Was this inappropriate????

[Schmeck]

Disney has a policy for the ages they allow children to be unattended by an adult in the parks, and at DisneyQuest, but I haven't been able to find out what their policy is for their resorts.

Anyone know the legal age kids are allowed to be left at home in Florida? Here in Massachusetts, it's supposed to be 14 years old, LOL!

 

[Doodlebug939]

I am going to add my two cents in here. This is just my opinion but I am kind of conflicted as to what I think is right. You have mentioned that your son is mature enough to stay by himself and I figure that parents know best for their child. However did your sons friend parents know in advance that you were going to leave them alone in the room? That would be my issue if any becuase while it is your choice to leave your son in the room I feel this childs parents should at least be informed before hand. If they feel he is fine with it then I would say that there is no problem. Go and enjoy dinner.

As to mother in laws I can relate. My mother in law thinks it is wrong to let kids walk through your back yard without shoes on. Can you imagine never being barefooted outside and feel lush grass under your feet at least once. In your mother in laws parenting time most moms were probably home everyday but today many kids are coming home to an empty house for an hour or so while mom and dad come home. (Myself included a long time ago) so times have changed and that may be harder for her too see. Hope it helps and like I said it is just my opinion.

 

[Buttercup26]

Here in Washington State, 11 year-olds are able to take Red Cross certified babysitting & first-aid classes to become babysitters. My DD (11) babysits several neighborhood children. Usually just for a few hours and not late at night, but has no problem babysitting and is very capable. I would not hesitate to leave her alone in a hotel room for an hour or two.

However, my own mother is shocked that I let my 11 year old (who has taken the Red Cross babysitting & first-aid class) babysit and be home alone after school (2 hours). Even though she routinely left me home alone with two younger siblings, starting when I was about 9! Again not for long periods of time and not late at night, just to run my dad to work or go the grocery, etc...

Grandparents often 'forget' what they did as parents and think they now know the 'only' way to parent properly.

I always thank my parents (and inlaws) for being concerned loving granparents then remind them that DH and I are the ones raising the children and drop the subject. I won't comment more than that. I stay calm, respectful and loving but won't even have those kind of conversations anymore.

 

[BevS97]

I can raise my hand to being another 11 year old babysitter - that was 1979 and I got $1/hour, $2 after midnight - yes after midnight and I was 11. I also used to babysit babies - they were normally asleep by the time I got there, so I would just sit and watch tv and eat chips, but I have to admit it does make me think- I can't imagine leaving my baby with an 11 year old.

That said - I would have no qualms leaving one in a hotel room for a couple of hours. I would be pretty comfortable leaving my 7 year old in a hotel room for 10 minutes while I popped down to reception for example - I think you have to know your kids and know what they can cope with.

As for mothers in law - I won't even go there...................

 

[Mortlives]

I know exactly where you're coming from. Last week we left DS13 home while we went to a concert, and my in-laws were up in arms. He's 13!
it's not like he can't leave the house, phone the police or have the dogs scare away anyone who might try to menace him.

But I don't see anything wrong with 2 11 year olds. What concerns me is the inlaws suggesting that you and DH going out and leaving the kids is that this is something they feel you did wrong (but not DH). I think there are much deeper issues involved here, and I think DH needs to go to bat for you.

Kungaloosh!
Morticia.

 

[HitchhikingGhost]

Wow. Small world.

I would not think twice about my 11 yo son in a room with his friend, because I know what he is capable of, just as you do with your son. Stand your ground, and firmly advise MIL that her opinion is respected when it is asked for.

I was amazed by the following:

"What do we do when we see something your wife does that we know is wrong?"

Again: Wow. Therein lies the problem; she sees you as "his wife" and not your son's mother. My suggestion to you is to firmly advise your MIL that you are the mother, your husband is the father, and the two of you make decisions together. If you let this go without addressing it head-on, you are in for a lifetime of situations and comments like this and worse.

If you allow this to go by without addressing it, you are giving her a free pass and open invitation for future comments whenever she sees fit. Don't allow her to control your life and intimidate you. If you don't stand up for yourselves, no one will do it for you.

I know you are dreading the thought of confrontation. But TRUST ME, the first time is hard, and it will be much easier if there is another occasion. MIL needs guidelines for her role as MIL and Grandmother (note: not MOTHER). You will be glad you did. I used to let things go, now I hit them head-on, and everyone is happier and there is no longer any anxiety. And your husband HAD BETTER back you up on this and be with you when you talk to her. She may get mad, but she'll get over it. But it won't happen again.

In the immortal words of Barney Fife: "Nip it! Nip it in the bud!"

Good luck!

 

[PneumaticTransit]

First of all, I don't have children - but I can put myself in this situation. I, too, was a responsible child and raised soley by my father who worked constantly (because he didn't get child support). I was home alone A LOT when I was younger (starting in 3rd grade or so). Usually in the morning he would leave for work at 5:00 AM and call to wake me up for school, or I would get home 2 hours before he would. I always had the option to go to the neighbors house if something happened or I simply didn't feel comfortable being alone. I don't think my father was doing anything wrong, but his mother thought it was horrible! Perhaps she forgot the times she would bring her kids to the store and leave them in the toy section while she went out with her friends for 4 + hours.
Some people are hypocrites, and some people just don't realize that it's 2004 and things are MUCH different than the 1950's. Kids grow up very fast - my co-workers son is in 8th grade and has 3 pregnant class mates. Now, I am not condoning THAT, but just a point of reference. I'm sure many adults would be shocked if they read those kind of statistics about kids.
My mother worked at a casino for 10 + years and every week they had to call the police because some moron had money to gamble but not to pay for babysitter, so they locked their kids in their cars. Even carseat aged children - in the winter - in Minnesota. Sorry if I am getting off the topic - but there are truly BAD parents out there. <Getting off my soap box>
You are the mom, you know your son. I can't see anything wrong with what you did. You made sure he knew what was expected of him, and had all emergency contacts available. You're MIL is just a typical MIL - you'll probably do nothing right in her eyes.

 

[aquidneck]

Back in the day our mother-in-law didn't have a cell phone. It's so convenient because you're a phone call away. Do you know how much a fairy god mother costs. I plan on leaving my children with their 13 year old brother when we dine out. I'm going to keep them going all day in the park so the zonk out after they eat. This is from someone who goes out to eat without their children maybe 4 times a year. I feel with the technology we possess and staying within the hotel or nearby is fine. Too bad your mother-in-law had to ruin your nice dinner out with your husband.

 

[MNTerri]

I would trust my children alone before I would trust them with a stranger babysitting them even if it were Disney staff.

Big raspberry to all MIL

 

[crisi]

Originally posted by Schmeck
Disney has a policy for the ages they allow children to be unattended by an adult in the parks, and at DisneyQuest, but I haven't been able to find out what their policy is for their resorts.

Anyone know the legal age kids are allowed to be left at home in Florida? Here in Massachusetts, it's supposed to be 14 years old, LOL!

http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/homealone.html

Check the link. Neither Florida or Massachusetts have any such laws on their books.

 

[Robmom]

I would bet that my MIL would be the same way with me. Although she wouldn't call me "your wife". I think she's more on my side than her own son. But anyway, I also don't see anything wrong in leaving them in the hotel room. If it were home where they could get into trouble, I would think twice. I probably wouldn't be able to enjoy myself if I did it though. I left my DD in the room by herself when she was 9, but only to go and get dinner to bring back. There was a lot of lightning and I figured she was safer back in the room than outside. The grandmas always think they know better. I also stayed home a lot alone when I was probably about 9 because my parents worked. You had the boys well prepared, so I wouldn't let it bother you.