I'll be working towards that goal too, when I get pg! I wish you all the best luck and excellent labor vibes in the world!!!!!!!!
By the way, I only read your first post and the post you made right before this, so I don't know what has been said, but I had to reply to this.
"I also have to admit that I *do* have feelings of failure for not delivering ******lly."
Since those are your feelings, just in case anyone is telling you that you are wrong to feel that way, that you should only be happy about the baby and all the jazz that is thrown the way of people when they should be heard, listened to, and gently hugged...there are many of us who know just how you feel, feel the same way, and honor your feelings just the way they are. There are others out there who wish for the day that feelings like that are respected by the masses, but for now, know that there are others who know what it feels like, and want you to know it's totally OK to feel that way.