Unwanted attention from the rainbow Magic Band on a child?

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LAS2AMS

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Aug 9, 2006
But following your logic, schools should discontinue their music, choir, drama and other fine arts programs and focus on football, soccer and other sports, because the artistic kids are sometimes bullied.
Pulling some statistics from a 2016 NYT article (the latest I could find statistics from a reputable source): nearly 4-in-5 LGBTQ high school students feel lonely and isolated, one-in-five report have no friends at all (compared to less than 5% of straight high school students); two-thirds feel unsafe at school (nearly a fifth have reported skipping school because of it); nearly half have serious thoughts of suicide and almost one-quarter attempt it (compared to less than 5% of straight teens).

And you want to compare the bulling/harassment to that of "band nerds?"
 

Chuck S

DVC Co-Moderator
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Bullying is bullying, no matter the reason. But you seem to be saying to make choices that will help you avoid being bullied, whether it be dropping music classes, or not wearing the magic band you want to wear.

Disney is a safe place to wear the magic band, which again, is what the OPs question was about. Posting photos of yourself while vacationing on social media is not a requirement. Photos are easily cropped, and most photos really don't show the close details of the magic bands. Most teens are not going to post those "uncool" photos of vacationing with their parents, anyway. If they do, select who can see them, limit it to family and close friends.
 

Itsnotmykitchen

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Joined
Jul 2, 2018
I’m not gay but I was a deeply self-conscious and fairly neurotic 12 year old who would have immediately switched to a solid colored band if my mom made any comment about another choice so I would just advise to get him the band without comment. The chances of anybody commenting about it in the park are really really low.
 

LAS2AMS

Mouseketeer
Joined
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Bullying is bullying, no matter the reason. But you seem to be saying to make choices that will help you avoid being bullied, whether it be dropping music classes, or not wearing the magic band you want to wear.
People of all ages feel the need to tease, taunt, harass and/or ridicule others for various reasons; we package this behavior as "bulling," and no, not all "bullying" is equal. In my previous posting, I listed some statistics, but let's focus on the splits for males only: 3% identify as GBTQ (as opposed to 9% of females identifying as LGBTQ), over 90% report regularly being called slurs, over 70% feel uncomfortable at school, over 40% seriously consider suicide at some point, etc. I can't stress that last statistic enough -- over 40% of GBTQ males in grade school report having serious thoughts of suicide at some point (during their youth). Do you believe that anywhere close to 40% of "band nerds" try the same?

I'm straight, but as I discussed above, I was bullied for being "that gay kid" in school. It was insanely vicious - I had no friends. My former friends no longer wanted to be friends with me, my peers would protest having to sit next to me, I sat alone during lunch, and everybody was afraid of even talking to me in fear of being labeled themselves.

Disney is a safe place to wear the magic band, which again, is what the OPs question was about. Posting photos of yourself while vacationing on social media is not a requirement. Photos are easily cropped, and most photos really don't show the close details of the magic bands. Most teens are not going to post those "uncool" photos of vacationing with their parents, anyway. If they do, select who can see them, limit it to family and close friends.
Now this is silly. Firstly, it's called due diligence - she was concerned about one aspect, but may not have been aware of another, which would impact a rational person's decision. No different that what occurs in many threads on this forum on a daily basis. Secondly, any kid is going to post pictures of their summer vacation (although those pictures won't usually include mom & dad). If he's unaware of the significance of the rainbow, or how people may respond to him coming out, why on Earth would he crop the photos???
 

Chuck S

DVC Co-Moderator
Moderator
Joined
Feb 6, 2000
Now this is silly. Firstly, it's called due diligence - she was concerned about one aspect, but may not have been aware of another, which would impact a rational person's decision. No different that what occurs in many threads on this forum on a daily basis. Secondly, any kid is going to post pictures of their summer vacation (although those pictures won't usually include mom & dad). If he's unaware of the significance of the rainbow, or how people may respond to him coming out, why on Earth would he crop the photos???
I don't know why you believe a 12 year old is going to plaster family vacation photos on the internet. The two 12 year olds in my family have pretty limited internet access. Their only social media is limited to their family and very best friends, that the parents have known for years. That is why apps and devices have parental control options. I understand that you were traumatized as a child, but that doesn't mean this child will be. We should assume that his parent(s) know their child, and are responsible people. If they weren't, they likely would not have asked the question here in the first place.

If, on the other hand, he has full internet access, he likely already knows the significance of the rainbow and has read accounts of how people may react, both good and bad.
 
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kylenne

Wakandan-American
Joined
Oct 16, 2016
People of all ages feel the need to tease, taunt, harass and/or ridicule others for various reasons; we package this behavior as "bulling," and no, not all "bullying" is equal. In my previous posting, I listed some statistics, but let's focus on the splits for males only: 3% identify as GBTQ (as opposed to 9% of females identifying as LGBTQ), over 90% report regularly being called slurs, over 70% feel uncomfortable at school, over 40% seriously consider suicide at some point, etc. I can't stress that last statistic enough -- over 40% of GBTQ males in grade school report having serious thoughts of suicide at some point (during their youth). Do you believe that anywhere close to 40% of "band nerds" try the same?

I'm straight, but as I discussed above, I was bullied for being "that gay kid" in school. It was insanely vicious - I had no friends. My former friends no longer wanted to be friends with me, my peers would protest having to sit next to me, I sat alone during lunch, and everybody was afraid of even talking to me in fear of being labeled themselves.



Now this is silly. Firstly, it's called due diligence - she was concerned about one aspect, but may not have been aware of another, which would impact a rational person's decision. No different that what occurs in many threads on this forum on a daily basis. Secondly, any kid is going to post pictures of their summer vacation (although those pictures won't usually include mom & dad). If he's unaware of the significance of the rainbow, or how people may respond to him coming out, why on Earth would he crop the photos???
Dude I'm sorry you were bullied but I really don't know how else to tell you that 1) literally nobody is looking at random kids' magic bands at Disney Parks 2) no 12 year old in 2020 is posting pics of themselves with their families on anything 3) please stop projecting your experiences on other people.
 
  • LAS2AMS

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 9, 2006
    I don't know why you believe a 12 year old is going to plaster family vacation photos on the internet. The two 12 year olds in my family have pretty limited internet access. Their only social media is limited to their family and very best friends, that the parents have known for years. That is why apps and devices have parental control options. I understand that you were traumatized as a child, but that doesn't mean this child will be. We should assume that his parent(s) know their child, and are responsible people. If they weren't, they likely would not have asked the question here in the first place.

    If, on the other hand, he has full internet access, he likely already knows the significance of the rainbow and has read accounts of how people may react, both good and bad.
    I draft my responses not for the OP's benefit, but for the benefit of the community, to stimulate thinking of those reading this thread who may find themselves in similar situations. As I previously mentioned, I feel as if many of the responses are too Disneyfied (e.g. 'be proud of yourself'), and lack reality (ignoring the consequences). Everybody is welcome to their own opinion and to offer ther own advice, but my fault with yours is that it's based on feeling and not fact.

    o At work, I remind my staff all the time that assumptions are dangerous, and you should never assume anything unless there's no alternative AND your confidence level is high. Neither scenario exists here. Last summer, my local Apple store had an Apple Watch with a rainbow band on display, and it drew the attention of oodles of kids. Most of these kids were clueless as to the meaning of the display or band... but kids are naturally attracted to vibrant colors, and Gen Z wants to be different, so a rainbow band will stand out.

    o According to 2019 surveys conducted by Pew Research and Ed Week, 69% of 12yo report having their own smartphone, 85% report having an active social media account and more than half report having at least one account their parents don't know about. Meanwhile, 80% of parents surveyed admit they don't routinely monitor their kids online habits. To put that in perspective... more 12yo report having accessed (e.g. downloading, not actively using) an app like Tinder and Grinder, than those who reported they don't use social media.

    o We need to stop pretending that we live in an equitable society and that strong homophobia doesn't exist. I posted the statistics above. Even if the kid is indeed gay, he may not be ready to come out, or may not be ready to handle the reactions he could face. Mom and dad are suppose to be parents. Personally, I find it troubling how many people on here wouldn't talk to their kid about the situation. Talking to your kids... can solve or prevent a lot of problems. And not just this one.

    Dude I'm sorry you were bullied but I really don't know how else to tell you that 1) literally nobody is looking at random kids' magic bands at Disney Parks 2) no 12 year old in 2020 is posting pics of themselves with their families on anything 3) please stop projecting your experiences on other people.
    I didn't make the assertion you listed as "1)." And your second point is refuted by facts. Also, please stick to the argument and not the person, no need to make this personal. Thanks.
     

    Chuck S

    DVC Co-Moderator
    Moderator
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    Feb 6, 2000
    And then again, most of the time, a rainbow has no significance at all. It's just a rainbow. And religious folks often consider it a symbol of God's Biblical promise to not bring another world wide flood.

    You're way overthinking this. It's just a magic band. There are times to over analyze. The color of a kids magic band isn't one of those times.
     

    Numtini

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Nov 3, 2017
    Is anyone else here a parent? Every 12 year old knows that a rainbow is a symbol of the LGBT community. This is 2020.
     

    LAS2AMS

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Aug 9, 2006
    And then again, most of the time, a rainbow has no significance at all. It's just a rainbow. And religious folks often consider it a symbol of God's Biblical promise to not bring another world wide flood.

    You're way overthinking this. It's just a magic band. There are times to over analyze. The color of a kids magic band isn't one of those times.
    You're playing your argument both ways -- in some of your postings, you assert that every kid knows the significant of the rainbow, whereas in others you insist it's just a rainbow and people wouldn't give it a second thought. Unfortunately, we don't live in a Disneyfied world, where a kid comes out and mom, dad & friends hug him and say 'we love you just the way you are' while tear inducing music plays. A 2018 WP article notes that more than half of all parents with an LGBTQ teen admit they have a hard time accepting it, nearly half of all teens and young adults who are homeless identify as LGBTQ (despite accounting for 7% of the population and 96% of LGBTQ acknowledge losing friends after they came out -- 88% of which were a close friend. While looking this up, I came across a recent article in the OCR in which a girl claims her straight best friend started a gay-straight alliance at her (unidentified) school, and when the girl came out, her straight best friend shunned her friendship because she didn't want others to assume she was a lesbian. We're talking about what's going on TODAY, not the 1950s when the government was producing anti-gay propaganda for screening in schools. We live in a cruel world.

    Whether the kid doesn't know the meaning of the rainbow, or he's using it as a step to come out, his parents need to have a discussion with him, to make sure he's ready. That's simply common sense, an it's sad how many disagree.

    Is anyone else here a parent? Every 12 year old knows that a rainbow is a symbol of the LGBT community. This is 2020.
    Again, we're making false assumptions here. Facts help -- I can find a source from 2018 that observed a school's sixth grade sex education class (so 11/12yo) and when discussing gay pride, not even half the kids knew about the rainbow. And this is in Northern California. I would bet that in the majority of school districts (not to be confused with the majority of students) around the country, homosexuality isn't even discussed. Even in moderate communities, topics like homosexuality, condoms, birth control, etc. are completely off limits.

    And of course, about one-in-five parents tightly control what their kids see and hear. Heck, I have a friend who refused to let her kids watch Sponge Bob because it was too violent.
     
  • lorenae

    I'm going to Disney World!
    Joined
    Sep 12, 2015
    I already ordered my magicbands, but darn it now I want a rainbow one.

    I’m straight, and taking my two grandsons to WDW in May.

    First of all, I like rainbows. The whole “pot of gold”, “Noah” and support of LGBT.

    Kids draw rainbows in school. Sometimes a rainbow is just a rainbow.

    What I think I really really need may be a rainbow T-shirt with “Mom hugs” on it. If there is anyone who is ostracized by family for any reason (but most seem to be LGBT related), I would like to let them know that they are special and valuable.

    I’m glad we’re having this discussion.
     

    Chuck S

    DVC Co-Moderator
    Moderator
    Joined
    Feb 6, 2000
    You're playing your argument both ways -- in some of your postings, you assert that every kid knows the significant of the rainbow, whereas in others you insist it's just a rainbow and people wouldn't give it a second thought.
    You're running in circles. People can know the significance of a rainbow to LGBT, the same people also know the significance in religion, and they can also realize, that MUCH OF THE TIME, a rainbow IS just a rainbow. It isn't an either or, there are multiple meanings depending upon situation and context. You are arguing that there is only one.
     

    disneychrista

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Dec 26, 2002
    So one should avoid where "colors" also, So they are not assumed to be associated as a gang member.

    Rainbows, Red, Blue, Purple, etc all mean MORE THAN ONE THING.

    Years ago I bought a rainbow mickey antenna ball. I am not gay, none of my friends or family are gay and I wasn't trying to show my support for those that are (though I do). I bought for no other reason than because I liked it.
     

    pirate33

    Mouseketeer
    DVC Gold
    Joined
    Aug 3, 2014
    Is anyone else here a parent? Every 12 year old knows that a rainbow is a symbol of the LGBT community. This is 2020.
    This! No way he doesn’t already know and, if not, why not just say it’s cool for him to wear it and does he know the rainbow can be a symbol of gay rights. This may be his way of starting a discussion or coming out and it’s an opportunity to show openness.
     

    erika.amicucci

    a model citizen.
    Joined
    May 7, 2020
    I think he should be just fine. When I was about 10 I got the rainbow mickey head pin and put it on my pin lanyard because I thought it was cute. I never once had anyone say anything (good or bad) to me about it, and I used to wear that thing all over the parks.
     

    wilbret

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Aug 1, 2018
    Just here to say that my 10 year old loves rainbow stuff, and I frankly don't care if anyone has anything to say about it. He collects every rainbow pin he finds, for instance. All that is to say, folks like me have got your back, whether you are wearing it to show your pride or wearing it because you like rainbows.
     

    Tarilyn

    Earning My Ears
    Joined
    Aug 3, 2015
    Thanks for the comments! I fear I may be overthinking things in my efforts to make sure he is OK with things, whether it affects him directly or if he is simply a supporter of the community like me. I think you are right....he likes the Magic Band and it is a great opportunity to instill some positive values about supporting others. He's a pretty caring little dude so we'll have a good talk and he can wear his happy new Magic Band!
    He is still a kid. Buy it!
     
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