Video games... the good, the bad, and the ugly!

[TigrLvsPooh]

Well, this could turn into a debate, but I guess it's worth the risk.

Every parent has a right to set their own rules for their children, of course I agree with that, but this whole video game world is new to me and it's hard to figure out. So I need some input and advice.

My oldest son is in Kindergarten now and started getting really into PS2 and Gameboy a few months ago. At first I didn't need to worry much because he couldn't really figure out how to play the games and would give up quickly. Now, a few months later, he is really good at the games and wants to play basically every living breathing moment of his life. Well, as a good mom, I'm not going to let him do that. But the amount he plays can vary depending on the day. It has been a wet, miserable, cold winter here in Indiana, so we are in the house a lot except when the kids have activities: gymnastics, tennis lessons, soccer, speech therapy, etc. He goes to school Mon-Fri mornings, comes home around noon, has lunch, does his homework right after that, and then wants to play either his PS2 or GBA the rest of the afternoon. It's frustrating to me because we fight all day over this. I'll drag him away from the games and get him to play a board game, work a puzzle, etc, but as soon as I turn around he's right back. On non activity days he'll play as much as 3-4 hours if I don't watch him. Which is hard sometimes because my three year old is so demanding of my time I lose track of what's going on.

So I started taking both systems away and putting them in the closet where he can't get to them. Then he will mope around, refuse to play any toys, beg, cry, etc, but I stick to my guns. I asked a couple of other moms in his class... one said she lets her son play as much as he wants as long as his homework is done... the other one said one hour a day. Neither of those ideas sound good to me. One hour a day really isn't much for winter time when you can't even go outside and play.

So what's the answer? My Dad says it's "mind rot" and he shouldn't even play at all. My Mom says she sees things on TV about kids playing video games becoming antisocial with other types of behavioral problems. So do I just nip this in the bud now? Is this somehow hurting him? Or if not, then how do you figure out how long is a good amount of time to play??

Thanks for your opinions....

 

[stinkerbelle]

it's most definetly not "mind rot"...some games out there envolve alot of logic and thinking skills (ie - the Zelda games)...and it's been proven that video games increases hand/eye coordination.

as long as you are buying him games appropriate for his age, and he doesn't complain of his hands hurting (heheh), let him play...he can go outside in the spring!

 

[bananiem]

In our house you get 30-45 minutes a day. I extend it when they have friends over or if they get a new game. Homework and chores must be done first.
Our kids have a really long winter too. They go out a fair amount 'cause there's a ton of kids to play with in the neighborhood. Ds is 9 and dd is 10 1/2. But they also read, watch a little tv, play legos and board games, artwork, etc. I think there's plenty of stuff to do even when they can't go outside.
I just don't want my kids to get in the mind-set that they can just "sit" all day. A lot of the games are just reflex and don't make them use their minds much. (That's just my opinion.) I want them to stay active. I've gotten hooked on Animal Crossing and Tak and could sit there all day and play. But I know I need to do other stuff too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well as a player of video games for 30yrs, I don't believe it is "mind rot". In fact I believe it to be educational, fun, and a interesting way to enjoy yourself.

Video games are fun for all ages, even me at 40. At his age I would limit it to no more than 1-2 hours a day. Just make it a rule, have him decide when he wants "his video time" and go from there.

 

[jrydberg]

Better that than watching TV, IMO. At least playing video games engages the child. That said, I'd limit it and use it as a reward. How much really depends on your situation. Basically, if you're comfortable with it, do it.

 

[Chicago526]

it's most definetly not "mind rot"...some games out there envolve alot of logic and thinking skills (ie - the Zelda games)...and it's been proven that video games increases hand/eye coordination.

as long as you are buying him games appropriate for his age, and he doesn't complain of his hands hurting (heheh), let him play...he can go outside in the spring!

I 100% agree. I grew up with Atari and Nintendo, and I'm normal! (well, mostly!). I'm all grown up now and still play RPG's like Kingdom Hearts and Zelda, both require deduction and resoning skills, and I still use the game guide for the more complicated levels!

If this were summer time, it would be differant, and once they weather is nicer you should restrict the amount of time your son plays (except for rainey days).

Just stick to age appropiate stuff (Game Cube is geared toward younger players, and has very few "older" games so you'll have better luck finding good games with GC than PS2) and as long as the weather is bad and all homework/chores are done, let him have at it!

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

Thanks Stinkerbelle! I definitely only buy games rated E. Even though he begged me for The Incredibles (rate T) I didn't give in.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

Wow, thanks everyone! Just in the time it took me to post to Stinkerbelle I got all those other replies. My slow dial up connection!!!

 

[stinkerbelle]

Thanks Stinkerbelle! I definitely only buy games rated E. Even though he begged me for The Incredibles (rate T) I didn't give in.

no prob!

DH and I fight over our Gameboy sometimes...we love the Zelda games and even the Sims Bustin Out and Harry Potter games (all rated E I believe) are more enjoyable to us then anything...I'm not a fan of racing games (ie - Gran Turismo or Mario Cart), I rather have logic ones.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

I admit I love the Harry Potter games! The Lemony Snicket's one is cool too.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

It's not mind rot. Not at all. If played once in a while, games can help with hand eye coordination, critical thinking (ie. which way should my character go to get the treasure and not fall into the trap?) and can be fun if they are playing a two person game with a friend.

I don't think a child should be left to sit in front of a tv/game all day long every day. But now and then it's fine. I remember as a kid coming home and playing Atari for hours on end some days, other days, I played with toys, rode my bike, went to play practice (I was always in local theater) and did other activities and I don't recall my mother ever having to set a specific time for me to do any one activity, video games included.

I think in some ways, kids today have their lives way too scheduled. Children, IMHO, should not need day planners to schedule in times for certain activities whether classes like karate and dance or sports practice, or playtime at home. Obviously classes taught outside the home need to be scheduled, but I think, esp. at home, choices for play should be available, and unless the child seems to be refusing to ever do anything else, he should be allowed to play when he wants. Eventually, he will probably tire of it and move on to something else. I know that's what I usually did.

I also don't think games make a child anti-social. I recall my younger brother routinely had 4 or 5 friends over when they were in their early teens and they would all take turns playing his latest game and whoever was not playing would just sort of hang out, or play something else like checkers or something.

 

[dturner]

Our DS(8) has been playing video games since he was old enough to hold a controller. Personally, I don't have a problem with a child playing video games.

Between DS and DH they have EVERY system out there except the handheld ones like gameboy. DS has gotten so good that he now wants to "make video games" or "test games" when he gets older. I think that is a positive thing.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Besides - if your child doesn't get good at video games now...he'll lose a ton of money in college when they start betting on the games!

heheheh

 

[Toby'sFriend]

my personal opinion is that one hour a day is reasonable for my two, since that is about what they can handle with their homework loads and chores. Since he is in K and only 1/2 day of school, I don't see a problem with extending that time a little bit.

With my older boys I used to let them vegetate in front of the tv and play video games to their heart's content during school breaks or early release days. I found that by the end of the day, they would be tired and grouchy and whiney.

I know what you mean about the bad weather though. I've been backing the cars out of the garage and having my middle son practice his basketball dribbling skills in there.

It is much easier to keep them away from the tv when they can go outside. We are ALL ready for spring.

 

[oogieboogie]

I definitely don't think video games/computer games to be mind rot! DS1 has known how to use a computer since he was 2. He was using a mouse and playing Blues Clues games and that sort before he even went to preschool.

Now that he's 7, he gets to play computer/video games when he gets home from school until I come home from work - roughly 3pm-5pm. Then at night depending on what he needs to do for school he can play a little bit more before bedtime.

He plays computer games more but the games he plays he plays against other people on the internet. One thing I see from him is that he reads better, he communicates better and he learns how to work as a team and take orders from other people. His hand and eye coordination is also very good and his reflex is excellent. He also shows strong memory skills, which you need when you're playing something like Everquest or Kingdom Hearts.

As far as his grades are at school - he's constantly at the top of his class (granted he's in 1st grade), his spelling and reading are at 96% and he has many many friends. He's definitely not antisocial, his teacher commented on how polite he is at school and how he's always helping his classmates out.

I think it all depends on what video games you're letting him play - age appropriate games are certainly not going to rot his brain, and it's better than having him sit watching TV all day long! Now that's mind rot.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

I think in some ways, kids today have their lives way too scheduled. Children, IMHO, should not need day planners to schedule in times for certain activities whether classes like karate and dance or sports practice, or playtime at home. Obviously classes taught outside the home need to be scheduled, but I think, esp. at home, choices for play should be available, and unless the child seems to be refusing to ever do anything else, he should be allowed to play when he wants.

This is really how I think too. He already goes to school everyday, has tennis on Wednesdays, speech on Mondays, and spring soccer coming up in a couple of weeks, etc. He's always been very independent with his playtime so it's new for me to even have to notice what he's doing during down time at home. But he's my oldest so there is always second guessing, especially when it comes to something out of my "area" so to speak.

 

[kasar]

Sounds like you've got an active, social kid there. You listed several activities which he's involved in and I assume he's fine socially (you didn't say otherwise). So really, what's the harm of letting him have some down time and relaxation? I'd watch it carefully and I'd sure make sure it was just one part of an otherwise full life and then I'd let him play. Why don't you work together with him to come up with a reasonable time limit that you both can live with.

Oh, and check out Dance, Dance Revolution - it's active but it's still video games - my girls love it!

 

[tobias sampson]

I would be more concerned with the possible affects of so much video time on his eyesight, and developmental issues. These affects are just now coming to light, in the last couple of years. Children's eyes were not meant to be assaulted in this way.

Unlike adults, who every right to make their own choices, kids need to be protected by the adults who should know better.

 

[TigrLvsPooh]

I would be more concerned with the possible affects of so much video time on his eyesight, and developmental issues. These affects are just now coming to light, in the last couple of years. Children's eyes were not meant to be assaulted in this way.

I would like to know more about this study. Any info? Thanks.

 

[tobias sampson]

Will pm it when I get home! Hope that is okay! It was very enlightening.

I should mention this information also shows concerns about children reading small print for large amounts of time too.