Are you a good grandpa BDR ?? My MIL became a grandma at 36. She was only 15 when she had my DH. DH and I got married when we were 18 and had DD1 when we were 21. My MIL resented BIG TIME being a grandma and was not happy. She was not involved in their lives...and still is very limited with them now. It's pretty much holidays only. They don't come out for baseball games or band concerts. Don't call or e-mail just to catch up with them. It's a very distant relationship
My mom was a grandma at 39...as she and my dad eloped when they were kids. She was 16 when she had me(and no..she wasn't pregnant at the time they married..I even checked their marriage license in the hall of records when we visited Virginia once! Not that it would have mattered. I brought a copy home to them as a gift, since they had lost it yeas ago.) Mom is Italian and Dad is Irish..and their families didn't like that they dated. So what did they do?..They got MARRIED!
My husband and I met in high school(he was an "older man"

by five years. I married him a year after graduation. We had our first child 4 years later. I was 22. My mom had just turned 39 when he was born. Often when we would be out together people didn't know if he was mine or hers.(She liked that

) My dad was 40. They were the proudest grandparents you would ever meet. It didn't bother them a bit. My dad often said that being a granparent was the reward you got for being a parent. You don't have to parent them..just enjoy them.

I was very lucky that my older son(now 27) was the first grandchild, and spent a HUGE amount of time with my dad. Dad taught him to swim, and took him to hockey games. My parents were young enough to really enjoy their grandchildren. My siblings didn't have kids until some 10 years later, so he was an only grandchild for quite a while. Until his sister's came along. some 5 and 7 years after he did. The sad part of this is that 11 years ago, my dad had a stroke at age 56. He is partially paralyzed and lost his speech. One of my last memories of him actually walking is droping him and my then 16 year old son(who towered over him)at the train station. They were going to watch a Ranger hockey game at Madison Square Garden. A teenager who loved being with his grandfather. Imagine that. Two days later dad had a stroke, and while he is still with us..as you can imagine life is very different.
Five years ago, that grandchild graduated from the NYPD academy at a ceromony held in Madison Square Garden. Talk about emotional. Imagine barely 2 years after 9-11, some 1700 men(and women) in blue entering every aisle of the Garden to sounds of Frank Sinatra singing "New York, New York." (I get chills..but you may have to be a "New Yawka" to appreciate that). In any case, his grandfather was there to see that. In a crowd of people larger than you can imagine, my son spotted his "grandpa". He was the first one he greeted, and crouched to his knees to hug and kiss him in his wheel chair. There they were together again in the very place they shared so many memories from his boyhood. A boy no more..a man with his grandfather. Tears rolled down my dad's face and he gave his boy a thumbs up and stroked his head. "Yes..yes" is all he could manage to say.
I feel sorry for your mother-inlaw, because she will never know that kind of joy. The idea that she had children so young that she isn't able to share that kind of bond with her granchildren is sad. While my parents started out young, they have often said that they were proud and thrilled to be called grandma/grandpa. I think they were able to give and spend more time with my son and actually enjoy it, than they were with us kids. My dad had more time when it came to his grandchildren, and maybe even wanted to make up for some of the time he wasn't able to spend with his own kids..while he was busy providing for them. Considering what ultimately happened..I thank God that they did start so young, and that I did too. My son is really the only grandchild that remembers Grandpa when he walked and spoke and flew planes,sky dived, and water skied. He was able to share those things with him. I'm grateful for that. I know my dad is. I can see it in his eyes everytime he looks at his grandson.
Oh..well..sorry for the rambling story and the family history...but seeing your post, well it just got me to thinking. I've got to go call my dad now.
