Unusual Requests on an Invitation

[leighe]

I think it's tacky to mention gifts in a wedding invitation in any way whatever.

 

[Lyn5]

I have been to weddings where there is a concern that the cards will be stolen so usually people have someone sit by the entrance table with the cards. It isn't the bride or a close family member, maybe a teenage cousin or friend. I have also seen an invitation where the happy couple asked directly for money and had their bank account number and bank name on the invitation...I thought that was the rudest thing ever

My cousin once sent out an invitation for her wedding. She was a little older as was her groom and they had lived together for years and couldn't have children, so in her invitation she added an insert that said all they wanted was to enjoy their wedding with their family and close friends and they don't need anything, so please bring yourself and no gift. I still took a card with money, but I thought that was a sweet thought.

 

[lulugirl]

I do think it's good advice, but to include it on the wedding invitation is VERY tacky IMO.

 

[ead79]

I do think it's good advice, but to include it on the wedding invitation is VERY tacky IMO.

I totally agree. It is considered improper etiquette to refer to gifts (cash or otherwise) in a wedding invitation. It implies that guests are expected to bring a gift, not just invited for the pleasure of their company. While it is certainly customary to give a wedding gift, it’s rude for the bride/groom to imply that they expect it.

 

[Regina]

My nephew didn't include any mention of gifts in his invitation, but his mom (my sister) provided a gift box for envelopes at the reception. (The bride's Mom is deceased.) She gave it to their caterer.

I guess they weren't familiar with envelope boxes. They stationed an employee near the entrance with it. As we walked in, she thrust the box at us, LOL. I was a bit surprised, but I dug out the envelope and dropped it in.

Since my sister was busy taking family pix and arrived later, she had no idea this was happening. She was mortified when she saw "box lady", but by that time, almost everyone was there.

DD is getting married on the 12th. I forgot about the envelope box. Add another "note to self" to get this taken care of. Maybe I'll ask my sister if she'll stand by the door with it.

 

[hugsquared]

Please tell me this invitation wasn't sent out from the South....because folks around here would skip the wedding if they got a note like that on the invite!!!

Wow, I kind of take offense that you think only tacky people reside in the South. I was born and raised in the South and would never find that wording on an invitation appropriate.
But I've been sick as a dog since yesterday and have had very little sleep so maybe I'm being a little over sensetive.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Wow, I kind of take offense that you think only tacky people reside in the South. I was born and raised in the South and would never find that wording on an invitation appropriate.
But I've been sick as a dog since yesterday and have had very little sleep so maybe I'm being a little over sensetive.

I think you mis-read the post. I think the person you quoted was saying that if a Southerner got that invitation, they'd skip the wedding, not assuming it was a Southerner who sent the invitation.

 

[hugsquared]

I think you mis-read the post. I think the person you quoted was saying that if a Southerner got that invitation, they'd skip the wedding, not assuming it was a Southerner who sent the invitation.

You know what, you're absolutely right. My apologies to Raffiki. I told you, I have had a bad, bad tummy flu for about 36 hours now and playing on the internet is my only form of entertainment. I'm sorry. Maybe I just need to go back to bed LOL. Some Pixie Dust for this Southern girl whose under the weather???? Please!

 

[DawnCt1]

Not just stealing... It is very easy amid all thats happening for a bride or a groom to misplace the card. If there is cash in there, its as good as gone, if its a check written out specifically to the bride and groom, the check can be cancelled if need be.


I think its a little tacky, but I understand it.

I for one, as a gift giver, would be annoyed if I had to place a cancelled check request for $15, only good for one year, IF the bride or groom was so careless as to lose the check. Cash or check. I will give it once. Lose it, its as good as gone!

 

[NCRedding]

hugsquared: Just a little "Steel Magnolia" coming out today! As we say in the south "Bless your heart". Hope you get to feeling better.

As to the Original post: I think it is tacky.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Weddings in our neighborhood all have "that aunt" that holds the envelopes for you, she sits at the table all evening, doesn't even take a washroom break; in case you can't spot her, she usually the one with the moustache

 

[diznygirl]

Yes, the note was tacky. I actually liked getting cash in our wedding cards. We opened all our cards on our wedding night, and took all the cash with us on our honeymoon!

 

[jel0511]

are brides and grooms getting ripped off these days at their own weddings??

It happened at my SIL's wedding. All their wedding cards were stolen out of the birdcage the catering hall provided for people to drop the cards into. There was a lot of cash in there. The catering hall did reimburse them for all the cash stolen and for all the stop payment fees eveyone who wrote checks has to pay.

 

[barkley]

i think the note is tacky as well, but then i don't care for wedding invitiations that list where the bride and groom are registered (if i want to know i can inquire).

i do recall that at our wedding there was a guest (according to the guest book) that i could not match a wedding gift to, but i did not want to be late in sending a thank-you note so i sent a note saying "thank you for your generosity in sharing our special day". completly forgot about it...until about 2 years later when my mil wore the same suit she wore at our wedding and found the card (with cash) the guest had given her to give to us! she called the guest (a friend of hers) to apologize and they had a good laugh over it (her friend said she had given many gifts and not received a thank-you note, but this was the first time the opposite had happened).

whatever happened to the tradition of sending the gifts before the wedding to the bride's home?

 

[princess pooh]

My brother was the official card keeper at my wedding. DH and I would give him the cards we received and he would run them up to the safe in the room. I felt bad that he was missing out on some fun but I've heard some real horror stories about gift theft.

I was worried that we'd have problems depositing our cheques since they were made out to every name imaginable. I didn't change my name and some were made out to my first name and DH's last name. Luckily the bank didn't give us trouble. I agree that while the advice in the invitation was good, you really shouldn't mention gifts at all in there!

The tackiest invitation I've seen said "monetary gifts only"! Not even a please or thank you . My mom would string me up by my ears if I ever tried to pull something like that!

 

[Jen_in_NH]

When DH and I got married last year, we did have 2 of our aunts babysit the table. Some friends of ours had all of their cards stolen a few months previously from their wedding, and we didn't want the same thing to happen. I don't think I'd write anything like that on the invitation, but I might mention to a few people that cash might not be the greatest idea (given the other couple's bad luck)

Jen

 

[bigmerle1966]

Maybe the person who sent the invite had something like that happen or knew someone it happened to.

Sadly people will steal anything. I work for a childcare program that runs programs in Elementary School cafeterias and I don't know how many times the staff has taken the kids outside and come back to find that the telephone has been stolen. Mind you these phones are cheap, and in some cases were old and beat up. They get plugged in and unplugged two times a day, five days a week.

 

[Disney Doll]

My in-laws got an invite many years ago from a couple who had been living together for quite some time, so they didn't really need any of the household things or china etc. that one might get at a wedding. They requested that on the invitation that everyone contribute to the "build us a house" fund. I kid you not...my DFIL sent them a brick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My DMIL, of course, sent them a card with a check, but I often wonder if they "got" my DFIL's message, or just thought he was being a jokester?

 

[MrsNick]

Their idea probably has good intentions, but I always thought it was proper etiquette not to mention gifts in a invitation unless it's for a shower.

I thought so, too. I was married two and a half years ago and would not have felt comfortable including this in the invitation.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

My in-laws got an invite many years ago from a couple who had been living together for quite some time, so they didn't really need any of the household things or china etc. that one might get at a wedding. They requested that on the invitation that everyone contribute to the "build us a house" fund. I kid you not...my DFIL sent them a brick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My DMIL, of course, sent them a card with a check, but I often wonder if they "got" my DFIL's message, or just thought he was being a jokester?

A brick!! I love it-that is so funny! Good for your DFIL!!