*Updated**Uggggggh! Friends we are meeting in WDW are making me crazy! Hugs, please..

[frannn]

One of my close friends moved in Aug to FL, about 25 minutes away from WDW. We decided that we would meet up once or twice when we go to WDW this month. They just bought a house, so seasonal passes are out of the budget. I tried suggesting things that would be money savers, like the campfire movie, MNSSHP, etc. She decided that they will buy 1 day tickets to MK, and spend the day with us there. Today she called me (ranting and raving, for the second time) since we had not nailed down the exact day during our trip that they will be joining us. Ok, that's not a problem, so I gave her a day. Then, she goes on to yell about things like, "why did you have to make all those meal reservations", and "why do you have this packed itinerary", and "why do you need 11 days in WDW", and "why do you have to take a break in the middle of the day; why not stay at the parks (we have DD3 and DD12, and yes, even we like to take an afternoon break)". She has a DD3, who is very mature for her age, but I would think that even this advanced 3 year old will break down after several hours of running around the parks. First she said that they would find somewhere else to eat if they met us at MK on a day that we had a lunch PS, now she says that her DD is looking forward to eating with my DD3, and she refuses to "rip them away" from each other....HUH??? I had to break into her rant to explain to her that WDW is not the same as it was the last time she went (when she was 16....about 17 years ago), and that the park will not be empty next week, like she thinks. She did not want to believe me that most rides (at least in Fantasyland) would probably have about 60 minute waits after 11 am or so. Am I wrong? Should I leave my entire vacation open with no PS on her say so, because its wrong of us to not plan to spend a few days with them??? I'm sorry, I guess I just figured that becuase this is my only vacation this year, and since I love WDW, I would be spending it enjoying myself there, and fit them in, not the other way around. They also plan on going to WDW at least a few more times in the upcoming months. I told her that since we don't live in FL, we have to squeeze all that we want to do in those days, and if we want to make PS to eat with the princesses and Mickey, thats fine, because thats what we WANT to do. Then she proceded to put my DD down because she is not as advanced as hers. I bet you're thinking, "and this is who you call your friend????", but I honestly think she has a bonified medical condition that make her moods swing all over the map, and she can be very sweet at times. I guess I'm looking for someone to tell me that I'm not wrong, and that she's being unreasonable (even ridiculous) in many ways.
Sorry for the novel.

 

[klj27]

This is why we have banned anyone from going to WDW with us. We have always had my mom or inlaws with us every trip except one. Our last trip was so magical because we were alone and there was no negative energy. Even when you get along with people it is a different dinamic and it can end up being negative.

My advice to you is to look at it as one day of your vacation that you are sharing but not giving up. You can control your feelings and don't let her negativism ruin your plans. Do what you know is right and she will follow along. If she grumbles, oh well! Enjoy yourself!

 

[Mimi Q]

When we go to WDW with family or friends, I simply show them our itinerary and tell them they are welcome to join us when they choose to do so.

 

[MainStreetFan]

You are definitely not crazy! I know she is a friend, so remember it is only one day, or possibly part of one day. Have a magical time and enjoy the little things with your kids.

 

[think tink]

that is why i think it is so funny that they call it magical gatherings. i went with a few of my inlaws and there was nothing magical about it

 

[tlbwriter]

Just remember, you are inviting her to join you for part of YOUR vacation. That doesn't mean you plan around her bipolar mood swings. It means you say "this is when we'll be there, and this is what we're doing - hope to see you!"

 

[kilee]

Well, I may be the unpopular one here. If it's only for 1 out of 11 days- I'd try to make some compromises. I'd limit it to 1 day though. I would think if they were a good friend, at least one I'd be wanting to visit on vacation, it won't be that bad. Also, I'd look into possibly cutting out the mid-day break for this day. Possibly take the day off before or after from the parks.

If nothing else try to agree upon a different activity. Was meeting up for dinner out of the question. Possibly go offsite even. This limits it to just a get-together. It may be too difficult now, since the ground work for other events is already in place. However, you may be able to find a way to essentially say we are going to be in town on such and such. Our trip is really hectic, but we'd really love to see you. How about dinner on "Sunday" (pick a day)......

My DS has family in the Orlando and Tampa area (via his dad/my ex). They LOVE to see him when we come to visit. Anyhow, DH (who is really sweet about spending time w/ them) and I only do it on trips of more than 5 days, and only for 1 day. Otherwise they'd be turning my trips into nightmares. I mean my DH doesn't want to spend his vacations w/ my ex's sisters and such. We give the 1 day for my son, and leave it at that.

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

I was also thinking that if she was a friend I really wanted to spend time with, then I would make some compromises since it would only be for one day. I could never imagine meeting up in a park for a 1 day visit and then splitting up for a break and splitting up to take my children to see characters (I'm confused as to why they couldn't join you for lunch).

I only hold my ground with my plans when people I don't really want to spend time with start messing with them.

It sounds like you don't really want to spend time with her, so then I agree, why should you change any of your plans to do it?

Who's idea was it to get together anyway?

 

[Pedler]

I'm sorry, I guess I just figured that becuase this is my only vacation this year, and since I love WDW, I would be spending it enjoying myself there, and fit them in, not the other way around.

I guess that really says it all. You would rather spend your 11 day vacation doing what you want at Disney and do not want to take a day out to accomodate your friend and do what she wants to do. I would just let her know that you are doing what you want to do and if she wants to join you then fine if not then you won't be seeing her this time around. She may be viewing the day at MK as place to get togther and spend time with a friend and that Disney is second and you view it as Disney first friend second. With 11 days you feel you will not have enough time to do all that you want to do and can not spare a day for your friend. Nothing wrong with that but you should let your friend know where she stands so you avoid any mistaken perceptions about what the intent of the day is.

 

[ksdave]

We did a seven-day vacation to WDW and UO with our best friends' family several years ago. We will never do another trip with any one else.

(BTW: They are no longer our best friends).

 

[Stacy's a freak]

The worst thing about this situation is that it is stressing you out. I only have one suggestion - try to take a deep breath, sleep on it, and think about it again tomorrow. It IS only one day (I kills me to say that becuase I've vowed to NEVER again interrupt my Disney vacation with family/friend visits). If you are still angry, upset, or just plain irritated, consider telling your friend that you want to make the most of your time there and that she is stressing you out. A good friend will back off and let you do what you need to do for your family vacation.

 

[erinz]

OK.......I was almost fine until the part where she put your DD down.

Are you hesitating to cancel because you feel sorry for her, or because you really want to spend time with her? Is it that you feel obligated? Or is it that being with her and her DD would really add to you and your DD's vacation enjoyment?

I think answering that would help give you a clue as to what to do.

You have 354 more days to do things out of obligation. These 11 days are for you to be as selfish as you want!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

I guess that really says it all. You would rather spend your 11 day vacation doing what you want at Disney and do not want to take a day out to accomodate your friend and do what she wants to do. I would just let her know that you are doing what you want to do and if she wants to join you then fine if not then you won't be seeing her this time around. She may be viewing the day at MK as place to get togther and spend time with a friend and that Disney is second and you view it as Disney first friend second. With 11 days you feel you will not have enough time to do all that you want to do and can not spare a day for your friend. Nothing wrong with that but you should let your friend know where she stands so you avoid any mistaken perceptions about what the intent of the day is.

I think the problem is that this woman would not let the OP know which day they could meet them at MK. I didn't get the impression that the OP didn't want to make time, I got the impression she wanted to nail down some specifics. And when this friend started talking badly about her daughter all bets were off in my book. That sure would make me place this friend "second" to Disney or any other thing. Also, maybe the OP puts her family first and not Disney like you suggest and that is why all this stress from a friend is making her upset. She wants to have a fun time with her family!

To the OP, stick your ground and tell your friend that your family has looked forward to this vacation, it is costing you a lot of $$ and that you really want to see her if it works out and if not you'll understand. That puts the ball in her court to get her act together.

 

[LadyDulcinea1]

This is the reason we typically don't make plans to meet up with people during our trips, they usually cause excess stress

Don't stress too much, just try to enjoy your trip and I'm sure eventually your friend will come around and everything will work out

 

[PIRATEGIRL007]

we went with family last year and had issues like this. we ended up spending more time waiting on them then in lines for all the rides combined all week. we finally ended up taking our cells and had them call us when they finally got ready to do something. this seemed to work out alot better for us. you can also screen calls if you choose.

 

[kilee]

Doesn't everyone think there is a difference between spending 1/2-1 day w/ someone as opposed to an entire trip? I think when you actually vacation w/ family/friends that falls into a whole other category. However, I really looked at it as meeting up w/ someone from out of town for awhile.

 

[mjmcca]

Doesn't everyone think there is a difference between spending 1/2-1 day w/ someone as opposed to an entire trip? I think when you actually vacation w/ family/friends that falls into a whole other category. However, I really looked at it as meeting up w/ someone from out of town for awhile.

The problem is the friend wont give the OP a solid date and then complains about the plans the OP has made for her vacation. I wouldn't mind meeting a friend for a day or 2 on vacation but if they cant give me solid plans so i can plan out the rest of my time then it isn't worth it.



It is unrealistic for the friend to expect the OP to hold every day of her vacation open for a possible visit.

 

[cillakat]

i think i'ts really reasonable to say "i can see that this is stressful for you. since this is our one vacation this year, we have a lot to fit in and i've really found what makes it doable....hence the priority seatings and breaks. but it's really important for me to see you and spend time with you . I really hope we can work this out in a way that's agreeable to us both. whatever we have to work out, we can. the implications regarding my daughter were inappropriate..... both of our girls are precious individuals with their own different strengths and comparisons will only serve to damage our relationship."

what about keeping your ADR's and playing it by ear.... sometimes it's hard for me to be flexible when i have a plan in mind. and it's hard to know when to stand my ground when i should....and know when it's best to give a little ground. it's just tricky.

last year (our first big family vacay at wdw), i was getting a lot of grief from my fammily about my planning...we (just me, dh and the girls) did one day my way and it worked well. then we did one day SIL's way (13 of us....) - it was a complete disaster.

after that, dh was glad to go a long with my theories. but it's different when it's dh v. a friend.

my best friend and i have different vacationing ideas and we almost had a disaster this summer on vacation - just she and i and our kids. in the end, i decided to chill a bit and let go of some of my preconceived ideas...once i started to chill, so did she.

it's tough. i guess the issue ends up being how important is this connection to you....and only you know. if it's really important, then you find a way to communicate about the inappropriate communication that's happened thus far, then find a way to move forward. even ppl with bipolar or anxiety disorders (or whatever her medical issue actually is) need to learn to put on the brakes and communicate appropriately through challenging issues....or at least to know when they're about to explode and say 'wait, i'm finding myself getting very upset about this...i need to take a break and we can talk about it tomorrow'. it's just unacceptable for her to 'go off' in such a manner. _completely_ inappropriate.

hugs for you
katherien in atl

 

[Luv4Disney]

So sorry for all your troubles. That's why DBF and I go alone. We know what we like and if we can't agree, we compromise, which is easy as it is only the two of us. Well, since you obviously can't do that I think you need to calmly tell her that this is your vacation and you need to plan it as you see fit. She does not need to spend every minute of the day with you. She is more than welcome to stay in the park while you take your midday break. You're spending your hard earned money to plan a vacation for you and your family. You need to spend it how you want, not how she wants. If she can't respect that, then why bother trying to meet up? She may be peeved at first, but if she really is a friend, then she should come around and understand where you're coming from. Hope that helps!

 

[HoneyPooh]

Actually I think the OP said that the friend had tried twice to get the date from the OP and the OP finally gave her the date not the other way around.
Anyway, the OP needs to do what she feels is right for her own family (such as breaks from the parks or sit down meal breaks). The friend seems frustrated that she is spending the money (at a bad time) to buy one day tickets to a park to spend time with the OP and the OP is going to leave for part of the day (also sounds like she isn't handeling her frustration at all well). It all comes down to how important spending the time with the friend is to the OP. Personally if I had 11 days and I called the person a friend, I would work out a doable plan and spend the time with my friend that day, but that's just me and everyone is different. Deciding you don't want to be bothered is fine but you may have a strained friendship over it at this point. Decide the importance and do what your gut tells you to.