Want to send something to Lane's parent... But how???

[piccolopat]

Some of you are bashing a PP that is questioning why people want to donate to this family. Of course, this is a tragedy beyond what any family should ever experience. In the past, before the proliferation of things like GoFundMe, fund raising was done by the local community for families that had a financial need as a result of some issue - a fire, health issue, death in the family. Now we see fundraising for people anywhere, anytime. That's not a bad thing if one chooses to participate that way. One would expect that a family that can afford a week at the Grand Floridian might have the financial resources to get through something like this. Perhaps their preference would be for people to donate to a charity in the name of their son. Waiting until the family decides what is needed or wanted is probably the best at this time. Don't forget, there are 49 families of those massacred in Orlando that might have a financial need at this time also. Prayers for all involved.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

I don't get this either. I know people have good intentions and mean well. There is nothing or any amount of money that is going to make this family feel better about this tragic incident. There is only certain things this family needs and that is close loved ones and space away from the general public and media. The reality of this situation is not going to really hit them until they return home and the media circus stops and you are alone. Everyone wants to help and be there, but after a week or two and people return to their lives you are left alone to finally process how you move forward and how your life has completely changed forever. That is when the difficult part really begins. How do I know? Because I have buried two children.

So sorry for the loss of your two children. This post says it all. We all feel the need to help and wanting to do something for the family, but at this time they don't need it or want it. It has to be the last thing on their mind and they don't want to come home to a house full of stuffed animals or things they have no use for and would have to donate. They want to be with their family, protecting their daughter from this media, coming to terms with this horrific tragedy. They honestly could care less about money, stuffed animals or any other things people might want to send. They want to be alone and people need to respect that. It is hard to imagine what they are going through but they have asked for privacy. Posts like this one and the one asking how to show CM's support are well meaning, but make me think of one from the winter where someone took their used Disney stuff to brighten the day of kids they thought needed it (talking used clothes and toys). Know that is not what the OP of this thread is suggesting at all, but it was what that family did to make themselves feel good. Maybe to support the family pray for them, hug your kids and wait until this has settled---its been less than 24 hours since they knew for sure.

Micky28 prayers to you for your losses!

 

[Dismama2boys]

I think it's common to want to do something. You (the general you) have an intense reaction when thinking about this family's loss and the manner in which it happened. Many can imagine their very young children in this exact scenario. Most of us feel like it could have been us, and then feel guilty for being relieved that it wasn't us. We can't bring this child back, we can't comfort this family, we can't do much to help prevent tragedy in the future. We want to do something, to help their pain, to help our own pain, to not feel as helpless. There is little to do here other than donate money. I get it, and I think the sentiment is genuine and lovely. As pp's have said, it may not be needed or welcomed here. I think at some point the family will give guidance, as I'm sure there are many who want to do something for them. As hard as it is, I would either give to their church or wait until the family gives direction.

 

[Dentam]

Good grief. I think I need a break from the internet. It's sad how many miserable people there are in this world.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

Good grief. I think I need a break from the internet. It's sad how many miserable people there are in this world.

Someone asked for advice in giving to the Graves family. Many people said wait. That makes people miserable? No, it makes them smart so the money doesn't go to a scammer or caring because they are respecting the wishes of the family.

 

[mmafan]

Yes you can. Unfortunately, your comments just reflect poorly on you.

how??????because what I said is true????and it offends people oh well you have your opinion as do I that what these boards are about....

 

[mmafan]

You are correct, it's your right to choose to be whatever kind of person you'd like to be...congratulations.

thanks.....congrats on being you....

 

[DVCcurious]

You're saying it's a politically correct fad to support a family whose toddler was snatched and drowned by an alligator? The logic escapes me. Seems like it's a trend to bash PC trends, even when illogical.

That's not what I'm saying at all. You have the cause and effect backwards. It's not "it's a PC thing to care" rather it's "you care because caring is pc". In the first case you'd care regardless of the pc-ness. In the second case you ONLY care because it's PC to care.

I'm saying people like to pretend to care about the latest public cause but they don't "really" care about that issue. In this case families lose young children to accidents regularly and how many people were looking to donate money to this cause last weekend vs today?

My oldest sister died of cancer at 7 years old and nobody gave a rats *** for my grieving family. Where were you then? Maybe if she was on the news you would have cared. But she wasn't, so you don't.

The Simpson's episide "Radio Bart" really captured this dynamic.

Homer: That Timmy is a real hero
Lisa: How do you mean, dad?
Homer: He got stuck in a well
Lisa: How does that make him a hero
Homer: Well it's more than you've ever done



Do you want to make a real difference? Buy some balloons and stuffed animals and head to the cancer ward of the nearest Children's Hospital. Meet kids like my sister. Make a difference to several families. But I'll warn you that's a lot harder than tweeting some faux empathy for one kid's family.

 

[BayouQueen]

My guess is that some type of memorial fund will be set up in memory of Lane, perhaps a scholarship fund or for a children's charity. It could be a meaningful donation. I'll be watching for that.

 

[lovethattink]

Please remember to keep the thread friendly and stay within DIS posting guidelines. The guidelines can be found with this link http://www.wdwinfo.com/guidelines.htm

 

[Shoshana]

That's not what I'm saying at all. You have the cause and effect backwards. It's not "it's a PC thing to care" rather it's "you care because caring is pc". In the first case you'd care regardless of the pc-ness. In the second case you ONLY care because it's PC to care.

I'm saying people like to pretend to care about the latest public cause but they don't "really" care about that issue. In this case families lose young children to accidents regularly and how many people were looking to donate money to this cause last weekend vs today?

My oldest sister died of cancer at 7 years old and nobody gave a rats *** for my grieving family. Where were you then? Maybe if she was on the news you would have cared. But she wasn't, so you don't.


Do you want to make a real difference? Buy some balloons and stuffed animals and head to the cancer ward of the nearest Children's Hospital. Meet kids like my sister. Make a difference to several families. But I'll warn you that's a lot harder than tweeting some faux empathy for one kid's family.

I also lost a sister at age 3 to leukemia. With no news coverage, people still helped my parents, but I only see tangential relevance to the OP.

Since we're not mind readers, no one truly knows whether another person "really cares" about any issue and I'm pretty sure that most people don't need advise about how to make a "real difference." We all choose to do what we're able and willing to do based on our resources. If people reach out to this family, whether or not they were helping others simultaneously, it would be erroneous to assume that their altruism and charity was not making a "real difference." Finally, ALL altruistic acts involve a benefit to the actor - and that benefit is that it feels good to help. I still find your PC judgment to be faulty. Although our world views are, apparently, quite different, it's not necessary to cast aspersions on those differences.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

I decide to delete what I had said because the points aren't worth it or being banned. If it makes some feel good donating right away more power to you. I think of a Dana Carvey SNL character and her voice about being special right now when I see those posts. Think respecting the family wishes and giving privacy is more important than trying to make yourself feel better.

 

[luvthemouse71]

The church website did say that it was acceptable to donate through them, per the family.

Empathy and compassion are good things. There will always be those who have something to say about others trying to do good in the world. I pray for those people and do what I feel is the right thing.

 

[luvthemouse71]

We recently lost my dad to lung cancer in October 2015. What got us through it was the support and prayers of our family, friends, coworkers and community. Some bought Mass intentions for him or made a donation in his name, which is what the family wishes, according to the church website. Might seem like that doesn't help people, but trust me, it does. It proves that we aren't alone.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

Think it's the holier than though attitude that some are displaying thatis the root of the differing of opinions. Think everyone wants to do what they can but some say wait, others say do now. One choice is not better than the other, and nobody should be belittled for a differing opinions. Think the well I was the first to support attitude is what is off putting and the I'll pray for those who don't agree with me attitude.

Money given today is no different than money given 4 weeks from now, prayers for family from someone giving today are no different than prayers from people given 4 weeks from now. The attitudes of those proclaiming to be better people is what is disheartening.

Saw someone wanted to place a candle and flowers at the GF. Thoughtful yes, but probably not in the best interest. Social media can be good and bad. This family wants peace and privacy not to be all over. I can't imagine what the town is going through and what it will be like when they try to return home. People trying to make themselves feel better at this time might have good intentions but maybe need to wait.

To each their own but the I am better because I attitude and I will pray for you because you are so bad because you didn't is sickening.

 

[zoo2tycoon]

oops double post

 

[gk90]

I thought I had posted this last night but don't see it?

Anyway, FYI the Graves's church, St Patrick's Catholic Church in Elkhorn NE, has a notice on its webpage that "Donations, Memorials or Mass Intentions in Lane Graves' name can be made to St. Patrick's Parish via mail, dropped off or the link below. Funds received will be given to the family."

The church website also says that the family is requesting privacy.
It looks like a long established and legitimate church and I wouldn't be concerned about it being a scam.

However for people who aren't comfortable with churches, another way to get something to the family would be via the husband's workplace.
According to omaha.com,
"Matt Graves is the chief data officer for InfoGroup, a marketing company based in Papillion, according to the business’s website.
Graves is a member of the Greater Omaha Chamber of Commerce board of directors."

Hoping that this is helpful and sending good thoughts for the Graves family and all who are concerned for them.

 

[yawns]

I hope it is okay to post this here. This is a link to an Omaha TV station's story on what is being done locally for the Graves family. At the very end of the story is the link to the GoFundMe site for the family. You may have to copy & paste the link into a new window or tab to see it. I live in Nebraska and I can tell you that Nebraskans are all quite upset over this tragic incident.
http://www.ketv.com/news/elkhorn-om...m_medium=FBPAGE&utm_campaign=KETV NewsWatch 7