Vow renewal...when?

[Sorahana]

So I'm really thinking about DH and I doing a vow renewal (hopefully) either at the 5 or 10 year mark.

Long story short, my mom planned our wedding and a lot of what was in the wedding was what my mom wanted (she also paid for a lot of it), stuff I wanted wasn't "appropriate" or formal enough, etc so I'd love to do a vow renewal where it's how I want it and would have done it originally.

I would LOVE to do it at Disney or Castaway Cay but it would be a smaller ceremony than our wedding (just immediate family and friends that want to come).

When do people normally do a vow renewal? I was thinking the 5 year mark would be nice, which would be 2016, because we'll actually have been together for 10 years in 2015. I know either 5 or 10 yr mark are popular but what do most people do?

 

[sambycat]

if we ever do an actual vow renewal, i’ll probably pick a nice round number like 10 years or something! that said, people do them on any anniversary - mostly for the reasons you mentioned - a special do over more in keeping with their wants. happy planning!

 

[lurkyloo]

We did ours at 5 years, mostly because goodness only knows how wrinkly I'll be by our 10th anniversary! I did feel like I had to explain to people why we were doing one so soon, but it was so much fun that I got over my self-consciousness pretty quickly. So I say, do one when YOU want to!

 

[jac1976]

We are doing ours at 10 years, but the number wasn't as important to me as the experiences and feelings that led us to choose to renew our vows.

We have survived multiple deployments and last year DH was selected for promotion basically guaranteeing he can stay in the military until he retires. I am not thrilled with his choice to stay in (although I do respect it) and to be honest, our life together has been so different than what I thought I was agreeing to 10 years ago, this is my way of basically saying that even if I knew then what I know now (how much deployments suck, how many life events he would miss out on, how any plans I had would always be second to the Navy) I would still pledge my life to my husband.

I think you should do the renewal when you feel the time is right.

 

[jaslbn]

Hi, first post, we are coming up on 24 and think we are going to renew our vows next year before we have our 25th year. We got married younger than most and neither one of us had a real good ideal of what we wanted now we have children and we all love disney and think it would be a great choice for us. Now we just have to decide were. It comes down to when you feel it is the right time.

 

[Alexsandra]

We are doing ours at 10 years, but the number wasn't as important to me as the experiences and feelings that led us to choose to renew our vows. We have survived multiple deployments and last year DH was selected for promotion basically guaranteeing he can stay in the military until he retires. I am not thrilled with his choice to stay in (although I do respect it) and to be honest, our life together has been so different than what I thought I was agreeing to 10 years ago, this is my way of basically saying that even if I knew then what I know now (how much deployments suck, how many life events he would miss out on, how any plans I had would always be second to the Navy) I would still pledge my life to my husband. I think you should do the renewal when you feel the time is right.

Wow, your story touched me to the core. How beautiful! I wish you both a beautiful renewal.

As for the poster, I agree, just do it when it feels right to you!

 

[Ember]

I think as long as it is just the two of you (or the two of you and your kids), it doesn't matter when you renew your vows! :good vibes As mentioned, you may feel self-conscious about telling people about a renewal for fear of their reactions, but if it brings you joy and happiness, then good on you!

When it involves guests, that's a bit of a different thing. Asking guests to come to a vow renewal, when they attended your wedding just a few years earlier, can be resented. It can come off as attention or gift seeking, even if that's not your intention in the slightest.

My DH has mentioned a vow renewal a few times, but it's just nothing something I feel comfortable with. As long as you both are on board, go for it!