Vent about Teenagers!!!!

[Mad4Mickey]

I have 2 kids, my DD who is 16 ( almost 17) and my DS who is 14( almost 15) . My DD is the high school cheerleader, lots of friends ,poilte to others. BUT she can say the most mean things to me . She is upset with me cause today while I was at work (her stepfather is on a 24 hour shift tonight) she couldnt get her car to start . I have been informed I do not care about her and her plans ( she needed to practice today for her horse show in the morning) WE left her without a car all day ( waaaaaahhhh ) She never called her Father to ask him to look at it at all. She told me that I never listen and that last week she told me it was giving her trouble and my work is more important. I explained to her that if she liked having this house , the pool , her horses and the car I needed to work ! She ran upstairs and has been in her room now for over 4 hours. She wont talk to me , I understand it is my own fault she is spoiled! I just needed to vent . I DONT know if I will make till she graduates in 2004.I understand she has stress but how much stress can cheerleading and horse shows bring her ????

Wishing everyone with teenagers a QUIET DISNEY night !

 

[Serena]

You hold it right there. She is having a temper tantrum and don't you give in to it. Don't take the guilty she is heaping on you. She is an angry teenager and she'll get over it, especially if she decides she wants something.


{{{hugs}}} I know it's hard.

 

[jamsmom]

But, remember that once she graduates, and may move out to college, you will not have this joy.

 

[nativetxn]

She'll get over it. Let her pout it out.

 

[Disneygal]

Teenagers are a strange and crazy lot. They are sent to us to turn our hair gray, raise our blood pressures dangerously high, and turn us into blithering idiots.
I have 2 DD, 16 & 17. I have actually been blamed for it raining outside, instead of it being a sunny day.
The only joy I have right now is knowing that one day, they'll have teenagers of their own. Ha Ha!

That will be a happy time for me, and that's what keeps me sane.

 

[nativetxn]

I just remembered something I did to Travis when he was 16 and complained that I didn't care about his needs at all.

He stomped off to his bedroom and I heard his television come on. So, I went to his bedroom, knocked, entered and removed the color television, computer and Nintendo. When he protested I very calmly told him that I had been doing some thinking and he was right I never cared about his needs and <i>what the heck</i> was I thinking when I gave him all of those things.

He was in shock for a while, I could hear him slamming things around in his room. A little while later he came out and apologized, said all the right things, etc. He didn't get those things back for a week, though He never said anything like that to me again.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

Thanks for the support. I was talking to a friend the other day about how hard it was to raise kids. She told me that at one point she wanted to stick her son in a barrel and bury him out in the yard for 3 days .She thought maybe when she dug him up he would 1. changed 2. been grateful for once about something even if it was about being dug up or 3. run to his fathers because he thought she was nuts . He is 23 now and she said he has told her many times how sorry he was for just being a teenager !Her sister said she wanted to seal her kids up in a plastic baggie and then let them out at about 19 LOL.
Thanks again for the support , it is nice to have people to vent to .


Wishing everyone a Disney day !

 

[RitaZ.]

He stomped off to his bedroom and I heard his television come on. So, I went to his bedroom, knocked, entered and removed the color television, computer and Nintendo. When he protested I very calmly told him that I had been doing some thinking and he was right I never cared about his needs and what the heck was I thinking when I gave him all of those things.

Katholyn, I will have to remember this one! LOL

 

[minnieandmickey]

I received this as an email and have kept it to remind me and my teenager how things can be.

Subject: Teenagers

Don't mess with mothers....

My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.
Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today, The "Children's Bill of Rights."
It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as C.S .D.

Of course my first instinct was To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D. who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of those Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment to take your driver 's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what 's best.
I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine.
He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?
"Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights," It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying, why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Her sister said she wanted to seal her kids up in a plastic baggie and then let them out at about 19 LOL.

I have a 19yo dd living at home while going to college. Believe me, that is a year or two too soon to release them.

 

[audflash]

Oh Mad4Mickey, I feel your pain. I have two teenage daughters - 19 and 13. Yikes! I can remember my mom reminding me that the world did not in fact revolve around me - now I'm saying that to my girls. My sweet mom just laughs. I do feel hopeful that she is laughing now - after all I put her through.

You mentioned that your dd didn't call her father to solve her problems. In our house, the kids would never dream of trying to lay a guilt trip on their dad. I have watched him be so unsympathetic to their whining that they quickly give up and turn to me. Why are moms the easy target? Because maybe we do feel a little guilty for working, going to the gym, whatever. I feel like my kids are so ungrateful for all that they have.

Great idea Kath - Maybe taking some things away would be a good lesson... I'd probably feel guilty about it though!

 

[jamsmom]

Originally posted by Disneygal
Teenagers are a strange and crazy lot. They are sent to us to turn our hair gray, raise our blood pressures dangerously high, and turn us into blithering idiots.
I have 2 DD, 16 & 17. I have actually been blamed for it raining outside, instead of it being a sunny day.
The only joy I have right now is knowing that one day, they'll have teenagers of their own. Ha Ha!

That will be a happy time for me, and that's what keeps me sane.

Be careful what you wish for....my son is living with my parents (but my choice, but not to get back at them). My Mom sometimes says maybe she should NOT have wished that I have one just like me

 

[grinningghost]

Aaahhh, teenagers. Those hormones will drive you insane sometimes. I hope things cool off soon.

 

[4greatboys]

It's quite funny around here when my 2 oldest start whining or yelling I just tell them to pakc their bags and I'll be happy to take them to their dad's house if Im so awful. Maybe they would like it better there. And they certainly know they wont have it better so then noooo, we are sorry, we didnt mean it.
As long as they do their chores around the house and arent disrespectful to others they normally get a good amount fo freedom to go to friends house and stuff like that. But once they start acting like horse behinds that comes to a stop right away.
I too cannot wait til each one has teens of their own. Im not sure I will be able to suppress my smile as they tell me how bad their teens are acting, lol.

 

[Kitty 34]

Originally posted by nativetxn
I just remembered something I did to Travis when he was 16 and complained that I didn't care about his needs at all.

He stomped off to his bedroom and I heard his television come on. So, I went to his bedroom, knocked, entered and removed the color television, computer and Nintendo. When he protested I very calmly told him that I had been doing some thinking and he was right I never cared about his needs and <i>what the heck</i> was I thinking when I gave him all of those things.

He was in shock for a while, I could hear him slamming things around in his room. A little while later he came out and apologized, said all the right things, etc. He didn't get those things back for a week, though He never said anything like that to me again.

Sounds like something I would do, Kath!!!

Teens certainly are a different breed but then they turn into college students that come back for the summer and treat the house like their dorm room!!!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Originally posted by 4greatboys
It's quite funny around here when my 2 oldest start whining or yelling I just tell them to pakc their bags and I'll be happy to take them to their dad's house if Im so awful. Maybe they would like it better there. And they certainly know they wont have it better so then noooo, we are sorry, we didnt mean it.

I don't want to hijack this thread but I just had to say something about this...suggesting the kids' father's house as a punishment could do damage to their relationship with their father. We went through a time of this with DH's EX threatened to send my DSS to us because he was out of hand. He started viewing our house as a punishment even when it was our time to have him. We do have stricter rules in our house but it's not anything out of the ordinary it's just that the kids mom wants more to be their friend than to be a parent, so now she is dealing with what she has created. We would take DSS or DSD in a minute no questions asked to live with us if that is what HE or SHE wanted. But for us to be used as a threat really made me sad. Luckily we all have pretty much worked past that and the kids mom doesn't threaten that any more.

 

[DisneyHumbug]

My DD failed her road test yesterday - it was my fault, I didn't take her driving enough. It was my fault because she hung out with her friends and went to the mall instead of practicing. But I have big shoulders - I also have a 21 yo DD who likes me now!!!!

 

[bumcat]

When my oldest was a senior she wanted to go out and get a Pepsi at 10 at night. I told her no way drink water or milk.
She had a fit and said that she had to study for a test and without the Pepsi she would fail her test and it would be my fault for not letting her go out and get the pepsi.
I gave her her typical answer, Whatever!!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

I don't want to hijack this thread but I just had to say something about this...suggesting the kids' father's house as a punishment could do damage to their relationship with their father.

Also agree here. I have several single mom friends who have sons. When their sons hit the typical difficult teenage years the boys got tired of the moms and the rules and complained to their dads. The dads were able to obtain primary custody of the sons because the judge felt that the boys needed to be with their dads now that they were teens. So the moms got them thru diapers and puking and up all night and driving them around to baseball games, etc.... and the dads get them when they are teens/becoming young men. In every case the dad's were more lenient and it wasn't good for these young men. The moms were upset and lost alot of their closeness with their sons. So be careful here.
I have twin 15yo sons. Both were planning to enter a surf contest tomorrow. One got himself in trouble with me a couple of times for not handing in homework. He lost his board for a couple of days. I have been told that he would not win because I wasn't letting him practice. Then he didn't enter and blamed it on me. With three teens I frequently get the blame. And since I am a mom who wants everything to be perfect for my kids, there are times when I accept it.
I have a 19yo dd who at times is difficult. But sometimes with her I can see light at the end of the tunnel. And I have all good kids (as far as drugs/alcohol/school, etc go) Imagine parents of difficult/troubled kids.

 

[nativetxn]

I can remember my mother telling me a long time ago, "I was absolutely <i>amazed</i> at how much my mother was able to learn in 5 short years, she was really stupid when I was 16 but she was much smarter by the time I was 21."

LOL, it was true, too. My own mother learned so much in 5 years, it was just amazing