Update on my Son w/Asperger's

[Luv Bunnies]

Many of you followed and offered advice on the story of my 12 year old son with Asperger's who started middle school this year. He had been doing pretty well in mainstream classes all through elementary school. But, middle school started out as a disaster. He was anxious and stressed all the time. The homework was overwhelming for him. The teachers were treating him like a bad kid instead of a kid with a disability and expecting him to perform at the same level as the other kids. Our IEP was not honored from the beginning of the year. He was supposed to have an aide from the first day and he didn't get one until almost a month into the year. Even then, the aide was pulled off yard-duty to work with him and had no previous experience working with special ed kids. Over the next 6 weeks, he had no fewer than 8 aides! They kept putting in temporary people or people who weren't trained and couldn't do the job properly.

We finally hired a special ed. lawyer in mid-October to help us sort out this mess and negotiate with the district for us. The special ed director finally relented and offered our son a private school placement. This school has a program strictly for kids with Asperger's and we were very impressed by the program when we visited.

Fast forward to today - our son has been in the school for almost 2 weeks. And the verdict is: He loves it! He gets up willingly to catch the bus (at 6:55 a.m. - ugh!). He comes home smiling and talks all about his teachers and the aides at the school. He says he finally feels like he's understood by his teachers. So far, they've given very little homework which is fine with us. We want him to stay in the routine of doing homework, but he needs some time to settle in and "heal" from his last experience.

Our entire household is so much more relaxed now that he's happy in school. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted! The expense of the attorney was absolutely worth every penny. That's my update for now. Thanks to everyone who has followed my story and offered comments and advice.

 

[Amy5000]

Congratulations!!! It's always nice to hear a story like that after hearing the heart-wrenching part. My DS is still small, but stories this these give me hope!

 

[pcparamedics01]

Wonderful Luvbunnies!!! I am sooo glad he is happy! That is truly the most important thing! Keep us posted! Did the District pay for his private placement?

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Wonderful Luvbunnies!!! I am sooo glad he is happy! That is truly the most important thing! Keep us posted! Did the District pay for his private placement?

Yes, the district is paying for the tuition and transportation to and from school. He gets picked up and dropped off right at our front door. It's great!

 

[pcparamedics01]

Yes, the district is paying for the tuition and transportation to and from school. He gets picked up and dropped off right at our front door. It's great!

Wow wonderful! Do you know when the District pays for private school they have totally screwed up and they pay in fear do of being sued? I have been in almost a due process case in another county so I know too well. Well now you know they did not do the right thing for your child when they volunteered to pay for private. It only happen in violation cases.Where they had more than one count no less. Anyway, it is your gain!!!! I am soo happy for you and your family!!!!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Wow wonderful! Do you know when the District pays for private school they have totally screwed up and they pay in fear do of being sued? I have been in almost a due process case in another county so I know too well. Well now you know they did not do the right thing for your child when they volunteered to pay for private. It only happen in violation cases.Where they had more than one count no less. Anyway, it is your gain!!!! I am soo happy for you and your family!!!!

You know, PC, I think you're right. The district was planning a "30-day diagnostic period" for my son. They were going to get him a full-time, qualified aide, modify classwork and homework and then evaluate to see if he could succeed in the mainstream program (these are all the things we were asking for from the beginning but it took a lawyer to get the district to agree). They had the aide hired and she was about to go through a 2-day training before starting with my son. The plan was drafted by our lawyer and we and the school district were ready to sign and implement it. On the Friday afternoon before it was supposed to begin, the special ed director called our lawyer and offered the private school. Prior to that, he was resisting the private placement and said we would check out nearby districts and our county's programs first. But, he offered the private school straight away. His explanation was that the diagnostic program would take a lot of resources and still might not have worked.

But we're all puzzled as to why he so willingly gave us the private school. I think the district's lawyers may have reviewed the case and realized how badly out of compliance they were. In any case, we're not going to argue about it! Our son is happy and so are we!

 

[pcparamedics01]

Wow wonderful! Do you know when the District pays for private school they have totally screwed up and they pay in fear do of being sued? I have been in almost a due process case in another county so I know too well. Well now you know they did not do the right thing for your child when they volunteered to pay for private. It only happen in violation cases.Where they had more than one count no less. Anyway, it is your gain!!!! I am soo happy for you and your family!!!!

You know, PC, I think you're right. But we're all puzzled as to why he so willingly gave us the private school. I think the district's lawyers may have reviewed the case and realized how badly out of compliance they were. In any case, we're not going to argue about it! Our son is happy and so are we!

The District would never pay for anything let alone a private school unless they were in violation. They willing gave you the private school because it was easier then being sued!!!!!! I know that the district did not do the right thing for your child. Take it and run! Until next year, they will regroup and concour or try to. The District hates to pay for anything! Be prepared that they will try to not pay it next year. Make sure you still have your IEP's in place for the District. Very important!!!!!! If you do not they can deny you for any reason. They will be looking for that!!!!

 

[da-winnie-pooh]

This has been a whole-lotta years ago, but I learned in college (education major, special-ed class) to never recommend a private school to a parent. Since the law guarantees a free and appropriate public education AND if the public schools aren't "appropriate", they might end up paying for a private school.

Good for you and your son!

 

[pcparamedics01]

This has been a whole-lotta years ago, but I learned in college (education major, special-ed class) to never recommend a private school to a parent. Since the law guarantees a free and appropriate public education AND if the public schools aren't "appropriate", they might end up paying for a private school.

Good for you and your son!

You are totally right about that. There was one teacher that recommended that a student needed more help. They were Chinese and my advocate said that the district had to pay to go to China and pay for the parents to fly back and forthe. Teachers cannot say anything anymore!!!

 

[KirstenB]

I'm so glad he loves his new school!! I was hoping everything would work out for y'all!!!

 

[JESW]

Yay for you and your family!!!

I could have written your post last year. I have a ds13 (7th grade) who is now in a program for kids with asperger's and he gets off to school every morning now without issue...he also has a driver...also says the teachers understand him...has friends who are like him and who understand him...etc. His placement has made a HUGE difference in all of our lives. I hope that things continue to go well for your son and you can finally breathe... When ds went to his new school I felt like I had gotten part of my life back.

Jill

 

[Schmeck]

Wow wonderful! Do you know when the District pays for private school they have totally screwed up and they pay in fear do of being sued? I have been in almost a due process case in another county so I know too well. Well now you know they did not do the right thing for your child when they volunteered to pay for private. It only happen in violation cases.Where they had more than one count no less. Anyway, it is your gain!!!! I am soo happy for you and your family!!!!

While I'm also thrilled for the success that the OP's son is having (I'd love to visit this school to get pointers, etc!) I'm really offended but the above opinion - which is not the OP, BTW. It might be an opinion, but it's not a true statement. We have many children in our school district that have been placed in private schools and residential schools and we were not even close to being sued or in violation of an IEP. These children were placed out of district because it was the best place for them, and we could not offer the services they needed in our school building.

If this is how other districts work, I feel very sorry for the families that have to fight the fight, but the attitude that all districts do this sticks a big, fat wedge between the parents and the school, when they really need to work as a team.

 

[pcparamedics01]

While I'm also thrilled for the success that the OP's son is having (I'd love to visit this school to get pointers, etc!) I'm really offended but the above opinion - which is not the OP, BTW. It might be an opinion, but it's not a true statement. We have many children in our school district that have been placed in private schools and residential schools and we were not even close to being sued or in violation of an IEP. These children were placed out of district because it was the best place for them, and we could not offer the services they needed in our school building.

If this is how other districts work, I feel very sorry for the families that have to fight the fight, but the attitude that all districts do this sticks a big, fat wedge between the parents and the school, when they really need to work as a team.

Hi Schmeck!

If you have followed her son's issue they were totally in violation in every respect. She hired an Atty and got things done for her child. The District is in no way shape or form going to volunteer to pay for 20Kto 30K or so for a private Apergers school just because they feel it is just. They did not support her child at all. Period..... If they do that in Maine the District could be out of business. Think about it ASD is 1 in 166.