Validating vacation time for yourself

[TooBoyz4us]

We are faced with a dilemma , and I am sure it is one that many people have faced before.

We've decided to book a Disney vacation this year.Our Disney trips tend to be our longest vacations, and are usually 6-10 days in length or more with driving time etc. But, both sets of our parents are getting older and have many more health issues than when we traveled to Disney 5 years ago.

I am having a hard time telling myself it is "okay" for us to plan things within our own little family to have fun.And that you just can't sit around and wait for things that might happen.The problem is that on my side of the family,my Mom,who is disabled, is alone now having lost my Dad earlier this year, and my brother (who is living with her) is battling an illness himself.
I tend to be the rock for them.

At least on my DH's side, there are other siblings who could step in and handle things in the case of an immediate emergency.

I feel guilty thinking about vacationing---but on the same hand, I have to put my family first.(Meaning DH and our kids) Our kids are teens now, and in just a couple short years they will be graduating and moving on to college and their own lives. I don;t want to put things on hold and let what is left of their "childhood" slip on by.

So, I am curious to hear how you validate your family vacation time.Or do you even feel like you have to validate it?

Thanks ;-)

 

[GoodFairies]

My parents will not plan anything because they are too wrapped up in "what ifs?" It drives me crazy. My answer always is, we deal with it IF it happens.

You cannot get stranded in Florida so there is no reason for you not to go. You are not going to the remotest regions of earth. Make sure they know how to reach you. Maybe have a neighbor look in on them. It will be fine.
There is no reason to feel guilty or worried.

 

[winkers]

Go!!!

I take care of my Dad.......he lives alone, but can't drive or do much house work. When we go to DW it's for about a week and I have my aunt check in on him.
You can't stay at home worried about the what if's. You need a break too!
So go, and don't feel guilty!

 

[Castlebound]

I never validate my family's vacation time. The hard truth that I follow is you have to live your life, and not put it on hold waiting for people to stop living theirs. It sounds mean but it really isn't. There will only be time for so many family vacations before your kids have their own families. I wouldn't want my kids to put their lives on hold because I was old or sick. I would cherish the time I had with them and be happy that they are making great memories with their kids.

 

[minniecarousel]

My elderly mom lives with DH & I. When we vacation, one of my sisters will come to our home and stay with her. Thankfully, they both have plenty of PTO with their jobs. With no other close family nearby, you'll have to get someone else's help just to check on your Mom and brother. You know you won't be comfortable without having someone available if an emergency arises. A neighbor? a cousin? a church member?

You are right - your family (DH & kids) deserve the time away.

 

[Barb D]

My mom is the full-time caretaker for my elderly grandparents. My aunt came in for 10 days in October so my mom could go on a cruise with some of her friends. On the second day of the cruise we had to call her home -- because my perfectly healthy DAD was in a serious accident, and ended up in critical condition. You just can't know what's going to happen, and you can't live your life worrying about it.

Like a PP said, you're not going to the ends of the earth. In the unlikely event that something happens you can get home.

 

[bumbershoot]

We don't feel the need to validate it.

 

[Disney Darling]

It's funny that I find this thread today as I was just having this discussion the other day. I'm on the validating side. I'm not overboard but sometimes I do find myself questioning or dealing with residual guilt about getting away even for little mini-vacations. Know that you are not alone.

With that said, I would like to encourage you to go and reconnect with your family and charge your mental batteries (can't say recharge the physical because that rarely happens in WDW ). In order to give the best that you can to your family, you need to be at your mental best. Nothing like a nice time away out of the area code to do just the trick. A trip to WDW is even better.

There are provisions that can be made for them including having someone from an agency come in. I know when my grandfather was very ill, my mom made provisions with the county who provided services such as respite for care-takers.

Please, for yourself and your family, take care of yourself so that you can continue to be the rock. And get planning on your trip!!