w00t! He's all OURS!('nother update pg 2!!!)

[TheOtherVillainess]

Well..technically he belongs to DSIL and her DH, but...as of Tues, LittleBitty (the boy they were attempting to adopt) is all theirs! The biological mother had already terminated her rights, as she is a college student and knew that having a kid now wasn't exactly the best thing for her or the baby. The biological father,though, was being somewhat a jerk. He'd been told a month ago that he should really consider giving up his parental rights as soon as possible and the lawyers didn't hear from him one month from the date they talked to him (this past Tues),his rights would be terminated. Bio Father said at first he didn't want to give up his rights because it was his child and he wanted to keep it. But it was proved he would be unable to keep it because he's an 18 year old kid who JUST got into Navy bootcamp and his parents (for whatever reason) wanted nothing to do with the baby. I was told that t he parents were extremely unwilling to help their son with this problem and he didn't want to get out of the Navy to take care of the child. He ceased communicating with the lawyers and when his one-month date passed with no further objections to giving up his rights, his rights were terminated. So now DSIL and her DH can legally adopt LittleBitty! w00t! Since they are going to adopt him, now DH and I can go see him in the hospital. DMIL and DFIL saw him for the first time yesterday and they said compared to our DS, he is teenyweeny. Which, of course, makes total sense considering LittleBitty was born 13 wks early.

TOV

 

[aunt lissa]

Congrats!!!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Thanks. I know DSIL is glad this whole parental rights battle is over. She and her DH really really wanted LittleBitty and couldn't wait for the father to give up his rights. Now we know for sure that he's coming home with them when they release him from the hospital in late June or early July (when he was actually due). And I'm glad to know they're actually getting him because that's what DSIL wanted and it would've broken her heart if the adoption had fallen through for some reason. Even before he was born, DSIL was in contact with the birth mother and we were falling in love with a child not even born yet (just as we did with DS). Now we know for sure that he is going to be part of our family and it really makes me happy to know that.

TOV

 

[avdeane]

Congratulations to all of you!!! What wonderful news!!!

 

[Microcell]

I love to hear the love in your post!! My MIL has a thing about blood relations that makes me really mad! My kids are the blood relations she is so much more fond of. She always says she can't help it, they are closer to her heart. My neice and nephews are all adopted by her daughter and I forget they are even adopted. I love them so much. They are great. Congrats to you and I hope your attitude rubs of in a pixie dust kind of way to my in laws!

 

[hockeymom7691]

Hurray!! That's wonderful news! Congratulations to all of you!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

We don't care where the kids come from, as long as they are loved.

DSIL knew from the beginning she wanted to adopt and was planning on going to Russia or China or someplace like that when LittleBitty kind of fell into her and her DH's lap.

We are going to see him for the first time on Weds night. I can't wait. We can't bring DS in (for health reasons),even though I'd love to to make a size comparision. The other day, DMIL showed us one of LittleBitty's preemie diapers compared to one of DS's normal size 2 diapers. Those preemie diapers are teeny! It took like 3 of them to make up one of DS's diapers!

DMIL also emailed us a picture she took the other day when she first got to see LittleBitty in person. He's starting to look more like a person and less like something from Aliens, thank goodness.

TOV

 

[shortbun]

That's wonderful!

 

[Doesney]

Originally posted by TheOtherVillainess
He's starting to look more like a person and less like something from Aliens, thank goodness. TOV

 

[treesinger]

Congrats! I hope you all have a long happy life together!

 

[CRB#33]

Congratulations on your DSIL and DB's new addition! That's wonderful for them!

However, I wouldn't be too hard on the birth dad. It had to be very difficult to come to a decision about never seeing his child. And maybe not hearing from him at all was the only way he could cope with it.

Have a wonderful time with your new nephew

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Congratulations, Auntie TOV!

Lori

 

[Pooh67_68]

Congratulations to your SIL and her DH, that is great news.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Originally posted by Doesney

Some of the first pictures we ever saw of him (when he was just born back in April...13 wks early)he looked like some wierd alien out of a sci-fi movie. Which, of course, was appropriate considering he was only 27 wks old at the time and not ready to be born yet. For reasons unknown to us or the drs who attended to the birth mom, they couldn't delay the labor. They tried and kept it off for two days before she gave birth. I have to wonder if this is due to her poor medical care prior to giving birth. According to what DSIL has told us, the birth mother didn't even see an OB until she was nearly 5 mos pregnant. I think that had to do with her financial status and the fact she was on Medicare. Or something.

Anyway..I am so about going to see LittleBitty. Ever since DSIL told us they were adopting him, I've been and totally excited for her because now she's going to get to experience what it's like to be a mom. I'll be even more excited for her once they get to bring him home in July. Her heart's already been through the ringer with him,poor gal.

TOV

 

[Microcell]

April is a good month to be born! He knew a good time when he saw it! I am still happy for you! You an do a countdown timer if you want!

 

[gottaluvPluto]

Congrats on becoming an Aunt. I work with young pregnant moms and most of them don't go to the doctor because they are in denial about the pregnancy not because of medicaid. Low income pregnant moms can easly get on Medicaid and go to the doctor wihtin the first 11 weeks. Anyhow, congrats on becoming an aunt.

 

[CEDmom]

Congratulations Being the mother of an adopted child myself it really touches my heart everytime I hear of another family's dream coming true by adopting. Sending best wishes and PD to all of you. I bet your DS and his new cousin will have many years of fun together.

 

[Tina]

Wow! That is so exciting. Congratulations to your family. I can't help but feel for the birth father. It sounds like his heart was in the right place, but he doesn't have the means or support to take action. Perhaps some day, when everyone is a bit of older, he could be a part of that child's life in some way. Maybe then he could see that the adoption was the best choice for the child and appreciate your family's actions.

 

[Claudia1]

Congrats! As a mother of 2 adopted kids, I understand the emotions. We had 2 failed adoptions between our two kids and that is very, very hard. Too bad they were not able to get the dad in the loop when they contracted with the mother.

I would also caution you to not be too hard on the dad. In fact, I would write down some of the positive details in cause the child needs to know later in life. Of our 2 kids, only one wonders "why they left me" and it is not due to anything we have said. Some kids are just more sensitive to the fact. In our case, we make sure to let them know that the birthparents did everything they could to provide for them, including finding them a family that loved them. In your case, it could be a comfort for them to know that the dad really, really cared but was not able to provide a home.

Having been thru these conversations, I know that it does help some kids to understand that they were loved by a biological parent and not just a burden or problem to be dealt with. With one of ours, we have a story of love to share. With the other, we don't. Thankfully, the child that has felt the void is the one that has the better history!.

I am sending you my very sincere and joyful congratulations on the newest member of your family. Very wonderful news!!!!

 

[aprilgail2]

Originally posted by Claudia1

I would also caution you to not be too hard on the dad. In fact, I would write down some of the positive details in cause the child needs to know later in life. Of our 2 kids, only one wonders "why they left me" and it is not due to anything we have said. Some kids are just more sensitive to the fact. In our case, we make sure to let them know that the birthparents did everything they could to provide for them, including finding them a family that loved them. In your case, it could be a comfort for them to know that the dad really, really cared but was not able to provide a home.

As an adoptee growing up I never voiced my feelings over being adopted to my parents and they thought all the time I was OK with it...it wasn't until I got older (like 16 or so) that I finally voiced my feelings. Eventually I found my birth parents and it was the best thing I ever did....it gave me some closure in my life about it....gave me medical history and reasons. I needed that, not all adoptees do but I did. I would never ever change a thing about my life that is for sure, I had an awesome life with my parents who adopted me but I do wish I had the birth parent info at hand for me to deal with earlier (it took me until Iwas 33 or so to search them out).
I have one child that I had 4 years ago and I would love to at some point adopt another one.
Congrats on the new addition to your family.