Vent - teenagers . . .

[cinlee3]

First off I want to say may DS is a good kid overall, doesn't get into trouble, etc. but where does he get this sense that we owe him a new car???

He has a vehicle to drive around town. Its an 87 Toyota Corolla. We have a 93 Corolla that we drive and a 2002 Safari. He wants to go to the movies with his girlfriend and says I'm taking the van. Uh, no. Not that he isn't a good driver, but there is no reason for him to take the new vehicle. He can not understand my reasoning at all.

I asked him if he was making the car payments, paying the insurance etc. It just frustrates me so much. I would have been happy to have anything to drive when I was his age. I had to share a car with my brother and sister. It was a Olds Delta 88 - the kind with the ignition on the dash, the seat wouldn't move forward and the springs were broken. I could barely see over the windshield and my feet barely touched the pedals.

Kids these days (I'm sure my parents said the same thing)

 

[RNMOM]

This sounds soooooo familiar.

I too am really fed up with the sarcastic 'tude when they don't like being told anything. ANYTHING. I am really ready to run away.

Our DS has lost his driving priviledges of our cars due to his backing out of our drive into someone coming around the corner and then getting rude about it with DH and I. So what does he do? His friend lets him drive His fathers's car home from the dealership and they get broadsided by someone pulling out of a drive through. She was cited but man, this it way over being too much right now.

He seems to think this accident doesn't matter because he was "not at fault". Well, I don't feel that way.

Sorry to take over your vent.

 

[caitycaity]

wow! my family had 2 cars. 1 was mom's and one was dad's (both worked). my sister and i were lucky to get a chance to drive one of them, and forget about driving them during the day.

 

[Serena]

I love Bill Cosby's line. "Son, I brought you into this world. I can take you OUT!"
lol

I don't know where they get it either.

 

[jamsmom]

I tend to remember I have ALWAYS been a perfect little angel, but my parents sure don't rememeber things the way I do

Since DS (12) who is ADHD still occ. runs into the street w/o lookinjg, I told him I might let him drive by the time he's 30.

 

[Keli]

Serena, My husband has another line to that saying that he always adds: I brought you into this world and I can take you out, and I can make another one that looks just like you!" It never fails to irratate Ashli when he says it, lol.

 

[cinlee3]

Well, he still refused to try the old car so he called the girlfriend and her friend is coming to pick him up. Oh, the shame. He is to embarrassed to drive the old car.

Luckily we haven't had any accidents (Thank God!). I know of at least 4 of his friends that totalled their cars within months of having their licenses.

It's not just the car either. It is clothes, money for movies, etc. We have pretty much cut him off of any extra spending money. He gets lunch money during the week (he can eat at home and save that). He is getting a part-time job.

I will say one thing in his defense. He started mowing lawns again and gave me the money this week for his health club membership (I make him pay for it) without me having to ask for it.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>Hugs.

Sometimes I feel like saying, "What planet are you on?" .... well, I do say it.

Good luck. Mine is tired of me telling him how lucky he is that he can even ask for things when so many in the world don't even have that opportunity.

 

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by Serena

I love Bill Cosby's line. "Son, I brought you into this world. I can take you OUT!"
lol

I use that one often.

I mean it, too!

 

[Tulirose]

Teenagers!!! My hair is turning gray because of my DS!

 

[4greatboys]

MY oldest ds has a car waiting for him (he will be 16 in Sept). The reason we have a car is that my dh bought a new truck and rather than just give away the car (97 Monte Carlo) to the dealership we just decided to keep it for him. Cheaper for us the long run. I know dh is not going to let him drive his truck and I dont think he would want to drive my suburban around town, lol.
I can already see the problems coming. Not only do they think you are to provide them with a new car and new computers but then they believe because they can drive they just hop in the car anytime and go anywhere they please. If thats not bad enough #2 is just a couple of years behind #1.

 

[Disney Debbie]

Your son would have DIED if he'd had to drive what DH drove when we started dating! It was a Volkswagen Karmenghia (I have no idea if I spelled that correctly!) This was in 1977 and it was about a '65. The back seat was missing and it was so faded what used to be black was now dusty gray! We went to his prom in that car!

My DD knew from the first time she started talking about it at about 12 that she would NOT be getting a new car! Even if we had the money I wouldn't buy a new car for myself let alone a 16 year old. She has a '95 Eclipse that she is paying for - and that we got a VERY good deal on. She went through that stage a little earlier then your son. When she was in jr. high she got it in her head that her clothes had to come from a few certain stores and no where else. Fine I gave her a set amount of money for school clothes and told her she could get them from wherever she wanted - but there would be no more money until spring. She learned pretty quickly that if she wanted to have more then a few things she'd better do some shopping around! She has her own job now and is COMPLETELY over that stage!

 

[Lucky4me]

My kids thought EVERYONE got a new car at 16. They thought EVERYONES parents let them go to Spring Break in SC or FL. They thought EVERYONE had better clothes, nicer toys, and cooler parents.

Now that two of them are in college and are no longer teenagers, they realize they had it better than most EVERYONE they are going to college with! They had love. They had attention. They had family who cared. That's what matters when all is said and done.

Don't worry, you and he will look back on this time and laugh. Don't give in! Make him buy his own car and pay his own insurance. (or at least most of it) He will thank you one day.

 

[wdwnutze]

Going through the same thing with my 19yo ds. He is a college freshman and thinks we should have bought him a car to go away to school with. We told him to get a job to pay for one but he didn't take us serious. Well, he's at school with no car and he won't have one til he buys it. His most recent request was a trip for spring break for Christmas and now he wants me to rent him an apartment to live in for the next 3 years instead of the dorm. "Not on your life!!" Teens certainly know how to try your patience!!!

 

[Nancy]

My oldest DD (almost 15) thinks it's terrible and I'm the meanest Mom because i refuse to buy her clothes from Abercrombie! Everyone buys all their clothes there! I constantly here complaints all the time.

The car I had access to at 17 and 18 was a Ford Pinto! It was bright red...or my Dad's car and he always drove these HUGE boats of a car.

When I was 19 I bought my own car, paid my own insurance...my Dad wouldn't even co-sign the loan for me, I had to get it on my own.(which I did!) He told me if I couldn't get the loan on my own then I didn't deserve to have my own car.

 

[Regina]

When each of our three reached driving age, we let them use their savings to buy their own car. The cars aren't anything great, older with high mileage, but it was what they could afford.

I almost died when my DD told me about a friend's son who was allowed to drive their Mercedes SUV! Holy Smokes! He has a perfectly nice car, but he wanted to use the GPS.

wdwnutze, I thought that we were the only ones to vote thumbs down on paying for an apartment instead of a dorm. (The funny thing is, no one's parents went along with this "plan." )

 

[twinmomplus2]

we just had this issue with our just turned 16 year old daughter, Who outfitted a 24 thousand dollar jetta online which she expects to be given. She is not allowed to drive around town with 17 year old drivers and a car full of kids, by the way in MA that is ilegal. And she informed me that getting her permit means she can drive with whoever she wants? I surely do not remember that in the rule book for the DMV.This same child with a computer, internet acess in her room, private land line, cell phone mini fridge, and 32 inch tv with cable in her room. informed us yesterday that she is taking us to court to get herself declared an adult. Because we are ruining her life by always getting in her bussiness and telling her what to do. Anyone have any experience with this kind of mouth? A few questions for people with kids this age 16 years 2 mts girl. specifically, What is the curfew you impose? Are they allowed to drive around with a car full of kids? do you speak to the other parents when they ask to sleep over at the other house? or do you just hope they tell you the truth? Or do you check as I do? I really do not feel as if making sure she goes from point A to Point B, Is unreasonable, I am flabbergasted that at 16 the entitlment they feel. Any comments on your regulations for kids this age?

 

[RUDisney]

My first car that I was allowed to use in 1982 was a 1969 Plymouth Satellite. It could fit me and 10 of my friends comfortably inside. The worst things about this car was that my Dad had fixed the carburator by extending a rod and gluing a penny to it. I had to pull the penny out and then push it in slowly as the engine heated up. The car had rust holes that Dad fixed with old aluminum siding, bondo and pop rivets. There was no air conditioning in it. I went to a prep HS where most of the students had drs and lawyers as parents. We were definitely one of the poorest families there. I had a large scholarship, based on need to prove that. I loved that car because it provided me with freedom. My friends loved that car because I provided them with freedom, too.

One of my friend's daughters is 18. When she turned 16, her parents bought her a 1999 BMW. She totalled that within the first year, so her dad found her an Audi to replace it. She hated that car and complained about it so much that he finally bought her a Jeep Grand Cherokee. I told my DH that if our kids complain about the car we give them to use (it will be one of our cars, not their own, even though we can afford a third car) and they don't like it, they can walk. Luckily, DH agrees on this point.

As for my DH's family, each one of his male cousins and siblings got a car for their 16th birthday. They have an uncle who can afford to do this for them. All of the girls had to wait until they graduated from HS to get a new car.

Quite frankly, when the time comes, if his uncle wants to buy a car for his grand nieces and nephews, we won't be taking it. I don't think that a 16 yo should have a car at their disposal without having to ask for it. This is, of course, MHO.

 

[Jeafl]

My daughter was under the impression that we were buying her a Corvette when she turns 16! She had already picked out the color and everything! Unfortunately for her, she is in for a rude awakening. We will not be buying her a car at all.

 

[Regina]

Twinmom, we did restrict how many friends they could have in their cars for the first six months that they had their licenses.

I don't know how it works in your states, but it was much cheaper insurance wise to let the kids get their own clunkers than to add them to our cars.

When you hear "so and so's parents bought him a ______ car" just take a ride through the parking lot of their high school. For every nice car, there's a not so great one.

I also have made the call to the parents of the homes my kids were going to. One of them really surprised me to say that alcohol was going to be allowed. DS stayed home that night.