Vent...again

[Disney.Ears]

I'm sorry you're going through this Meg. Remember that it's all going to get better!<3

I can't drop honors. I really can't. It's exactly at my intelligence level. Regular classes would be way too easy for me.

I take a non-honors math class. It's easy like you said, but it takes a lot of stress of me knowing that I don't have to be scared of failing.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

I`m sorry that you`re having so much stress and not happy right now Meg.
But I`d just like to say, if you do think you would like to try anti-depressants, you have to talk to someone first. You can`t just go get some, you`ve got to see a doctor who can prescribe them for you.
This would mean talking to your parents, and possibly a couple of doctors (or a counselor_

I wouldn't like anti-depressants. I hate taking medication, really (with the exception of pain meds for cramps). And I don't talk to my parents, so...-_-

I'm sorry you're going through this Meg. Remember that it's all going to get better!<3



I take a non-honors math class. It's easy like you said, but it takes a lot of stress of me knowing that I don't have to be scared of failing.

Thanks

But see, for me, it's TOO easy. My parents, teachers, everyone expect more out of me, and if I drop all my honors...god, everyone would be like "you were so smart, what happened?"

 

[Disney.Ears]

Thanks

But see, for me, it's TOO easy. My parents, teachers, everyone expect more out of me, and if I drop all my honors...god, everyone would be like "you were so smart, what happened?"

Simply say "I couldn't take the pressure."
It can become really stressful trying to live up to people's expectations. You have to do what you feel is necessary.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Simply say "I couldn't take the pressure."
It can become really stressful trying to live up to people's expectations. You have to do what you feel is necessary.

But see, there is no regular Spanish 3, so I'd have to drop Spanish (which I refuse to do).

And as for English/History, it's manageable.

Geometry is quite easy.

Computer App. is also really easy.

Gym, well...

And Chem is hard. But I'm getting a tutor for Nov/Dec, that'll help.

 

[Disney.Ears]

But see, there is no regular Spanish 3, so I'd have to drop Spanish (which I refuse to do).

And as for English/History, it's manageable.

Geometry is quite easy.

Computer App. is also really easy.

Gym, well...

And Chem is hard. But I'm getting a tutor for Nov/Dec, that'll help.

Definately keep Spanish because that's something that you need for college.

Okay.

That's good then.

Most electives are really easy A's.

Is there anyway to get into a lower sciencey class?

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Definately keep Spanish because that's something that you need for college.

Okay.

That's good then.

Most electives are really easy A's.

Is there anyway to get into a lower sciencey class?

Not without rearranging my whole sched, which I can't do.

So I'm stuck with it, sadly.

 

[Disney.Ears]

Not without rearranging my whole sched, which I can't do.

So I'm stuck with it, sadly.

Why wouldn't you want to switch your schedule?
If it helped take away stress, wouldn't you do whatever it took?

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Why wouldn't you want to switch your schedule?
If it helped take away stress, wouldn't you do whatever it took?

I can't, because the English and History are combined (AT, or Academically Talented). Period 5 is English, period 6 History. Same people in both classes, and they combine US Lit with US History. That can't be switched.

I wouldn't do whatever it takes. This happened to me in 7th grade, too (slightly less bad, but still).

 

[Tinkerbell424]

Meg, okay I completely understand how you can't be on anti-depressants, BUT after surgery and once your healed, if you can use them then go see a doctor. It really will help.

But for now, why don't you see a doctor who just listens and gives advice? The doctor can't prescribe medicine, but is just there to listen and help you if needed. You know what I mean?

&& If you don't want to drop your honors classes, then don't. But maybe take some time if you don't already to study for your classes and putting extra effort into it instead of being on the computer or whatever.

to you again.

P.S. Don't worry about your parents and fellow students/teachers thinking less of you for not taking honors. Not everyone can handle the stress it come's with. My friend is very smart, on swim team, president of our class and is switched from Honors Eng to Reg Eng and is switching out of AP world history to be inn Honors History. Sometimes the stress and pressure can be way to much to handle. It won't be looked down upon from students, teachers, parents, or colleges.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Meg, okay I completely understand how you can't be on anti-depressants, BUT after surgery and once your healed, if you can use them then go see a doctor. It really will help.

But for now, why don't you see a doctor who just listens and gives advice? The doctor can't prescribe medicine, but is just there to listen and help you if needed. You know what I mean?

&& If you don't want to drop your honors classes, then don't. But maybe take some time if you don't already to study for your classes and putting extra effort into it instead of being on the computer or whatever.

to you again.

P.S. Don't worry about your parents and fellow students/teachers thinking less of you for not taking honors. Not everyone can handle the stress it come's with. My friend is very smart, on swim team, president of our class and is switched from Honors Eng to Reg Eng and is switching out of AP world history to be inn Honors History. Sometimes the stress and pressure can be way to much to handle. It won't be looked down upon from students, teachers, parents, or colleges.

Thanks, Lexi.

But I can't go to a doctor without my parents knowing, and they cannot know. (ex. my recent relationship, etc)

I'm only on the computer at night now, for a few hours. And during Computer class, of course.

I do my studying during Advisory period, or after school.

(And I'm not talking to my Advisory teacher. He's a perv. Ugh.)

 

[Tinkerbell424]

Thanks, Lexi.

But I can't go to a doctor without my parents knowing, and they cannot know. (ex. my recent relationship, etc)

I'm only on the computer at night now, for a few hours. And during Computer class, of course.

I do my studying during Advisory period, or after school.

(And I'm not talking to my Advisory teacher. He's a perv. Ugh.)

Lol..of course not! If you tell your parents everything you told us, minus the details, would they allow you to see a doctor? You can choose to speak to the doctor just 1 on 1 and they can not say anything to your parents unless it's life threatening, I think? It's patient to doctor confidentiality.


Okay, that's good.

Ugh..lol.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Lol..of course not! If you tell your parents everything you told us, minus the details, would they allow you to see a doctor? You can choose to speak to the doctor just 1 on 1 and they can not say anything to your parents unless it's life threatening, I think? It's patient to doctor confidentiality.


Okay, that's good.

Ugh..lol.

They'd send me immediately to my old councelor (who didn't help me).

But really, adults just don't...GET me.

I mean, kids today get how hard school is now. They get the peer pressure, and the stress of classes.

 

[Tinkerbell424]

They'd send me immediately to my old councelor (who didn't help me).

But really, adults just don't...GET me.

I mean, kids today get how hard school is now. They get the peer pressure, and the stress of classes.

Hmm...what about telling them that? Maybe they'd send you to a new one?

Trust me...parents know exactly how hard school is and everything. They went through it as well. If adults don't get you, make them understand.


I know it sounds hard, but I'd do anything to be less stressed and not cry every night and everything.

 

[ohdisco]

Really, doing nothing isn't going to help at all. Your stress level will never decrease if you keep things exactly the way that they're going now. Really, if you can't handle your chemistry class, you'd be smarter to go to a lower class. I know you're apprehensive because you think people will think lower of you, but won't they think that if you fail the class?

I understand not being able to take medication before a surgery. It's a health risk that one shouldn't take. After the surgery, though, you should really look into medication. You said you "wouldn't like them" and you "don't like taking medication" but sometimes you have to do things you don't like doing that will be beneficial to your life. Honestly, a lot of people think they wouldn't like anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications, but after they try them out they don't understand how they lived without them. SSRIs have been evolving over the years and are not the same mind-numbing medications that they use to be; they use to basically get rid of all feeling, whether they be good or bad.

How many counselors/therapists have you been to? Just because the one counselor made you feel worse doesn't mean you should ban all of them. Therapists are trained to help people create ways to deal with the problems in their lives, be they stress factors in their life or situations that they can't seem to deal with.

While it's good to be there for a friend, it's not YOUR responsibility to make her completely better. Really, only time helps things such as death, and as long as you always lend her an open ear you're being a good friend. NEVER, ever give a time limit to someone's grief though. It's incredibly rude and ignorant to that person's relationships to the people around them. I know I still cry probably once a week for my grandfather who died over 2 years ago. I'd lived with him since I was 2 years old, and because my father died when I was a month old he was like a dad to me. People don't have the same relationships with their relatives or friends that everyone has, and everyone should respect that.

All in all, it seems like you're upset, but you seem to dismiss everyone's ideas on how to make your life better (or at least a little easier). You need to be open-minded, and ready to make changes in your life if you want to be healthier mentally. I use to be just like you; making excuses as to why your life just can't get better. Really, though, the moment I stopped making excuses and really started taking my friends and family's advice, I really started living better and I was much happier than I was before. I'm not trying to be mean or critical, I just don't want you to feel like you feel anymore.

 

[GoofysOnlyGirl]

here is some from me.
from what I know of you, you are a very strong person and will get through this.

I have struggled with depression and stress since 8th grade. I have a seen a therapist multiple times and it really helps just telling someone EVERYTHING. I only go probably once every six months or a year, but it really does help.

My mom is actually the one the has helped me the most though, which I guess you mentioned yours isn't. I got to the point last year where I wouldn't be able to think. I couldn't decide what I wanted from freakin burger king, then broke down bawling because of it. That was the last straw for her and called immediatly to get me an appointment.

I know how hard stress can be to deal with, and it seems like I have A LOT of the same problems you did(minus the surgery...). If you ever need to talk about anything just let me know. & try explaining to your parents what it feels like.

For me it was shortness of breath, a tight chest, and being on the verge of tears CONSTANTLY. I also just exploded and went off on people when the slightest thing went wrong. I don't want to see anyone go through what I went through last year [and my 8th grade which was worse...]. Honestly try connecting with your parents, especially your mom. I used to hate mom, and thought she would never understand what I am going through. Now she is my anchor and keeps me sane.

 

[imabrat]

Meg, there are certain HIPPA laws that say your parents do not have to know what goes on between you and the therapist. I did during chemo, my therapist would call for me and talk to me and set up appointments with me.

 

[imabrat]

Really, doing nothing isn't going to help at all. Your stress level will never decrease if you keep things exactly the way that they're going now. Really, if you can't handle your chemistry class, you'd be smarter to go to a lower class. I know you're apprehensive because you think people will think lower of you, but won't they think that if you fail the class?

I understand not being able to take medication before a surgery. It's a health risk that one shouldn't take. After the surgery, though, you should really look into medication. You said you "wouldn't like them" and you "don't like taking medication" but sometimes you have to do things you don't like doing that will be beneficial to your life. Honestly, a lot of people think they wouldn't like anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications, but after they try them out they don't understand how they lived without them. SSRIs have been evolving over the years and are not the same mind-numbing medications that they use to be; they use to basically get rid of all feeling, whether they be good or bad.

How many counselors/therapists have you been to? Just because the one counselor made you feel worse doesn't mean you should ban all of them. Therapists are trained to help people create ways to deal with the problems in their lives, be they stress factors in their life or situations that they can't seem to deal with.

While it's good to be there for a friend, it's not YOUR responsibility to make her completely better. Really, only time helps things such as death, and as long as you always lend her an open ear you're being a good friend. NEVER, ever give a time limit to someone's grief though. It's incredibly rude and ignorant to that person's relationships to the people around them. I know I still cry probably once a week for my grandfather who died over 2 years ago. I'd lived with him since I was 2 years old, and because my father died when I was a month old he was like a dad to me. People don't have the same relationships with their relatives or friends that everyone has, and everyone should respect that.

All in all, it seems like you're upset, but you seem to dismiss everyone's ideas on how to make your life better (or at least a little easier). You need to be open-minded, and ready to make changes in your life if you want to be healthier mentally. I use to be just like you; making excuses as to why your life just can't get better. Really, though, the moment I stopped making excuses and really started taking my friends and family's advice, I really started living better and I was much happier than I was before. I'm not trying to be mean or critical, I just don't want you to feel like you feel anymore.

Thank you! You summed up what I was trying to say.
Meg, I've been down this road before, and I care for you. I don't want to see someone go through it, please know that I mean only the best for you?

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Thanks, guys, but really...councelors don't help me (they don't help my friends either. They helped my parents, but not me.)

I just tend to put a wall up around me. I don't let anyone in, except close close friends. Even then, there's a lot that they don't know (they know about my surgury, they know that I'm not doing well in Chem, and about my friend of course, but only 2 know about my online thing...).

Medication isn't my thing, as I said (there's not much I can take, because of my anemia). My body is almost immune to Tylenol (it takes 20 minutes to work, then only works for an hour or two), and I can't take anything stronger (anemia, again).

I tend to vent myself on paper (stories, poems, journal writing, etc). It's easier for me to put things in writing than it is in spoken words.

I got through this once before. I can get through it again.

It took me half a school year, almost a year actually, but things picked up fast in January 2007. I began talking more, made more friends, and was a lot happier.

That was 8th grade. This is 10th.

Thing should pick up when my surgury is over. I'll have a tutor while I'm out of school, so my grades will go up with some one-on-one teaching. By then, relationship troubles should be settled (they're already getting better), the surgury will be over, and the Chem grade will be up. My friend will be better, too.

But really guys, I don't think I need help, at least not now. I'll see how I am in January '09.

 

[GoofysOnlyGirl]

Thanks, guys, but really...councelors don't help me (they don't help my friends either. They helped my parents, but not me.)

I just tend to put a wall up around me. I don't let anyone in, except close close friends. Even then, there's a lot that they don't know (they know about my surgury, they know that I'm not doing well in Chem, and about my friend of course, but only 2 know about my online thing...).

Medication isn't my thing, as I said (there's not much I can take, because of my anemia). My body is almost immune to Tylenol (it takes 20 minutes to work, then only works for an hour or two), and I can't take anything stronger (anemia, again).

I tend to vent myself on paper (stories, poems, journal writing, etc). It's easier for me to put things in writing than it is in spoken words.

I got through this once before. I can get through it again.

It took me half a school year, almost a year actually, but things picked up fast in January 2007. I began talking more, made more friends, and was a lot happier.

That was 8th grade. This is 10th.

Thing should pick up when my surgury is over. I'll have a tutor while I'm out of school, so my grades will go up with some one-on-one teaching. By then, relationship troubles should be settled (they're already getting better), the surgury will be over, and the Chem grade will be up. My friend will be better, too.

But really guys, I don't think I need help, at least not now. I'll see how I am in January '09.

My advice would still be why wait for it to be really bad to get help? Once you get some of your other stress under control, I am sure your grades will improve[I know mine did]. The thing I think most of us are trying to get at is that we don't want you to be going through this any longer than you have to. I honestly did not think talking to someone would help, but it really really does. I was like you. I put up walls, keeping EVERYBODY out. & for me talking to a complete stranger scared me to death. I didn't want them judging me. Yet, when I actually did talk to them, I found it a lot easier since they were pretty much the only person that would not judge me. They just wanted to listen, and help me through it. They also gave some specific advice to help me with what I was going through.

I really think you should give a counsler another chance now, and not wait until the stress becomes overwhelming. I have been there and it is absolutly something you NEVER want to go through. Hang in there, and you for sure have all us on the teen board backing you up

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Thanks Alicia, but what's the point of seeing someone for 2 weeks?

I mean, I'm only in school for a couple more weeks, before I'm out for two months. I can't really go out that much (to the doctor's office to see how I'm healing is pretty much it, and to my grandparents' if I have to).

Basically, I'm on bedrest, and walking around the house. I can't go to like, the mall, or anything like that, and not school (too many people, can't sit upright in those chairs, etc).

So, there's really not much use of going for a week or 2 (if I'm lucky).

I also am not comfortable about speaking to/in front of adults (never have been, either).