was considering taking my niece

[sndral]

I'm no Andrew Zimmerman, but I enjoy exotic cuisine. But when I was your niece's age we used to visit my great grandfather and other relatives in the Midwest and I remember refusing to drink the milk (it came straight from the cow on the farm) because it tasted funny to me. The vegetables seemed cooked to death and there were lots of breads and fried things all unfamiliar to me. It was hard to find things I wanted to eat on those trips because it was so different from what I was used to. Even as an adult after about 10 days of eating in a foreign country I find myself longing for a meal of familiar food no matter how tasty the local cuisine is.
How does the niece handle restaurant meals - is she able to find something to order? Is it only food that she's so narrow minded about, or is she petty about other things? If she's otherwise an easy going child that you enjoy being around and she's able to find food from a menu that she'll eat then I'd take her. I would avoid places where she might not find any familiar foods and go with places with a broad range of offerings to increase chances that she'll find something she can eat. The important question is whether you can accept that she's picked up an annoying habit from living with and watching her mother all those years and not let her eating habits detract from the vacation. Disney is about so much more than food.

 

[JZCubed]

This reminds me of many years ago, when my cousin came to stay with us for a week. When she refused to eat dinner because it wasn't what she was accustomed to, my mom told her, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I only cook one dinner, and this is all we have tonight." I'm not sure what she ate, if anything, that first night, but I do remember that by the end of the week she was eating whatever my mom served, just as we did. And then she went home, back to my aunt who would cook two dinners, and right back to being picky.

So, if you think you could just let your niece not eat if she didn't want to, take her with you, but if you couldn't do that then leave her home. My dad, a pediatrician, says kids won't starve themselves to death if food is available.[/QUOTE

I was considering taking my niece on our next trip to Disneyworld, but I've had her for the past couple of days and I can say that I will not consider it due to her eating habits. She's 8, and a lovely child...we enjoy having her here with us. However, she eats a total of about a dozen foods (and will only eat specific brands of those foods). I'm ready for her to go home based on what a pain it's been to feed her. I can't imagine taking her on vacation and having to cater to this palate.

Before anyone mentions it, there is nothing wrong with her. She's very smart, has no deficits, just lives in a home with a parent that is as picky as she is and encourages that behavior. For instance, I made a homemade dessert for Easter this year, and her mother was eating it and asked me how it was made. When I mentioned "lemon curd" she pushed it away. My husband just laughed and told her it was like homemade lemon pudding - no unusual ingredients - she told him she didn't eat anything that she wasn't sure of. This is why her daughter eats nothing, and literally skips meals if she doesn't get what she wants.

We eat fairly adventurously - ethnic foods, sushi, curry, etc. My kids were never the"kids meal" type. At 12 and 13, they eat things that many adults won't. We have had a policy since they were toddlers that you try everything several times, you don't get to refuse because it doesn't look or sound good to you. Disney certainly isn't the adventurous food mecca, but we do go out of our way to eat at places that have some different things to offer.

I'm just glad that I didn't take the plunge and offer to take her like we talked about. 9 days of dealing with it would have driven me to the crazy hut.

Your post reminds of Dear Abbey…..

We have been through some similar difficulties too with our child.

But I cook one meal. She learned. She also learned to eat a bag of popcorn, crackers, and fruit if she did not like what was being served for dinner.

Now, at 6 y.o., she eats lamb chops, blue cheese and fried oysters…..and more freshly grated cheese on her pasta than any other human...

But you can also ask the child, "They don't serve Tropicana at Disney, do you still want to go? They don't serve XYZ nuggets at Disney, do you still want to go? If I had a Mickey Bar, would you want one too? The waffles are shaped like Mickey, but they are not Eggo's, would that be alright? We can have lunch with Princesses, but the pasta is not served with Ragu, would that be OK?"

She won't starve and you don't need to play into it.

Oh, no burger at Disney is gong to be tasty for her, because no fried hamburger at Disney is any good. But there are many hand-dipped ice cream parlors.

But if it really, REALLY, annoys you, is this a vacation?

 

[Nancyg56]

Well that's just smart. Soft serve is junk.


If you feel that having specific tastes is a "nightmare" then don't take her. None of this sounds like a huge problem to me, especially since you don't indicate that she's horrid if she chooses not to eat, and I personally would take her. But "pickiness" and it's problems are generally in the eyes of the beholder and how they feel about it, so if you can't handle it and would be bothered by it the whole time instead of just enjoying your niece, then please don't take her.

I agree. This is a problem that just would not exist in my opinion. I would just tell her ahead of time that when we eat out, she either finds something on the menu o she eats bread and butter. To me, a food issue is nto enough to leave a child at home. Bad behavior? Yes. DIning? No.

 

[Nancyg56]

This reminds me of many years ago, when my cousin came to stay with us for a week. When she refused to eat dinner because it wasn't what she was accustomed to, my mom told her, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I only cook one dinner, and this is all we have tonight." I'm not sure what she ate, if anything, that first night, but I do remember that by the end of the week she was eating whatever my mom served, just as we did. And then she went home, back to my aunt who would cook two dinners, and right back to being picky.

So, if you think you could just let your niece not eat if she didn't want to, take her with you, but if you couldn't do that then leave her home. My dad, a pediatrician, says kids won't starve themselves to death if food is available.

LOL! This reminds me of my sister's kids when they were young. Every Monday they had dinner with me, so I cooked for my three and the four of them, my sister, and my Mom. They ate whatever i cooked, no complaining. SO one night their mom cooked what I had, thinking they liked it, and was informed they "only ate that at Auntie Nancy's". LOL! I guess that they knew that I did nto care if they ate or not, the was a good healthy meal in fornt of them, and plenty of vegetable choices so they were not stuck with Spinach or Brussells Sprouts. Eat, don't eat....did nto matter to me but no complaining at my table.

Now I never would cook something that I knew they really disliked, but I was not going to make myself a raving lunatic trying to appease a crew when I did nto need to.

 

[prudence64]

If she's willing to eat chicken nuggets and pizza you'd be all set almost anywhere and can still enjoy your own meals. You just have to get past the feeling that you have to give her a variety to eat. Sounds like her parents don't worry about that.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Don't do it. I took at picky 17 year old boy and it was a huge pain. I'll never take him again. He only eats Dominos pizza and really other terrible foods and hated any other pizza even the one served at the Hilton, Wolfgang, etc.
I ended up ordering Dominos one night. Yuck! He did eat ok at the Crystal Palace and even ate salmon for the first time, but again it's an unneeded pain on vacation.

 

[Nettester]

I'd try it, cause I just wouldn't pay it any attention. There should be plenty of food at Disney, even for picky eaters. Let her eat the exact same kids meal 3 times/day if she wants. It wouldn't effect me getting to enjoy my food. Oh, say you don't drink this brand of OJ? Oh well, that's all they serve, so I guess we won't order it. I'd rather be told honestly than pay for something that goes to waste. Get her an ice water. I would just tell her you are not running all over creation on a hunt for her limited list of accepted foods and drinks. Sorry, it's eat something from what's offered right here or nothing. She skips a meal? Again, oh, well. She'll probably be a whole lot less picky at the next meal. Fills up on snacks? Maybe, but she'd still have to sit with me while I ate at meal times.

 

[disnut8]

When my son was younger, he would only eat fried shrimp, hamburger, or mozzarella sticks in restaurants. So, my husband and I stuck to restaurants where we all could be happy. And then my husband was offered a job 1000 miles away and I was going to join him in four months. At the time, my son was one year removed from high school so he and I were together in the old house. I decided that, since he was an adult and needed to learn how to handle himself without parents (he was able to do laundry and clean his room), he would learn to cook for himself. So, I did my meals, he did his meals. And guess what? He grew tired of the same three things and now, ten years later with two kids of his own, he cooks whatever he feels like and his tastes have expanded to all sorts of things. And yes, he is the sole cook in his family and everyone loves that.

So sometimes kids just need to be broken away from the "safe and normal".

 

[eva]

Oh, I hate even thinking about this. We took our DD's and their families to WDW a few years ago. My oldest grandson is a picky eater. It drove me batty! He was 8 at the time and only ate 3 or 4 things. When we went to Raglan Road I thought we were safe. They have mac and cheese. Thank goodness that was one of the few things he would eat. But of course, it was not the standard orange mac and cheese you get in a box. So he refused to eat. Then he was starving later and we had to walk all over looking for something for him to eat. It was like that half the dinners we ate at WDW. We are taking the whole crew again this September and I am trying to keep positive. He now eats about 5 or 6 things. Of course he is now 13 and we have to pay adult prices for the food plan for him. It just bites my "you know what"! I have told him that he has to order adult meals and that I am not paying anything more for him to get something else to eat. I have thought about not doing the dining plan. But it is the easiest way to control cost and for family members to be able to eat without us being all together.

Stay positive! Stay Positive! Stay Positive! If you say it 3 times it comes true, right?

 

[MakiraMarlena]

if she won't eat anything outside of certain BRANDS you would have to carry most if not all of her food. Which doesn't sound like fun.

 

[happymommy]

I guess it would be different it it were your own child. It isn't. I don't see bringing a child that isn't yours, when her parents could choose to do so if they want. Why do that to yourself?

 

[cadawson]

I am really surprised by the kid-bashing in this post.
It sounds to me that the conflict is between your style of parenting and your sister's. In my experience, your niece is probably feeling nervous about doing something "wrong" when she isn't with her mom.
I think you are making the right decision not to bring her along. I am sure if your sister read your thread, she would not even want to send her child on the trip. I am sure it would be more fun for all parties involved if your niece saved her Disney trip to a time when her parents can take her.

 

[happymommy]

I don't see it as kid bashing. Rather, if her parents wanted to take her, they should.
I find a Disney trip to be fun for taking my kids, but the time that I arranged and was tour guide for 5 adults and 4 kids (other than my folks, it was Japanese business associates of my dad's from Japan) it is a LOT more work! I was basically paid, so did it (and the kids ate anything). This was 24 years ago, so no fastpass.
It's a LOT of work to take kids other than your own. Throw in allergies of picky eaters, and it's more work. Trust me, my kid has allergies (and now my DD has a disease that requires a wheelchair at Disney, so no way I'd ever ask anyone to take either of my kids there, too much work!).

 

[cleverclovers]

Tell her you were thinking of taking her to Disney, but they don't serve any of the foods that she'll eat. So you guess she'll have to stay home - unless she promises to try new foods.

 

[IrishNYC]

I wouldn't take Little Miss Picky, either. My daughter is 5 and a pretty varied eater. Every once in a while she decides she doesn't like something, but in our house if you don't like what's served for dinner, breakfast will be served in the morning.

 

[ReneeA]

Her parents aren't going to take her. They don't like to travel, don't like heat and don't like crowds. I love my niece, and would like her to experience it because my brother and sister in law are never going to take her.

I don't see it as bashing, and very little to do with differences in parenting styles. I would feel this way about any person - adult or child - that I had to consistently go out of my way for every meal to find something for them to eat.

It likely is a non issue anyway because I mentioned it in passing to my brother in law and he told me there is no way his wife will let their daughter fly. She's gone 45 years without getting in a plane, so she's not letting her go, either.

 

[sndral]

?...
It likely is a non issue anyway because I mentioned it in passing to my brother in law and he told me there is no way his wife will let their daughter fly. She's gone 45 years without getting in a plane, so she's not letting her go, either.

How very sad for your niece to have her world so limited by her mother's fears.

 

[cadawson]

I don't see it as kid bashing. Rather, if her parents wanted to take her, they should.
I find a Disney trip to be fun for taking my kids, but the time that I arranged and was tour guide for 5 adults and 4 kids (other than my folks, it was Japanese business associates of my dad's from Japan) it is a LOT more work! I was basically paid, so did it (and the kids ate anything). This was 24 years ago, so no fastpass.
It's a LOT of work to take kids other than your own. Throw in allergies of picky eaters, and it's more work. Trust me, my kid has allergies (and now my DD has a disease that requires a wheelchair at Disney, so no way I'd ever ask anyone to take either of my kids there, too much work!).

I'm sorry - I should have been more specific. There was a post immediately before mine which called the child an inappropriate name. It seems that the post has since been removed.
My point is that an 8 year-old is very much a reflection of his/her home life. I find it best for that age to let the child stay in his/her comfort zone. The child really shouldn't be called out by someone who is not her parent about food choices, especially since the parent has not asked for advice on help with a "picky eater". That discussion really belongs to the parents and the child's pediatrician.
I come from a big family, and we all have different approaches to parenting. It really isn't any of my business how my nephews and nieces eat unless they are clearly unhealthy and are at some risk of neglect.
That said, I do not go out of my way to make special meals for my nephew & niece who are picky eaters. They usually just bring their own meal packed in a lunchbox when they come to visit me. My sis knows they'd go hungry at my house if she didn't send them something they'd eat. Ha ha!
I agree - my kids are even too much work for me! I wouldn't want to send them away for an extended trip for someone else to care for at that age. I learned early on that my niece and nephew are happier if they are with their mom and dad. I don't take it personally. I just make sure to plan things that my kids can do with her kids that are in small chunks of time. No way I'd ever take them on a Disney trip - I think they'd be miserable and we probably would too.