Vent - choir teacher and concert sm update #20

[jen0610]

I am seeing red so bad right now, my head feels like it is going to pop. It has been an ongoing issue with this teacher.

DD13 is in the 7th grade choir class. She loves singing. Goes to the workshop that the high school does for the middle schoolers. Is always trying out for the solo's and speaking parts, if any.

At the end of the year, we found out due to budget cuts we were losing our choir teacher and only if we got funding would we be able to rehire her or a new one. We got the funding, but she had already taken another position. The choir teacher from the high school that was closed was hired.

From day one this man has had a chip on his shoulder about being in a middle school enviroment. Told the kids, none of them are good enough to earn an A+ or A in his class. This was confirmed by 3 other students, in 3 other choir classes. All of them were told the same thing.

Monday, during class they practiced in the gym. It was warm in the gym. DD wasn't feeling the greatest. Said she got light headed - standing on the top riser - so she squated down. When they got done with the song, her friend told him DD didn't feel good. At this he, rolled his eyes told the whole class that "you girls are all full of drama and blow everything out of proportion." Now, DD has previously passed out while standing on the top riser and fell off the riser. If she felt sick, she wasn't making it up. Told her to go sit on the bleachers until she could pull it together enough to sing.

Tonight is the Christmas concert. We are wearing uniforms for choir this year. No biggie. Had to buy the polo for $15.00. Black pants and dress shoes to round it. Knew this months ago, have everything to go. I get a call 45 minutes ago from DH and DD and she is all upset. Apparently today in class, he makes the decision that just dress shoes aren't good enough. They have to be black dress shoes. DD goes up to and tells him she doesn't have any, trying to make the conversation between just the two of them. Loud enough for the rest of the class to hear, he tells her that when she gets home that she had better make sure we go get her some. She tells him quitely, that we don't have the money for that. We don't, DH has been unemployed for 13+ months now. We pinch pennies every where. When he hears her say we don't have, again loudly tells her if our family has money to buy candy for the party Friday, then we have money for shoes. Which for the record we aren't buy candy. She has been so humiliated by now, she doesn't tell him why we don't have the money for the fear of him telling the whole class.

She doesn't want to go to the concert. If she doesn't wear black shoes, she'll fail for not being in the correct uniform. I have a call into the school. This is not accetable. I am sorry the man is no longer working with high school kids and feels these kids are below him, but he is not going to take it out on them.

When she gets to high school and if she make either of the show choirs, yes she had to match everybody else, but this is middle school. This man has my kid so upset, I want to ring his neck.

And the school has been called. The principle is to be calling me back. She wants and I want her withdrawn from this class NOW. Will be interesting to see what the principle has to say.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

I'm so sorry your dd is having to deal with this.

Someone is going to have to explain to me what shoes have to do with singing.

 

[DWGal210]

I'm sorry - regadless of how he feels, he should NEVER humiliate a student, nevermind in front of the whole class.

And for the record, I would be peeved that you find out the day before the concert that new shoes are to be bought. Even if you had the $$ isn't the point.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

This is one of those times when complaining to administration is acceptable.

 

[surfergirl602]

Ugh. What is it with all the teacher posts lately? I just don't get how an adult feels it okay to treat children like that. I really hope that things get resolved.

my daughter has her Christmas play tomorrow night and she told me last night that she needs silver and gold clothing for her costume. They've been rehearsing for over a month now, and the dress code comes home two days before the play?? Really?? It's just not going to happen.

 

[Jennasis]

The guy is on some power trip. Get thee to the administration office post haste! And hug your DD.

 

[TriMom]

OP he sounds like a terrible grumpy person. And I agree that the principal should know what is going on. But before you let your DD drop the class - and I do understand that her feeling are terribly hurt - consider what dropping choir will do long term. Or for that matter what staying in the class will do long term.

In our area, to get into show choir as a freshman, you almost have to have been in middle school choir. Also will not being in choir let signing drop off your DD radar? Or will being in this jerk's class turn her off from music forever.

I guess my recommendation is to try to get an non-emotional response to figure out the best reaction.

If it were me, and this is by no means the best course of action for you, but I would talk to the principal. I would tell him every complaint that you have about the teacher as calmly as possible. Then I would inform him that my DD would like to preform in the concert, in her current dress shoes, and does he have any suggestions about how to make her choir grade more meaningful than weather or not I can afford to buy a new pair of shoes the day of the concert.


Oh and to the PP - what the heck is silver and gold clothing - the only thing I can think of is Old Lady Cruise Wear, and I have not seen any of that on the racks at Target

 

[okeydokey]

I would be raising a stink to the principal for sure. I am one to always try to look at it from the teacher's point of view and no matter how you look at it, he is wrong and his behavior in unprofessional and uncalled for.

 

[mjkacmom]

Hmm - our choirs wear the emblemed polo shirts, black pants, and black dress shoes. Maybe he's using a high school requirement, and thought every in the middle school knew? Maybe your dd can borrow - we do that for a lot of things! Our choir director is a DIVA! On an over-the-top power trip. He's putting together this big show choir show, and calls rehearsals last minute (like at 2 pm for after school). I missed ds's concert last night, because he called a last minute night rehearsal that morning, and my kids were being dropped off home after dance/soccer, and no one would be here. She had to give up a weekly babysitting job.

If I were you, I'd confront him first, before going over his head, or else no one will listen. Unfortunately, our music department is amazing, and our director gets whatever he wants. We just have to deal if we want to participate.

 

[Debbie7452]

My DD found out a few days before a drill team event that her white tennis shoes had to have white soles on the bottom (hers were tan). I went all over town looking for such shoes that didn't exist! We spray painted her tan soles to be white for the game. It was quite temporary but it served its purpose. Could you use black shoe polish on the non-black dress shoes? Just trying to help you think outside the box! My DS uses black boots in place of dress shoes. His teacher is OK with it as long as they are black.

 

[pearlieq]

1.) This guy should be strung up by his britches! Normally I don't say this, but fire at him with both barrels and don't let the administration sweep this under the rug. There is no excuse for being cruel to a child. I would encourage you to send a letter outlining the incident and your concerns to the teacher, the department, and the principal. It's harder to ignore a paper trail.

2.) Can she quickly borrow some shoes from a friend or relative? Does she have boots or dance shoes that might pass under her pant legs? Can she make do with a pair of slightly smaller or bigger shoes for the concert? Could you make a quick run to a thrift shop?

Poor baby. I hope she makes it to the concert tonight with her head held high. And I hope this jerk has hell to pay!

 

[disneykidatheart]

Will she be on the top riser? And if so, who will see her feet anyway?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Can she borrow some black shoes? I'm sure you know lots of women with black shoes in their closet. If not I think the shoe polish idea may work. I'm sure this can be worked out without her withdrawing from the class.

 

[Hannathy]

If he just announced it today I can almost guarantee there will be other students there without black shoes. Your DD should go and do her best and deal with the fallout later. but while there you should take a good look around and check the other kids feet. I would then send the teacher an email that your DD was unable to secure black shoes on the day of the concert and if this will interfere with her grade you would like to discuss it with him and the principal. There is no way the principal would ok students being told the day of the concert they needed special shoes. I would guess this guy is a blowhard and when his feet are held to the fire he backs down.

If it would make her feel better I would try to find black shoes but I would not let her not go.

 

[NVDisMom]

Poor baby! No teacher should ever treat a child like that! I would definitely be speaking with the principal.
My girls are both in the middle school choir, have sang with our regional philharmonic and do the county honor choir. They spend a lot of time on risers! And we adore their teacher.
We are required to wear the official black tshirts and all black pants/skirts with hose and shoes. Dressy or casual is ok, but no jeans and no skin showing except arms and neck/face. Its always been this way and it does make for a very nice looking choir. That being said it is clearly defined in every piece of paper that comes home about choir and the teacher has a closet full of donated items just in case someone doesn't have the appropriate clothes for whatever reason. Sometimes it is need, sometimes just a forgetful (or stubborn) teenager. They do have their moments.
Also, the passing out thing. Especially during rehearsals, which always go slower than shows, the teacher should be giving the kids a break to prevent this very thing. Its more common than you think in choirs. Remind her to not lock her knees when she is on the risers and take advantage of not being in front...wiggle a bit from the waist down to keep that blood flowing.Both my girls are short and always in front, but they have learned to cope with a slightly bent knee and taking the opportunity to shift just a bit between pieces. Good luck and let us know how it goes. I hate to hear about horrible music teachers. If they aren't instilling a love of music and performing then what are they ding there?!

 

[Magic Mom]

I am seeing red so bad right now, my head feels like it is going to pop. It has been an ongoing issue with this teacher.

DD13 is in the 7th grade choir class. She loves singing. Goes to the workshop that the high school does for the middle schoolers. Is always trying out for the solo's and speaking parts, if any.

At the end of the year, we found out due to budget cuts we were losing our choir teacher and only if we got funding would we be able to rehire her or a new one. We got the funding, but she had already taken another position. The choir teacher from the high school that was closed was hired.

From day one this man has had a chip on his shoulder about being in a middle school enviroment. Told the kids, none of them are good enough to earn an A+ or A in his class. This was confirmed by 3 other students, in 3 other choir classes. All of them were told the same thing.

Monday, during class they practiced in the gym. It was warm in the gym. DD wasn't feeling the greatest. Said she got light headed - standing on the top riser - so she squated down. When they got done with the song, her friend told him DD didn't feel good. At this he, rolled his eyes told the whole class that "you girls are all full of drama and blow everything out of proportion." Now, DD has previously passed out while standing on the top riser and fell off the riser. If she felt sick, she wasn't making it up. Told her to go sit on the bleachers until she could pull it together enough to sing.

Tonight is the Christmas concert. We are wearing uniforms for choir this year. No biggie. Had to buy the polo for $15.00. Black pants and dress shoes to round it. Knew this months ago, have everything to go. I get a call 45 minutes ago from DH and DD and she is all upset. Apparently today in class, he makes the decision that just dress shoes aren't good enough. They have to be black dress shoes. DD goes up to and tells him she doesn't have any, trying to make the conversation between just the two of them. Loud enough for the rest of the class to hear, he tells her that when she gets home that she had better make sure we go get her some. She tells him quitely, that we don't have the money for that. We don't, DH has been unemployed for 13+ months now. We pinch pennies every where. When he hears her say we don't have, again loudly tells her if our family has money to buy candy for the party Friday, then we have money for shoes. Which for the record we aren't buy candy. She has been so humiliated by now, she doesn't tell him why we don't have the money for the fear of him telling the whole class.

She doesn't want to go to the concert. If she doesn't wear black shoes, she'll fail for not being in the correct uniform. I have a call into the school. This is not accetable. I am sorry the man is no longer working with high school kids and feels these kids are below him, but he is not going to take it out on them.

When she gets to high school and if she make either of the show choirs, yes she had to match everybody else, but this is middle school. This man has my kid so upset, I want to ring his neck.

And the school has been called. The principle is to be calling me back. She wants and I want her withdrawn from this class NOW. Will be interesting to see what the principle has to say.

That's really awful. Are you planning on going to the principal about it. No child should be humiliated like that in class.

 

[Talking Hands]

My daughters were in chorus and choir throughout their years in school (K-12) Dress shoes were always black. They also played in youth orchestra, church orchestra and school orchestra. Dress shoes black. This is standard for chorus, orchestra and concert band. And in high school it was formal black dresses and black dress shoes. So I can't see the problem with black dress shoes.
Having dealt with a teacher who humiliated students I can say that this is the real issue. No student should be humiliated.

 

[princessmom29]

I too would have assumed that the shoes had to be black. It never would have been a qustion if they were wearing black pants. I am thinking that he assumed everyone knew this and took it out on your DD when he figured out that he shouldn't have assumed. Totally unacceptable.

 

[golfgal]

I too would have assumed that the shoes had to be black. It never would have been a qustion if they were wearing black pants. I am thinking that he assumed everyone knew this and took it out on your DD when he figured out that he shouldn't have assumed. Totally unacceptable.

I would agree, if you bought black pants I would have automatically bought black dress shoes just because that is what goes together. Do you have black shoes she could wear, OP?

 

[jen0610]

Went to the concert last night. The principal blew me off, so DH went after him. Took DH a bit more seriously. He is going to talk the VP, that is who was in the school yesterday when I originally called, and get back with us today.

On the dress code. This is the first year they have had a dress code. The previous years the kids wore school provided white T's with the schools name on the front, with their mascot on the back. You could wear whatever you wanted for pants and shoes.

We get there and 80% of the kids have on black pants, the other 20% have on tan pants. DD dug out the paper sent home when we had to order the polo shirt. It clearly states on the paper the uniform will be - the polo shirt, black pants and dress shoes. So, where the tan pants came from, who knows.

For the polo's, the kids had their choice of orange, black, or white. 50% had black, 30% had white, and the other 20% had the orange, which is what DD has. It wasn't until the 8th grade choir got up to sing, then the 7th/8th grade show choir sang, did you notice that some of those white shirts weren't the polo's but the old T-shirts. With the kids sitting in chairs, you didn't notice, until they got up to move to the stage and you actual got a look at the back of the shirt with the logo.

For the shoes, we ended up getting a pair loaned to her. If only her feet were a bit bigger, she could have worn a pair of mine, but I am 2 1/2 sizes bigger than her. She has tried some of mine on and she swims in them.

When we got to the concert, we watched her walk into the gym. The kids had tickets they had to give to the teacher to show they were there. When she handed him hers, you could see him look down at her feet to see what she had on. We had to stand out in the hall for 1/2 an hour while the kids arrived and did warm ups. We watched roughly 100 other kids walk up to him and never once did you see him look at anybody else's feet.

Let me tell you, there were several there without black dress shoes on. Saw 8 pairs of white tennis shoes. Saw a girl wearing a black skirt with a pair of black hi top Chucks with the white toe. Was a girl wearing a black pair of socks with a black pair of athletic swim slippers. Saw 3 pairs of black Ugg type boots.

We will see what the school has to say later today. DD is torn about dropping choir. She wants to sing, but not if he is going to treat her like crap.

And for the PP who asked it dropping would hurting her when she reaches high school, no it won't. Her grade school choir teacher is the assistant director of the show choir. He adores DD and is the one who pushed her to do the showcases. By doing the showcase for the last 3 years, she now knows the actual choir director at the high school. He is already aware of issues between my DD and the choir director at the middle school. He actually had to get invoived in one of them and was not happy with the MS director. DS is in the music program at the high school, so the choir director sees our family around the school a lot.