Walking a dog in a cemetery

[FlightlessDuck]

I took my dad to visit my mom's grave last week on the anniversary of her passing. My dad's girlfriend waited in the car

This is kind of messed up, actually.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think cemeteries are huge wastes of space, especially in areas where open space is at a premium. I’d prefer a multi use space, cemetery/park/playground. My dad’s side of the family has a family plot in Brooklyn. The last one was buried in the 1980’s. I recently read an article that NYC cemeteries are starting to remove older graves to make room for new ones. I found the deed and sent it to my dad’s brother, since these are his parents and great grandparents.

 

[tvguy]

Not sure I would be worried about a dog peeing on my grave. Now, the gophers that are burrowing through my plot, THAT may worry me.

 

[rlk]

If you think walking a dog in a cemetery is "top" crazy you don't spend enough time on the forum.

I think your issue is with your father's girlfriend.

I wouldn't have let the dog pee "on" a tombstone, but I agree with others here, many cemeteries are beautiful and feature walking trails.
I am no psychiatrist, but it seems like visiting your mom's grave and having your dad's g/f there is the real issue. Best wishes dealing with this, but remember your dad is dealing with it, too.

I quoted these posts because you are all correct about my issues with my father's girlfriend. I was using this forum to vent my frustrations. Taking her with us to the cemetery wasn't ideal, but I agreed because my dad wanted to visit my mom's(his wife's) gravesite on the 11th anniversary of her passing. She was along because I was dropping them off somewhere after the cemetery. It was a 40-minute drive to the cemetery, plus a brief 10-minute visit at the gravesite; no reason for the dog to need to go for a walk.

This woman is crazy, but my father is living with her and they have a life together, so I try to keep the peace because I want to maintain a relationship with my dad. I do this by not engaging with her very often. Taking my dad to the cemetery was the first time in 6 months I had contact with this woman. She has done some bizarre things, such as when she took an old photo of my parents and pasted her face over my mom's face.

I should add that my father is not an easy person to deal with either, so I am also grateful that he and his girlfriend are together. Even with all the drama they bring, my dad is seemingly happy.

 

[MrsDuck]

The only issue I have is that the dog was peeing on a headstone. But really, I don't think even that is that big of a deal.

 

[Floridaman999]

I'd imagine there are lots of wild animals doing much, much worse every day in the cemetery.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I'd imagine there are lots of wild animals doing much, much worse every day in the cemetery.

Those darn Foxes!

Missing line: "Oh, is that what you were extending?"

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I quoted these posts because you are all correct about my issues with my father's girlfriend. I was using this forum to vent my frustrations. Taking her with us to the cemetery wasn't ideal, but I agreed because my dad wanted to visit my mom's(his wife's) gravesite on the 11th anniversary of her passing. She was along because I was dropping them off somewhere after the cemetery. It was a 40-minute drive to the cemetery, plus a brief 10-minute visit at the gravesite; no reason for the dog to need to go for a walk.

This woman is crazy, but my father is living with her and they have a life together, so I try to keep the peace because I want to maintain a relationship with my dad. I do this by not engaging with her very often. Taking my dad to the cemetery was the first time in 6 months I had contact with this woman. She has done some bizarre things, such as when she took an old photo of my parents and pasted her face over my mom's face.


I should add that my father is not an easy person to deal with either, so I am also grateful that he and his girlfriend are together. Even with all the drama they bring, my dad is seemingly happy.

I'd imagine there are lots of wild animals doing much, much worse every day in the cemetery.

I did consider that, too. Somehow, though, it seems different when you have a dog on a leash and can control its movements.

 

[ronandannette]

I quoted these posts because you are all correct about my issues with my father's girlfriend. I was using this forum to vent my frustrations. Taking her with us to the cemetery wasn't ideal, but I agreed because my dad wanted to visit my mom's(his wife's) gravesite on the 11th anniversary of her passing. She was along because I was dropping them off somewhere after the cemetery. It was a 40-minute drive to the cemetery, plus a brief 10-minute visit at the gravesite; no reason for the dog to need to go for a walk.

This woman is crazy, but my father is living with her and they have a life together, so I try to keep the peace because I want to maintain a relationship with my dad. I do this by not engaging with her very often. Taking my dad to the cemetery was the first time in 6 months I had contact with this woman. She has done some bizarre things, such as when she took an old photo of my parents and pasted her face over my mom's face.

I should add that my father is not an easy person to deal with either, so I am also grateful that he and his girlfriend are together. Even with all the drama they bring, my dad is seemingly happy.

I "liked" your post not because the story is likable but just to offer a little . Hang in there. As you have already sadly experienced, parents aren't with us forever. I don't think you'll regret doing your part to keep the peace.

 

[Floridaman999]

I did consider that, too. Somehow, though, it seems different when you have a dog on a leash and can control its movements.

Yeah, I get that too I suppose. I think the issue involved much more than a dog doing its duty though if I had to guess.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

She has done some bizarre things, such as when she took an old photo of my parents and pasted her face over my mom's face.

 

[cabanafrau]

I quoted these posts because you are all correct about my issues with my father's girlfriend. I was using this forum to vent my frustrations. Taking her with us to the cemetery wasn't ideal, but I agreed because my dad wanted to visit my mom's(his wife's) gravesite on the 11th anniversary of her passing. She was along because I was dropping them off somewhere after the cemetery. It was a 40-minute drive to the cemetery, plus a brief 10-minute visit at the gravesite; no reason for the dog to need to go for a walk.

This woman is crazy, but my father is living with her and they have a life together, so I try to keep the peace because I want to maintain a relationship with my dad. I do this by not engaging with her very often. Taking my dad to the cemetery was the first time in 6 months I had contact with this woman. She has done some bizarre things, such as when she took an old photo of my parents and pasted her face over my mom's face.

I should add that my father is not an easy person to deal with either, so I am also grateful that he and his girlfriend are together. Even with all the drama they bring, my dad is seemingly happy.

Hang onto the big picture perspective and continue to maintain the balance between the idea that your father needs to seek out his own happiness and you want to have a relationship with him. Try to keep your focus on those ideas and look at everything else as small stuff not worthy of weighing you down. So much easier said than done, but in the end you will be the one getting the benefit out of how you shape your perspective.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Yeah, I get that too I suppose. I think the issue involved much more than a dog doing its duty though if I had to guess.

True

 

[aprilgail]

Totally disrespectful. Our cemeteries have "no dogs allowed" signs on them.

 

[John VN]

I am just venting because nothing will change. I took my dad to visit my mom's grave last week on the anniversary of her passing. My dad's girlfriend waited in the car with her dog while we visited the grave. We get back to the car and the girlfriend and dog are gone. I looked around and to my horror, she was letting the dog pee on a gravestone.

I told her that was awful and disrespectful, but she just said that her dog was upset we left the car. Just when I think this woman can't do anything to top her crazy, she finds a way. I spoke with my dad and said he's sure she had he dog pee between the graves. What!!

Went to EYE DOCTOR yesterday and sitting in the chair opposite me ........ YUP, A DOG ????????

 

[rlk]

I'd imagine there are lots of wild animals doing much, much worse every day in the cemetery.

I understand about wild animals as well as walking dogs in certain cemeteries. This was a cemetery that does not allow dogs to be walked on or off leash. I don't know if you know that Jewish Cemeteries are not open to the public for casual strolling, picnicking or dogs.

 

[Floridaman999]

I understand about wild animals as well as walking dogs in certain cemeteries. This was a cemetery that does not allow dogs to be walked on or off leash. I don't know if you know that Jewish Cemeteries are not open to the public for casual strolling, picnicking or dogs.

No, I really don't have any experience with Jewish Cemeteries in particular. It appears that what she did was not correct based on those particular rules. Sorry you had to experience that.

 

[rlk]

Hang onto the big picture perspective and continue to maintain the balance between the idea that your father needs to seek out his own happiness and you want to have a relationship with him. Try to keep your focus on those ideas and look at everything else as small stuff not worthy of weighing you down. So much easier said than done, but in the end you will be the one getting the benefit out of how you shape your perspective.

Yes! That is why I went along with bringing the girlfriend in the first place. I shut out all the other craziness because it doesn't matter to me. The cemetery incident, that I witnessed did cause me to get angry. I came here to vent so that I could let it go.

 

[rlk]

No, I really don't have any experience with Jewish Cemeteries in particular. It appears that what she did was not correct based on those particular rules. Sorry you had to experience that.

That's what I really enjoy about this forum. I learned that unlike Jewish Cemeteries, other types are open to enjoy a picnic or walk.

 

[cabanafrau]

Yes! That is why I went along with bringing the girlfriend in the first place. I shut out all the other craziness because it doesn't matter to me. The cemetery incident, that I witnessed did cause me to get angry. I came here to vent so that I could let it go.

If it makes you feel a little better, the worst scenario would have been the loved ones of the person whose grave the dog relieved himself on witnessing it. Comfort yourself with the idea that they did not, and hopefully a rain shower makes sure they never have any idea. If they can be blissfully ignorant, there's no need for you to carry around any upset. If nobody's being hurt by it, don't hurt yourself over it.