appreciate that, too. Don't let nosy co-workers spoil a friendship.

 

[Geezer]

Sounds to me like she appreciated seeing you again, and I think she wants to be friends.

 

[powellrj]

I have to agree with the others, I think she was trying to be friends with you. I hope that you see each other again!

 

[goofy4tink]

Yep, I'm agreeing with the others. Looks like she had the same take on the reunion that you did. Hey, we can never have too many friends!!! A shower gift is a small price to pay for a possible new friendship.

 

[Mermaid02]

I think she probably got the same "feeling" that you did and is just trying to make a new friend. Don't let people put those negative thoughts in your head!! Now that you sent her a gift, she will send you a thank you note and probably give you a call etc. It's a great jumping off point for those kind of hard first few contacts. Who knows, she may end up being one of the best friends you have ever had!!

 

[Sleepy]

I also agree that she was trying to further the friendship.

I guess your question will be answered when it comes time for the actual wedding. Will you get an invitation for that I wonder. It is just my opinion that you should get an invitiotion to the wedding if you are good enough for the shower.

 

[marlasmom]

She sent an invitation to her own shower??? Yeah that's tacky.

 

[MScott1851]

NO, I just got an invitation in the mail to a bridal tea for her...I'm not familiar with the girl who is giving it, I believe it is her cousin.

On a side note, how else do you think I was invited? Of course she had to give my name to the person hosting the shower. Just like I did when my friends threw me one. I gave them a list of people I would like to attend. This is standard procedure for showers...you ask the bride for a list.

 

[BedKnobbery2]

I agree, too...sounds like she's extending an invitation of friendship! How neat!

 

[debster812]

I agree with most of the other posters, my feeling is that she got the same vibe you did, and would like to rekindle (or kindle? ) the friendship.

Not tacky at all.

 

[my3kids]

Not tacky at all. The first step in a friendship has to be something......why not an invitation to a fun girl's event like a shower.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Sounds nice to me.

 

[liznboys]

Ditto, I think it was nice of her to want you at her shower..she wants to be friends.

 

[Kimberle]

Well, if you got a invitation to a shower, then you'll get an invitation to the wedding as well!

Receiving an invitation does not oblige you to give a gift and/or attend. It is perfectaly acceptable to decline and not send a gift.

Having gone through the whole wedding "thing", I can tell you how very hard it is to decide on a guest list. The people you thing will never come in a million years come, and the ones you're sure of don't.

Take it as a compliment! She thinks enough of you to want to include you in her special day! Good luck in reconnecting with a old/new friend!

 

[RitaZ.]

I agree with the others, it sounds like she wants to be your friend and probably sensed that you feel the same way about her.

 

[Winka]

Why would your co-workers immediately assume the worst?

I think you're right-on about her wanting to further the friendship. Rather than the gift , I'm sure she would've much preferred your presence. I'm sorry you can't go but do hope you've made a wonderful, new friend. You can NEVER have too many of those.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I agree with most everybody who has responded. I think her intentions were sincere and real and it sounds like she is hoping to start up a new friendship as well. How exciting. Too bad you couldn't make it.

 

[snoopy]

I think your coworkers sound like negative clucking hens, thats what I think.

You did the right thing. I hope you and your new friend are able to strike up a nice relationship. I've met many of my women friends as an adult, I don't think her inviting you is the least bit unusual or out of line.