VERY OT: Facebooks and teachers

[KEMdisney]

First off, just to start, I have no children, I am in my mid twenties, and I DO have a facebook account.

I just got back from my young nephews football practice where I sat on the bleachers with the rest of 'the moms'. I can't help but be shocked that I overheard them talking about how as soon as they found out who their son/daughters teacher would be this school year, they searched them on Facebook and requested them. Then the proceded to discuss what teachers they were already friends with, what teachers had as photos, status reports, etc.

I just thought it was odd. Thank god facebook wasnt around when I was in school - Id be mortified to have my mom communicating with my teachers!

I dont have any friends that have school aged children, so out of curiousity I thought Id come to my friendy Diser moms and ask -- Is this a common thing thats the new thing to do??

 

[minnie1012]

I agree that does seem odd to me. I have a daughter going into 1st grade and it never occured to me to do something like that! I don't even know her teacher's first name. I call them Miss or Mrs whatever like she does! Plus if I was a teacher I wouldn't want my students mom's on my friend list. I would want my personal life and my work life separate!

 

[Aliceacc]

I'm a teacher who doesn't have a Facebook account-- I see no need for it.

But I belong to a teacher's site, and a number of the teachers there do have accounts. They say they're incredibly careful-- they watch what they post and they don't "Friend" (is that the right term??) students. To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever posted about getting a request from the parents of a student.

For me, it's a can of worms better left unopened, but obviously not everyone agrees.

 

[Tinker*Shell*Bell]

I have a facebook, but do not accept parents nor students as friends. Students and families are welcome to become a "fan" of my classroom information page. It is a seperate page.

They can get updates easily, but not have access to my photo albums nor my friends lists. I do not think it is appropriate for students and families to have access to all my personal information and plans outside the classroom.

 

[Macduffy]

My sons Preschool teachers added me as their friends and I was sooo happy! they email me some days to tell me about something funny or cute that he did and I can let them know if he`s not going to be in class or if he`s sick. Might be different if he was older though....

 

[cogero]

I am a parent of a 3rd grader and would never think to friend or search for my daughters teacher on facebook. I just find that very shocking and really am without words.

 

[My5Mouseketeers]

Some of my kids teachers are my kids "friends" on facebook, BUT the teachers have separate FB accounts that the "academic" world sees. I assume they have their own personal FB accounts that are for there personal lives.

As an example, the Environmental Club coordinator has a FB name of "Thompson Jacoves". Thompson is the name of their middle school and Jacoves is his last names. He posts things that he thinks the kids would be interested in (eg Beach Sweeps) and it gives the kids in the club a place to tell him the cool things they have been doing. I actually like it so much that I let my 12 year old twins say they were 13 so they could get FB accounts, which is a very big thing in my house (no flames please).

Some teachers that I know, have the same type of things for parents. Hopefully, that is the case.

 

[dawson5]

I am not friends with any of my kids' teachers but I have friends (parents of my son's friends) that are friends with their kids' teachers. I never thought anything of it. One mom has four children grade 6 thru K, some of her children have had the same teacher all times. Plus she volunteers quite a bit, I would think with that kind of interaction that you become friends. We also have something called a "multi-age" program where you can have the same teacher in 2nd and 3rd, 4th and 5th (shared classrooms). Some of the teachers live in our neighborhoods. I can see becoming friends with the teacher. I know I've read some of the comments to her (the mom) posts by some of the teachers, they are quite happy to see it. When they move up, they don't always get to see the kids anymore even though they are in the same building.

Off topic: My youngest son's teacher was married at the end of his 2nd grade year. She invited all the children in her class to the wedding ceremony, not the reception but she did invite some of the parents. We never thought anything of it and he was quite excited to see her get married. We see them at the grocery store occasionally and she'll give him a big hug and her husband and my youngest always have a conversation about music. They are both big Dave Matthews Band fans.

 

[allyphoe]

Id be mortified to have my mom communicating with my teachers!

At a high schooler, sure. But parents of young kids are *expected* to communicate regularly with their kids' teachers - I send in notes if there's anything unusual going on that would affect DD6's behavior in class (like a grandparent was passing through town unexpectedly, so we had a late night).

I'm FB friends with clients and colleages, as well as relatives and "actual" friends, so my FB is pretty sanitized. If I've got something not fit for public consumption, it goes on LJ.

That said, I'm FB friends with DD's 2-years-ago preschool teacher, and that's it. I don't think I would friend her current teacher (although I did check to see if she had a profile, which she didn't), mostly because I have no relationship with her beyond "my kid is in your class," so have no particular interest in what's going on in her life. IMHO, FB isn't really a medium I'd choose to use to communicate with my kid's teacher - it's not like the teachers can check it during school hours, whereas I know they do check email during their planning periods.

 

[Stephres]

I am friends with a number of teachers, but I sub at the kids' school as well so I am always buttering them up so they will call me. I know there are different lists you can make out of your friends so you limit what they see, I hope the teachers do that.

Personally I love it because whenever I post a picture of my daughter in a new outfit I made her teacher leaves a nice message. It was nice for my daughter and I to communicate with her over the summer.

 

[pyrxtc]

I wish I could talk to my kids teachers thru facebook but they are not allowed to friend parents or students.

 

[msmayor]

Even while my kids are in high school, I have no qualms about communicating with them regularly via e-mail. I don't use facebook, so that's not an issue.

In my mind (and in the opinion of nearly every single teacher I've ever met at Back-to-School night) they are THRILLED to hear from parents, as it means they are involved and ready to assist their child be successful. E-mail is almost always the preferred method of communication as it allows them to get back to parents quickly, and normally during the school day when they are on breaks.

My son had a teacher last year who had his e-mail set up to notify him immediately when something came through at night, and encouraged the kids to send him an e-mail if they were having problems with homework or had a question. They would 'converse' back and forth, and he was able to provide that off-hours help some kids needed that perhaps parents couldn't offer (because they themselves may not understand some problems).

I know from my daughter that a few of her teachers her senior year had facebook pages, but they were told right off the bat that they could not request to be friends until AFTER they graduated...sure enough and true to his word, he allowed the kids to be his friend now that they are moving on to college. Again, I think its a great way for the kids to keep in touch with teachers they may have really liked, and can get some support from as they transition to college.

 

[mom2faith]

I am friends with DDs Kindergarten teacher, however we live in a small town and were friends before DD was enrolled in school. We do make an effort to keep Private life Private and School Life life school.

She finds it hard to relax around a few of us (ie drinking, etc) as she is concerned we see her as a Teacher all the time. As far as I am concerned Teachers are people too ad deserve a chance to let loose - LOL!! (But, this is also coming from a daughter of 2 teachers).

However, if we were not friends outside of school, no she would not be my facebook friend.

 

[Pirate1+Princess4]

My sons Preschool teachers added me as their friends and I was sooo happy! they email me some days to tell me about something funny or cute that he did and I can let them know if he`s not going to be in class or if he`s sick. Might be different if he was older though....

Ahhh, but couldn't this be done through email, without FB being in the middle of it all????

 

[daisyduck123]

1st grade teacher here

I have a Facebook account (it was just set up last month). If any parents "Friend request" me, I will not accept. I will just tell them that my school's administration frowns upon it.

My school life & personal life are two separate entities and I prefer to keep it that way.

 

[Macduffy]

Ahhh, but couldn't this be done through email, without FB being in the middle of it all????

I suppose it could! But I like them commenting on my pics of the kids and things they do with us on the weekend. I don`t have anything questionable on my facebook, say anything off the wall or mean nor do the teachers which is probably why they added me!

It`s a social networking site and can be used different ways by different people. Evidently the teachers and I use it for the reasons - to be social and share a small part of life.

These women are have helped potty train my son, teach him to write his name and kissed his boo boo`s when I couldn`t. they are already a pretty BIG part of my family - having said that - it will probably be different when he is older and his teacher is more of an academic part of his life and less of a caregiver or life skill teacher.

 

[HeatherD]

I am friends with people who happen to be teachers and I know they are very careful about what not only they post, but what their friends post. I am also friends with DD's teacher - she requested friendship this summer after it was confirmed she was her teacher.

However, I've known her since DD was in 1st grade (4th now) and she went to high school with DH. But, she is friends with former students, too. I guess it depends on how the teacher wants to run their account (to be student friendly and all) and if they consider themselves friends with the parent or not. Then again, I'm also friends with DH's high school sweetheart, others he knew in HS and some of his co-workers (he won't join FB), so it's a complicated web.

I like being friends with my kids' teachers, if I can. It makes for a better relationship with open communication. There are other ways to communicate, but FB happens to be one I enjoy. Even when the kids are in HS. If I'm friends with one of their teachers, well that's life.

 

[mkleinbe]

I have a Facebook account (it was just set up last month). If any parents "Friend request" me, I will not accept. I will just tell them that my school's administration frowns upon it.

My school life & personal life are two separate entities and I prefer to keep it that way.

Same here. That being said, I still am very careful about what I post. I work in Special Education so litigation is always on my mind. Therefore I post only things that could not be used against me in a court of law...

 

[Becky2005]

That's a new one on me. I have no desire to "friend" any of my kid's teachers on facebook. Forget looking at their stuff, I don't want them seeing mine! I might have to gripe about them or something as the school year goes on.

Now, getting their official e-mail -- sure. That works great for just the quick, it doesn't need a phone call but just to let you know situations, that they can get back to me whenever it's best for them.

Now I do know some of the people involved in the school but not really friends. The speech pathologist drops off lots of clothes on my doorstep. I love it! She lives in our neighborhood & her boys are just a bit older than mine, so when they outgrow the clothes, she asks me if I want them or tells me "I have some bags of clothes for you, I'll drop them off at your house". The Kindergarten aide has a son the same age as my oldest boy & the boys were friends for a while -- nothing really bad happened, they just kind of drifted, so I would say they are more acquaintances now. They also live in the neighborhood (our area seems to have lots of teachers/school employees here! Not necessarily all at our school either but a lot of them. DD's 8th grade SS teacher has a son the same age as her & they live in our neighborhood, etc..). It does make it nicer that there is someone I know in the classroom for my littliest one.

I will add -- if the teacher has a specific page set-up for Facebook, then in that case, I would probably become a Fan or something like that depending on how it is set up. I know the drama club at DD's HS uses Facebook a lot. That's one reason I let her have an account, it seemed like a lot of communication between the clubs/activities going on at the HS were done as groups on FB.

Just a general -- hey, that's my kid's teacher, let's friend them. Nope...I wouldn't do that.

 

[2binak]

I would never friend a child's teacher - I think there needs to be a line drawn between a teacher's professional & personal lives and being friends via FB could blur that line. I have many friends who are teachers and only one is friends with her students' parents. I agree that there should be open communication between parents & teachers, but that can be done without FB.