Vacation guilt

[Jaklackus]

Wow. She can't find part time minimum wage work where she is...so she is going back to school getting a degree in a field that will hopefully pay far more than minimum wage in the near future....I give her kudos for going out there to better herself in a bad situation...most people would sit and spin their wheels waiting for Burger King to call.... If she can't get a job at McD's..perhaps she should work the local street corner on Mondays and Wednesdays until things improve. Geesh....

she said herself she is not working and the husband only has a part time job trying to support a family,I am ok with a women staying home (i do) but only if you can afford it and vacations are the last thing that should be going on if they are struggling!
We take many vacations a year...but we can afford them! I dont give a hoot WHO is paying I would never do that to my spouse....if we could afford it and he just wanted to stay home fine but to leave him behind because you can not afford it and he HAS to work or not pay the bills...NO WAY...I am sure that is not cool with some disney obsessed but OH WELL.She has been to wdw a few times in the recent past so missing one time will not kill her A mans pride will have him so "sure go ahead and go" but dont think for a minute the thought that she would leave him behind to work his butt off to pay THEIR bills will not cross his mind.
I dont know how ANYONE can think that is ok....if you are having money trouble and its big enough to say it on a forum for everyone to see then a vacation is not a good idea no matter who is paying.

 

[ccgirl]

Haven't read all the posts....

Really? You have to ask? If they can't afford rent or food, they sure can't afford a vacation.

And no vacation is truly "free".

OP, since you're having trouble paying your bills, why don't you ask your Mom if she'd give you the money to put towards what you need it for?

I also don't think your DH is in a great position to be asking for a week off of work right now...you could both end up potentially unemployed.

Yup...this is my thought. If your mom would allow, I would much rather take the cash and put it in savings in case something happens or pay down a bill. A vacation does not have to be to WDW. You can stay at a local hotel for a couple of nights and use the indoor pool. That is what we did when I was laid off.

I guess that is my biggest struggle with the whole issue...I'm not sure when or if my husband will ever get another job like the one he had for 9 years. I'm in nursing school and will not be finished for another year or possibly two depending on how things go.

We have never been in this situation before so just wondering what other people do. When is it acceptable to go for those who say do not go? I'm guessing we will not be financially back to where we were before for at least 4-5 years. I forgot to add my mother would also be going.

Unfortunately, your situation is all too common. There are plenty of people where going on vacation every 4 - 5 years, when they can afford it, is the norm.

Personally...I wouldn't go to WDW. If your DH is part time does he even get paid vacation?

 

[livie1205]

Wow. She can't find part time minimum wage work where she is...so she is going back to school getting a degree in a field that will hopefully pay far more than minimum wage in the near future....I give her kudos for going out there to better herself in a bad situation...most people would sit and spin their wheels waiting for Burger King to call.... If she can't get a job at McD's..perhaps she should work the local street corner on Mondays and Wednesdays until things improve. Geesh....

It does not matter WHY she is not working...if she is going to school fine but to go on a pricey vacation while her spouse stays at home to work because they have big money trouble ...NO! There is no excuse out there to make me think that is ok.

 

[Poohbear5]

Nope, never been in a position where someone paid for my vacation! That's pretty sweet!

 

[eliza61]

she said herself she is not working and the husband only has a part time job trying to support a family,I am ok with a women staying home (i do) but only if you can afford it and vacations are the last thing that should be going on if they are struggling!
We take many vacations a year...but we can afford them! I dont give a hoot WHO is paying I would never do that to my spouse....if we could afford it and he just wanted to stay home fine but to leave him behind because you can not afford it and he HAS to work or not pay the bills...NO WAY...I am sure that is not cool with some disney obsessed but OH WELL.She has been to wdw a few times in the recent past so missing one time will not kill her A mans pride will have him so "sure go ahead and go" but dont think for a minute the thought that she would leave him behind to work his butt off to pay THEIR bills will not cross his mind.
I dont know how ANYONE can think that is ok....if you are having money trouble and its big enough to say it on a forum for everyone to see then a vacation is not a good idea no matter who is paying.

do what to her spouse? Is she killing him? Is she cheating on him? He's working, oh how horrible, a man has to work and can't get time off from his job. how cruel, some one call 9-1-1. gimme a break. my spouse and I both work, some times one of us has to miss a trip because we can't get time off. I've been to disney a number of times without my husband and yep he had to work, guess what 25 years and counting. Personally, I think it's totally selfish to think "oh I can't go so the whole family should miss out". They are both working to get outta of debt. she is investing in their future by increasing her earning potential.

I hope I'm am never that self absorbed that I would make my dh miss out on a trip with his family simply because my schedule did not allow me to make it. If we discussed the financial aspect and it wouldn't burden us then I would put him on the first plane smoking outta town.

I've been treated to nice vacations from my parents and I've treated my parents and siblings to vacations when their money was tight. I'm extremely happy that I have those type of relationships
I guess I'm extremely blessed. I've got a terrific dh who would not think twice about sending me and my kids away without him.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

If you're feeling guilty about the trip, you know the right answer.

No trip is completely free. Even if your mom's paying the cruise ticket, you 'll still need transportation to the port city, a hotel for the night before the cruise and parking (either at the airport or at the port city). Once you're onboard you'll have to pay tips -- that's non-negotiable -- and most people will spend something on drinks, souveniers, etc. Do you already have passports? That's almost $100/person.

Plus you mentioned that this isn't a good time for you to take off work, which makes me think it'd mean losing a week's pay.

If you literally can't afford food and necessities, this isn't a good idea right now. Instead, I'd invite your mom to stay with you a while. Same family time, cheaper location.

Exactly!!!!

 

[Colleen27]

she said herself she is not working and the husband only has a part time job trying to support a family,I am ok with a women staying home (i do) but only if you can afford it and vacations are the last thing that should be going on if they are struggling!
We take many vacations a year...but we can afford them! I dont give a hoot WHO is paying I would never do that to my spouse....if we could afford it and he just wanted to stay home fine but to leave him behind because you can not afford it and he HAS to work or not pay the bills...

Different marriages have different dynamics. I've traveled with my mother when DH couldn't get away, and he's happy that we can do it. The nature of his work is such that he cannot get away during the summer and still save enough money to get through the winter (when there's hardly any work to be had), and some destinations just can't be done in January when he can travel with the family. Not everyone gets paid vacation to use at their convenience, and I'm glad my husband isn't so childish as to say/feel that the whole family must stay home and not have certain experiences because he has to be home working to make ends meet through the prime travel season.