Warning About Permanent Board Sad Stories

[bumbershoot]

I disagree.

Most of the folks who usually fall for the Nigerian scams tended to be senior citizens who only use the internet for e-mail access, and to forward jokes to their family/friends.

In other words, they had no idea scams like that were even possible...

Of course, the Nigerian scam started with snail mail decades ago. Way before today's senior citizens were senior citizens.

Just looked it up...it "is a form of advance fee fraud similar to the Spanish Prisoner scam dating back to the late 19th century." And further, "One variant of the scam may date back to the 18th or 19th centuries".

Isn't that amazing? (quotes from wiki by the way, with citations)

Can I ask because I don't remember post from two months ago but did the op ask for folks to send her the doll or the money for the doll?

If I recall correctly, it was a story about how her child wanted a certain AG doll and couldn't get it, and someone sent a doll (or multiple people did?), and then the poster ended up selling them. And maybe I'm making this up, but the concept was she needed the money more than the doll, and she justified her behavior that way? Or others did?

 

[elaine amj]

If I choose to give to an individual, I really try VERY hard not to pay too much attention to what happens to the money after that. I chose to give because I wanted to. That shouldn't give me the right to dictate the person's entire life and dissect every choice they make after that. There's always drama when that happens.

One one forum I was a part of before, one mom on there who was a regular got into financial difficulties when her DD was hospitalized. I babysat her other two girls for a week so she could be with her hospitalized daughter. Folks on the forum delivered freezable food for the family for several weeks afterwards. We actually had a schedule. We also organized a small fundraiser for her. Some time later, people got mad because she got a manicure a few times and then a few other unwise financial choices popped up and people just felt taken advantage of. For me, I just chalked it up to - I gave what I wanted to give and I knew she genuinely needed help. Other than that, I'm not going to sit and count every cup of Starbucks she drinks or whatever. That said, I sure didn't feel inspired to give to her again LOL! There's always drama when you give or receive money. So many times that degree of separation is helpful.

 

[RitaE]

After having to disentangle my Mother from a huge Cancer Angel scam a couple of years back I really appreciate the warnings.

Some people just don't have the cynicism necessary to filter out some situations. Plus, they get so caught up in that whole "board community" thing that they forget they don't really know the people behind those screen names.

 

[furb & dez]

but here's the flaw with your logic. In reality its all a roll of the dice. Red cross and the Salvation Army both had scandals with misapproriation of funds. The Red Cross had a HUGE scandal after 9/11 because they collected millions of dollars in donations and then did not disperse the funds. They came under the same fire after the earthquakes in Haiti. collecting millions of dollars worth of donations, giving out less then 10%. Now I have not followed those scandals to the end but I do remember the outcry especially since some people were complaining that the red cross was charging relief workers for cups of coffee. But that's moot, my point is there is no full proof way to ensure that the money you give is doing what you want.

The Salvation Army is not a charity, it is an evangelical Christian church. If you give them money, they can pretty much do what they want with it.

 

[Jedana]

Oh gosh, I hope it wasn't me with all the medical bills/ disability woes I've been having - I really am just venting!

Us also.

 

[BeachLove]

While on the topic of giving, has anyone used the grant a wish program? Are backgrounds checked on the people posting or how's it work? I'm very interested in this instead of my usual Angel Tree donations. (I'll still keep donating food/clothing to the shelters. )

 

[eliza61]

The Salvation Army is not a charity, it is an evangelical Christian church. If you give them money, they can pretty much do what they want with it.

See there you go. I did not know this so once again, if I have to them, it could be a 50:50 shot that they use the money in a way that I would wish.
In the end, give if your heat moves you and do the best you can with the information you have. If some one has a woe is me tale, do what you feel is good. As for me, the price of a doll isn't going to cause me to paint everyone as scammers.

 

[Lewisc]

A homeless person can beg and we can give that person a few dollars (more if we want). I'll occasionally give a few dollars.

The issue isn't who you give money to. The issue is board rules. DIS doesn't allow "begging and giving".

The issue is with posters who try to circumvent the rules making work for volunteer moderators. Maybe people who think they'll get a few dollars in "contributions" before a moderator gets around to deleting the posts.

I suspect at least one purpose is to avoid the question if a person really needs money, is exaggerating, lying and the long accusatory threads which result.

The concept is very simple. DIS has clear rules. Hit the button and report the post to the moderators. No reason to engage in debate. No reason to ignore the post and possibly let people get scammed.

Amen and Well said
I never understand why folks here get bent out of shape with what other posters do with THEIR money. Some one post a story, another dissers says the story sounds fishy, thread goes off into a tangent and usually turns nasty by page 4. Don't get it.

It's a simple concept.

Poster puts out a sad story. You either feel moved to help them or you do not. I assume every one here is a grown adult that obtained their funds legally. If they want to pile their money in a big ole leaf pile and burn it, hooray for them. If some one felt driven to donate a doll, kudos to them.

If you feel compelled to help some one, I also assume it gives you a good feeling. Have at it. I get this argument when I give a buck or two to a homeless person. some one is always pointing out that they are going to use the money on drugs or liquor, which I always reply "so what"?

I also don't understand the habit of stalking posters and digging up century old threads, but hey that's me.

As long as it does not break any dis rule infractions and the mods are happy with it, you know what sob story away.

 

[eliza61]

Not a debate for me, I've never once in all the time here had anyone ask me for donations. from what others have said even "Doll" lady did not ask, people did that all on their own. I have read folks experiencing hard times, so if I choose to offer my assistance, I do privately. No harm, no foul

 

[GoofyIsMyHomeboy]

Not a debate for me, I've never once in all the time here had anyone ask me for donations. from what others have said even "Doll" lady did not ask, people did that all on their own. I have read folks experiencing hard times, so if I choose to offer my assistance, I do privately. No harm, no foul

Which is likely why the thread is a warning to be wary of hard luck stories posted here and not a warning to be wary of people asking for money.

If you don't mind being taken advantage of that is, of course, your right. I would rather spend my money in other ways.

 

[eliza61]

Which is likely why the thread is a warning to be wary of hard luck stories posted here and not a warning to be wary of people asking for money.

If you don't mind being taken advantage of that is, of course, your right. I would rather spend my money in other ways.

Lol, and that's would be cool but you just assumed I'm being con ed. How do you know? I may actually be helping.

 

[GoofyIsMyHomeboy]

Lol, and that's would be cool but you just assumed I'm being con ed. How do you know? I may actually be helping.

No, I didn't. You really like to argue, don't you?

Unfortunately, I do not. I believe your core argument was that you should be allowed to spend your money as you wish. i completely agree and would like to forward you my paypall number.

 

[brunette8706]

The Salvation Army is not a charity, it is an evangelical Christian church. If you give them money, they can pretty much do what they want with it.

*
It's not a charity? Are you serious?

 

[brunette8706]

Do people really give monetary donations to posters on this forum?

 

[TheRustyScupper]

Just a warning that you should never send any poster on these boards cash or gifts.

1) You had to bring this up at this time !
2) You couldn't wait until I told my tales of woe . . .
. . . my ingrown nail makes me buy an ECV, so I need cash contributions
. . . my mother's aunt's cousin's cat is sick and I need vet cash contributions
. . . my car is too big and gets bad mileage, so I need gas cash contributions
. . . my eyes squint at my 55" TV, so I need 60" LED 3-D cash contributions
3) Send lots of untraceable bills to TheRustyScupper, Orlando, FL.

 

[timmac]

If I recall correctly, she posted that she couldn't afford presents from Santa and her DD wanted an AG doll so some nice DISer sent one to her. Shortly after that she started a thread asking how best to sell an AG doll. It's been a couple of years, so I'm fuzzy on the details and the threads may have been poofed.

There was a somewhat similar incident of someone asking for advice on selling Gymboree clothes on eBay... until someone pointed out their post from a few weeks prior begging for any unused Gymbucks codes from other members.

Sadly, this stuff happens from time to time on the Dis.

 

[furb & dez]

*
It's not a charity? Are you serious?

Indeed.

The Salvation Army is exempt under Internal Revenue Code from filing Form 990 as a "church or convention or association of churches."

The Salvation Army is a Christian denomination...

 

[Burnedout]

Otoh, the Salvation Army has been rated well with the charity watch groups. They've given their financials when they didn't have to.

We had fires rage through town a few years ago and they were the only group that actually gave useful help, cots, food, and entertainment for the kids in the residential treatment facility where I was working.

 

[eliza61]

No, I didn't. You really like to argue, don't you?

Unfortunately, I do not. I believe your core argument was that you should be allowed to spend your money as you wish. i completely agree and would like to forward you my paypall number.

I apologize goofy, I honestly did not consider it arguing. Yes I kinda of state my case but I thought that was the point of forums.

Any hoo, you are right that was my core argument. so let me close by saying.

1) I like to think of myself as a generous soul. I'm sure there has been a time or two where some homeless person did use my money for drugs but I'm also sure that there was a time or two where they brought themselves a sandwhich.

2) I never give more than I can comfortably afford so If every once in a while I get scammed, that's cool. I enjoy helping out. small price to pay for the reward I get.

3) The great thing about allowing anyone to ask or print a sob story is that I have complete ability to say no. Like for example, don't bother sending me your paypal number. See for me that was so very easy.

Happy donating folks.

 

[Mel522]

I apologize goofy, I honestly did not consider it arguing. Yes I kinda of state my case but I thought that was the point of forums.

Any hoo, you are right that was my core argument. so let me close by saying.

1) I like to think of myself as a generous soul. I'm sure there has been a time or two where some homeless person did use my money for drugs but I'm also sure that there was a time or two where they brought themselves a sandwhich.

2) I never give more than I can comfortably afford so If every once in a while I get scammed, that's cool. I enjoy helping out. small price to pay for the reward I get.

3) The great thing about allowing anyone to ask or print a sob story is that I have complete ability to say no. Like for example, don't bother sending me your paypal number. See for me that was so very easy.

Happy donating folks.

Had you given the money to your local homeless shelter, or donate food, you would not only have not been scammed, but fed many more people.

If you know the person you wish to donate money to, then go ahead. If the person is a complete stranger, then you are better off giving money to a reputable charity. And yes, that would require you do a little research into charities. I for one, like to give to people who truly need it, and I have a better chance of that being the case if I give to a reputable charity than some random stranger. But as you said, it is your money, you can do with it what you will.