wants to lock my kids in their bedrooms for the rest of their childhood!!!!!!

[lukenick1]

Anyone have kids who are constantly fighting??????? I cannot take it anymore! My New Years Resolution is to punish them more. I have 2 boys ages 7 & 9 and it's constant bickering and physical. I'm DONE!!!!! I see all the Mom's at the bus stop kissing their kids goodbye wishing them a good day, while I'm refereeing mine and anxious for them to leave. I hate sending them off to school mad!!!!!

 

[skmommy]

I am so in the same boat...only girl 7 and boy 9. Wow they can bicker constantly and it is so irritating. I finally told them that if they make me raise my voice they owe me $1. That has slowed it down some. I just get so tired of having to be on top of them all the time. What gets me is that they are really good kids overall, I think they really just like to "fight"... they aren't even mad at each other, it's just something to do. I think when they are teens I will need pharmaceuticals to live through it

 

[lukenick1]

I am so in the same boat...only girl 7 and boy 9. Wow they can bicker constantly and it is so irritating. I finally told them that if they make me raise my voice they owe me $1. That has slowed it down some. I just get so tired of having to be on top of them all the time. What gets me is that they are really good kids overall, I think they really just like to "fight"... they aren't even mad at each other, it's just something to do. I think when they are teens I will need pharmaceuticals to live through it

OMG.....Love it!!! I will use all the money I collect to go get a nice facial

 

[Momto4boys]

My resolution is to try to STOP yelling so much! LOL. If they aren't fighting they are telling on each other or the older ones are parenting the little ones. UGH! It's surprising that I don't drink more. Maybe I would if the youngest would stop nursing!!

 

[dawson5]

I had issues with mine last year (the then 12 and 14 yr olds). My husband has a fetish about keeping our driveway clear of snow and ice, so I sent them to the neighbors with shovels and ice scrapers. They spent the weekend clearing their ice and snow compacted driveway, free of charge. After that, all I had to do was mention that one of the neighbors needed their driveway cleared and they straightened up. This was during Christmas break and they were not allowed to get on video games until it was done. They thought once the snow was done they were free and clear, I threatened them with digging out dandelions--we have quite a few thanks to the neighbor not doing anything about theirs.

 

[MinnieLove]

twin 7 year old boys and a 16 year old girl! AMEN! Stop fighting I cant stand it!

I refuse to yell - I am just removing favorite toys, computer and TV time! Guess what I will not be a part in their bickering!

Today is a late Xmas present to me - they went back to school. And seriously I feeling like having a drink to celebrate.

And yes the 16 yr old fights as much as the twins!

 

[gillenkl]

I have bickerers here too - and I use writing as a punishment (which they hate doing). Something relevant to what they're doing wrong: such as writing "I will not fight with my sister" - 50 times. Complaining adds on 10 more times for each complaint. I have also put their video games in timeout for 4 hours. I have a friend who will make her children write an entire chapter from the Bible when her kids were really out of hand.

 

[DVCBELLE]

Mine are 7 and 9 and when they get along - they REALLY get along and are the best of friends but when they fight - it drives me crazy.

I could not wait for the bus to show up this morning. Last night at my DH was cracking up laughing when one of them mentioned how mean I was and I told them to suck it up and that I would pay for therapy when they needed it.

I do try to make them work it out but on a long break like Christmas it just wasn't happening. They lose whatever they are fighting over. Can't agree on a game - the Wii goes off, can't agree on a tv show -the tv goes off. My biggest problem with DS is that I will take something away and he says "I don't care" and moves onto something else - drives me crazy!!

 

[dyna]

Funny at 7 & 9 my DD's was planning on an off days every other day on days they was best friends no fighting an they would remind each other an stop fighting off days all they did was fight if they caught themselves not fighting they would remind each other to fight that it was off day.

Then came DD#3 when the older ones was 12 an 13 the middle DD's mission in life became to fight with baby sis when she was old enough to fight with. I never figured out what a 3 yr old an a 14 yr old could possibly have to fight about...it was more like having a 4 an 3 yr old than 14 an 3 yr olds.

 

[Shmily1]

I remember those days!!! I'm so sorry for all of you. I do remember sending them off to school then crying because I was a bad mama and couldn't stop them from bickering. Now they are 20 and 19 and they have withdrawals from missing each other when DS20 is at college. They do still argue some, but mostly they are good with each other. I haven't come home from work to find DD pinning him to the floor in quite a few years now!

My best advice is to not take it personal. It's not you that's bad, it's the ages they are at. They will get over it--if you can just let them live long enough!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I am glad that I am not alone. My kids can drive me crazy too. I honestly think that they look for things to fight about. My son will do or say something that will set the girls off, then it's a battle until I jump in. The girls can also be mean to him, without him ever even doing anything. My 12 year old is a cheerleader and she is VERY loud when she screams. Oh how I hate to hear "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!!!'' It sounds like a murderer is in there.

I tell you what has almost driven me to tears though, and that is the fighting just as we sit down to dinner. It happens almost every single day and I can't stand it any more, so I am going to try something new starting today. I think that they will be excused from the table until they can behave. Maybe that will work.

You would think that at the ages my kids are, they could just get along.

 

[anotherdismom]

DD9 & DS5 - they are soooo hot and cold and the bickering drives DH & me both nuts!!! Thanks for reminding me that we're not alone.... and for a few tips. (I could use a facial too!!! )

Happy New Year!

(P.S. We're starting a Peacemaker's series at church - I really hope it helps!!)

 

[GinnyEmma]

By blaming them for you raising your voice, you are reinforcing the idea that we can't control our own attitudes, which is really what we want them to do, isn't it?

When mine were little, they weren't allowed to play together unless they were being reasonably nice to one another. Not sweetish nice, but respectful.

 

[hulagirl87]

yet another reason I'm seriously thinking that DD might be an only child

 

[DisneyScraps]

Find their currency, what they dislike doing the most. If they have time to fight then they have time to....whatever you come up with.

Lisa

 

[GinnyEmma]

yet another reason I'm seriously thinking that DD might be an only child

Lol, that works too!

 

[Alexander]

12 and 4: The 4 y/o will scream and cry until he gets what he wants (I'm talking hours here). We can't stand to listen to him so the poor 12 y/o has to always sacrifice to shut up his brother. Apart they are amazingly wonderful kids. Together, oh my!

 

[sk!mom]

It takes a lot of patience and consistency to deal with siblings and teach them to get along.

What worked for us was...

first modeling our expectations. This means no yelling, nitpicking, or bickering for mom and dad either.

Next sitting down with the kids starting at 2.5/3 (as they were becoming rational) and giving them strategies for playing with others. "You agree on the game, movie, TV show or come up with a fair, calm way to decide." For instance, we watch what you want and then it's my turn- rock, paper, scissors- or we just seperate and do our own thing. If bickering or arguing started and I had to intervene then no one gets to play with the toy, use the TV, whatever. It helps for everyone to have somewhere to go when they do not feel like sharing, want to use their own things without a sibling getting in the way. My children are widely spaced so we made sure that we always had a place for DS to play video games without his younger sister walking in front of the TV.

If you get physical, then you were immediatly removed to your room until you calmed down and apologized. Of course, even after apologizing you still do not get what you wanted. This was further modeled by the fact that parents did not hit children in our house, either.

Honestly, by modeling a peaceful, no yelling, no physical altercations household both of my children never had a problem with getting physical with anyone. Even as young as 2.5 or 3, they could play with others without grabbing toys, hitting, etc... It just wasn't tolerated.

I will admit that the more children you have the harder it is. Although, my younger sister has 4 children, and her house is amazingly peaceful using the same principles.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

I recentl read this one and am thinking about trying it with my DS16 and DD11.

If they are fighting, they get sent to each others room. Neither one wants the sib set free in his/her room.

 

[Maddie2]

If they are fighting, they get sent to each others room. Neither one wants the sib set free in his/her room.

Ohhhh! Now that's a good one! I'll have to keep that one in mind with our kids - ages 16 & 13.

We let our kids have the wii, ps3, computer, tv and gameboy lites almost as much as they wanted over Christmas break and now we are ready for a break from all of them. Both kids know it and really, I think they are ready for it. As fun as all of the video games, etc are, they do tire of them.... eventually.

That, and on New Year's Eve when we were snowed in our house due to a blizzard, we sprang the surprise of a Disneyland trip at the end of January! Now they have every reason to behave ... and get their homework done prior to the trip.

Yes, we should have peace in the valley at our house for the next few weeks.