"Visiting" in the hospital...

[laurie31]

This same lady went into our private breakroom later in the shift, and proceeded to grab 3 slices of the Pizza we all went in on...2 for her & 1 for her DH who had just had a massive MI the day before. Needless to say the charge nurse had to have a talk with her & she told the Dr. the next day that we were "snippy".

We need to start a new threat about obnoxious visitors! Holy cow - nosing around to see if your patient had died is pretty crass, but stealing your dinner! That's why we got keypad locks on the breakroom! It's unbelievable what some people will do!

Laurie

 

[ilovepcot]

As a former labor and delivery nurse who also worked maternity floor, I echo all that DisneyDoll said. Visitors cause soooo many problems and are never aware they're doing it. I realize their intentions are the best, BUT....

 

[lecach]

After my experience when DS was born by csection I would never visit someone after they gave birth unless invited. I got to the hospital early for my csection with my Mom and DH. Shortly after my MIL, FIL, BIL, DH's great and uncle arrived. They stayed ALL DAY. Until like 6 p.m. It was AWFUL. I had just had major surgery for gosh sakes. They fully believe that if someone is in the hospital they need to be there and camp out. They left the room whenever I had a dr. or nurse do something to me. And when I breastfed. But other than that they would not leave. And then they came to our house at least every other day - sometimes every day - for several weeks. If I have another I am going to make a rule that visits should be no longer than 1-2 hours once a day while in the hospital and for the first few weeks after. AND once I get home visitors are only allowed every other day - to give us at least some days without people all over us.

In my inlaws defense I know they believe they are being supportive and all. They just dont fully realize that I dont like visitors period - especially in the hospital.

 

[Arielle22]

My dd's are 10 and 12. My entire family visited me (at the same time) in the hospital. I have 7 siblings and at that point there were 5 spouses, 2 nieces and my mom plus my best friend(my dad and fil are deceased). Then dh's family visited. He has 1 db,dsil, a niece and a nephew.

In October my sister was hospitalized at the end of her pregnancy. We sisters went to keep her company. We are a pretty blunt family so when she said I'm tired get out, we left without complaint. When my handsome nephew was born the entire family visited again. Since my dds births we had lost my mom but gained another sil plus 2 nieces (along with my 2 dds). The room was packed but that is how my family is, we are always with each other. My bil likes to joke that we are like the mafia, strongarming each other into attending functions.

I have 2 close friends outside my sisters and neither have children. However I would expect to visit them in the hospital unless they requested otherwise.

 

[pixiemomma]

I could not sleep at the hospital. It was the one time I absolutely wanted visitors. Hopefully my niece will be here for baby #3 and she can keep me company when DH can't be there. Of course it would stink if someone I didn't like decided to stay all day!

 

[urglewurgle]

if it was an immediate relative or best friend then i would ring and see how they were... and ask if i could visit/if they needed anything... and if you know someone well enough then you'd know if it was ok to go or not by their voice kwim?

Arielle22 - i don't think that's so "blunt", more honest... when it comes to family i don't think there's any point in being "over-polite"... PLUS... the what the patient needs/feels etc is surely the most important bit right? people who'd get annoyed at being (poiltely) told the patient was too tired for visitors to stick around for a long time needs to think less of themselves!

 

[DisneyJen0504]

I always ask permission before visiting someone and usually only visit if its close family or a close friend. I would never be offended if someone did not want visitors in the hospital.

Thats how I feel. Personally, I would not want all those people in my room after I have had a baby. For my baby's sake, and MINE!

 

[DisOrBust]

As a L&D RN this is my personal pet pieve!!!


If they know your in labor they will call right when you start to push and the phone rings off the hook!!

The Family who waits right outside the door as the women gives birth..yep I'm sure she wants you to hear all the details.

Tell them the Baby is here and visitors arrive within 2 hours..

They look at you like your growing horns when you ask to "wash your hands please!"

The baby will be gnawing its fist off but no one will leave to let mom breast feed.


PLEASE THE BABY IS JUST AS CUTE IN TWO DAYS!!!


Now getting off soapbox.....

 

[mickeyboat]

The baby will be gnawing its fist off but no one will leave to let mom breast feed.

Reminds me of Emily. She gave herself hickeys on her wrists while we were waiting for my milk to come in.

Denae

 

[liamsaunt]

I am guessing each hospital has its own policy on this issue. I don't remember there being any limitations on who could be in the room, not even in the Intensive Care Nursery.

Denae

At the hospital my Dsis used in Boston, we were allowed to visit her and the baby in the room (always called first, brought her what she needed, and never stayed long of course!). However, when my nephew was at the hospital nursery while she rested, I was not allowed to enter that nursery even though I was escorted by my BIL (Dsis's DH). I did not mind--you can never be too careful I guess, whether it be germs or security. My BIL was allowed in of course and held him up to the window--I could still see him through the glass, no big deal.

 

[Rachie0507]

I have visited my two best friends in the hospital after their babies. I waited until they gave me the okay before running up (just across town) and if I went up more than once I would call first.

When I was in the hospital, I loved visitors. I couldn't sleep during the day there anyway and I didn't want to be alone. I think with DD I had about 19 stop in over the two days. With DS, it was about 22! Our hospital was very welcoming to visitors and I'm glad it was that way.

Ultimately though, I think it is always best to check with the new mom to see if she even wants people there and what the hospital's policy is about it.

 

[Micca]

Except for IMMEDIATE family, or best friend, I think about 10-15 minutes is plenty for any hospital visit.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I had lots for my first baby (4th of July weekend). Not so much the second. I'm an extrovert and appreciate the visits.

So far locally--the ones who would have welcomed a visit when they had a baby...I was unable to go due to the sniffles .

 

[NCDisneyMom]

I've only visited someone one time. It was a very good friend of mine, who asked me to come. Dh and I got there, and there were so many people waiting to see her (family, other friends, etc.), and the hospital would only allow 2 people up at at time. Since I felt it was more important for her family to see her, I just wrote a note, and gave it to her Mom to bring up with the small gift I had gotten her at that time. I saw her, instead, after she brought the baby home.

Our hospital here has a middle-of-the-road policy on visitors. Children under a certain age (that I can't remember right now) are NOT allowed up, unless they are the sibling to the newborn (i.e. my ds, age 3 at the time, was allowed up after my daughter was born). The only ones who came to visit me either time were my parents, my in-laws, and my sister and bil. I was VERY nauseous after my dd birth, and they were all wonderful about it. If I started feeling ill, I would just tell them, and they would all vacate immediately (knowing that I really didn't want to be sick in front of them), and come back a little while later. Although they did all hang out for awhile, we had a very big room, and I did not mind them there at all. And, I know that if I wanted them out, I could tell them so, and they would not be at all offended.

The only other person I would consider visiting is my best friend (IF she has another baby ever). And, I know she would want me there.

 

[A4Disney]

Do you visit folks in the hospital? DSIL had a baby girl ( ) yesterday at 11:15 am. She lives 2 hours from her family and 3.5 hours from her husband's family. I had driven her mother to the hospital (she doesn't drive anywhere other than around our small town) to await the arrival of her grand daughter. The father's parents and 2 grown sisters arrived shortly after we did to wait with us.

Fast forward to last night around 7:15. I went back to the hospital after having gone back to DSIL's house for a shower, nap, & food to drop off her house keys and head back to my house (DMIL would be staying with her for a week). I walked into her room to find - DSIL, her husband, the baby, both grandmas, a cousin to the husband and her 8 yo son (whom BTW I observed picking his nose and wiping his "treasure" on the window seal) and her husband. Not 3 minutes after I got there, in came the great-grandmother and her husband, 2 of her sons with their wives and children (4 children total with them) an aunt of DBIL, and a neighbor to the great-grandmother - All to "visit" after this girl had given birth only 7 hours ago!

DSIL looked like a sheep caught up in a pack of wolves. And of course, everyone wanted to hold the baby. I made my exit, but not before, rather loudly, reminding her to try to take advantage of any opportunity to get as much rest as possible in the 24 hours she was allowed in the hospital.

I just could not believe all of these people would drive 3.5 hours to smother them like that. Family is a wonderful thing, but come on, give them a chance to breathe! After having 4 dd's myself, I wanted (and needed) those first 24 hours to handle all that I had just been given.

So, do you "visit" new moms in the hospital? Just curious.

I visit the new Mom(If she's a close friend or relative)but I would never bring my kids.

 

[SleepyMom]

So, do you "visit" new moms in the hospital? Just curious.

I can only think of two times I have done this, once in 1985 when my nephew was born and then to see a friend almost 3 years ago.

The friend though, I can honestly say I did not want to be there. She lives about 2 hours away and we just happened to be in town visiting that weekend. My girls and I had gone over the night before to see them and when we left she joked about if she hurried and had the baby overnight that we could see it before we left town. Well, 7 o'clock the next morning the phone in our hotel room rang and it was her DH telling us they had a baby girl, I thought he was teasing us, but it was true. She got on the phone and asked us to stop on our way out of town. I said no, several times, but she kept insisting. I told her we could stop in a few weeks when we would be back, but she really wanted us to come that day. I reminded her that the grandparents hadn't even been there yet and she still kept saying we had to come.

So, on the way out of town we made a quick stop, baby was about 4 hours old at that point. No relatives had been there yet, we were the first visitors. Did I also mention it was Mother's Day? The Mom and I are more like sisters than friends, but I still felt bad about being there first and intruding on Mother's Day, she of course told me to get over it and was thrilled that we did stop. So yes, I have visited a new Mom, but it wasn't my idea

 

[dcgrumpy]

I visit close friends and family and alwyas had visitors when each of my children were born. The visits usually don't last too long, drop off the gift and see the baby. I always seem to get stuck with at least 1 roommate who has 20 people visiting at a time and they stay there all day even after visiting hours end. I just love it when they overflow onto my side of the curtain.

 

[aprilgail2]

. I always seem to get stuck with at least 1 roommate who has 20 people visiting at a time and they stay there all day even after visiting hours end. I just love it when they overflow onto my side of the curtain.

Uggg me too!!!! I really don't like visitors when I am in the hospital..a lot of times I don't feel up to entertaining them and you end up having to do that with visitors when all you really want to do is sleep. Here the babies are not allowed out when the visitors are there so during visiting hours the babies are locked up in the nursery anyway. When I had my daughter I swear this womans husband wouldbe there by 8am and not leave until 10 at night..I wanted to scream by the end of the day! Plus she wasa breast feeder so at 3am the lights came on, the TV came on and stayed on until she was done breastfeeding...I was so exhausted by the 4th day I just sat there crying. The last time I had surgery I woke up to go to the bathroom around 1am one day and heard a male voice in my room...the darn woman next to me had her husband was still there! I went to the desk the next morning to complain about it and they said it wouldn't happen again....the next night at 7:30pm he walks in with the kids (visiting hours end at 8)..the kids proceed to run all over my side, bumping into my bed, I just had surgery so the jolts HURT! Then his parents come and he tells them to take the kids home that he is going to hang out for a few more hours!! Well security was notified when I complained so they came up that night to make sure all the visitors were gone and he had a fit because "I just got here!".....OH WELL!!! Visit earlier if you want to visit!! I had a nice peaceful night that night.

 

[dcgrumpy]

It's funny I had all 3 of my kids in a 4 year period at the same time and each time the visiting hours and whether or not the babies could be out was different.

Once the night time visiting hours ended security would kick out everyone except the dads. During the day it was different, visiting hours were from 12-2 and people would hang out until 4 and no one would say a word.

 

[krcit]

At the hospital where I delivered my kids, the visiting is only from 6:30-8:00 PM. The babies are in the nursery during that time. Grandparents and siblings can come in the afternoon from 2-4. I always enjoyed having visitors but would've freaked out if the baby was in the room with them. Yikes-too many people with germs. People just don't use their heads-they will come even if they have a slight cold not realizing that to a newborn a slight cold can turn very serious very quickly. My SIL had triplets at 30 weeks and her MIL was offended when SIL wouldn't let her near them with a cold. Oh, I visit family and close friends if they are up to it and then only stay for 15-20 minutes.