Unusual child support VENT!

[mudnuri]

This might seem odd, but the state has really ticked me off.

My X pays his child support through the state. They have decided that it's time for a review. Fine, both him and i fill out our share of paperwork with our incomes/expenses etc. Alls well.

Today- we get in the mail (we both got the same thing) that his child support MAY be going up from 411.92/mo to 560.00/mo. Yup, thats $150 increase..

So I'm readin the paperwork and it has two pages

1st page is calculation for SOLE custody- says on that the kids are with me 100% and with him ZERO %

Has his gross and then 'Monthly after tax income" let's say its 2,000.00 at the bottom it states Parental Support Obligation $560.00

Turn to page 2, says- SHARED custody- me 60% him 40%

Has is gross, and then his monthly after tax income- WHICH is listed the MORE than his gross- off by about $500.00 so now at the bottom it says "parental share obligation 1,027.50 and then there is a credit for time he has the kids- listed as $411.00 which brings his new monthly obligation to 616.50

Now, you read that correctly- sole custody he pays less than shared according to these two papers. Here's the real kicker- we dont have sole custody never had never will. We have always had shared.

In redoing their calculations with the correct 'net income" i've come up with $428.00 per month, after his $411 deduction..which seems more like it, since his income hasnt changed LOL

So I call him and we talk about it- this is unacceptable to us, we dont want to go to court again, and this time its the state taking him, not me. What the state doesnt take into account is that in order for him to pay upwards of $600 a month, he's going to have not see the kids as much. He's been driving truck, thankfully for his brother who understands he has to come in late every monday, leave early every wednesday, come in late every thursday and leave early every other friday LOL...imagine a regular boss being presented those restrictions.

Basically we have decided that we will get a lawyer and though it's not me, I will be going to court with him, on his side and try to pleade with the judge to understand how much time he spends with his kids and the fact that he is not a deadbeat dad etc. They dont' care that when its time for the kids to get new clothes, its his money I am spending, (that he gives me above support) or that we split every thing the kids have to have money for- ie field trips, sports etc..

I only wish they would spend more time helping those parents that need assistance in finding deadbeats!

Brandy

 

[lowie]

isn't the system just plain old screwy??
i'm actually the only person i know who gets a child support payment every single month like clockwork and i DON'T want it! my dh has adopted our dd and her bio-father has no reason to pay.. well, except that the courts failed to cancel the court order... grrrrr

 

[poohandwendy]

I just have to give you props for working together to solve these issues and being respectful of each other in the process. Hats off to you! What a great example for your DD!

Abd I hope you can get this sorted out quickly!

 

[mudnuri]

I just have to give you props for working together to solve these issues and being respectful of each other in the process. Hats off to you! What a great example for your DD!

Abd I hope you can get this sorted out quickly!

Thanks! It's not always easy but one of us ends up saying "wait, we're suppose to get along".. LOL...and then we start laughing. Counseling I guess is where that came from!

Brandy

 

[WendyDarling]

If it is going to cost one of you a lot of money for an atty, would it be more cost effective to send him some money back each time you get a check to get it back down to the regular amount until the time of the next review - and hope that things might be straightened out then??

And lowie, here's another one in that exact boat. Since the adoption was 'closed', they can't get a copy of the correct paperwork, so they just said, 'oh well' and decided to take the stance that I was lying about the adoption. What a mess!

 

[mudnuri]

If it is going to cost one of you a lot of money for an atty, would it be more cost effective to send him some money back each time you get a check to get it back down to the regular amount until the time of the next review - and hope that things might be straightened out then??

And lowie, here's another one in that exact boat. Since the adoption was 'closed', they can't get a copy of the correct paperwork, so they just said, 'oh well' and decided to take the stance that I was lying about the adoption. What a mess!

I dont think it will cost that much, we'll use the same attorney that drew up our custody agreement etc. Should be nothing more than an hour- then if we have to go to court thats it.

I dont want to just pay him back- because if we do it that way- come next year or whenever they do it again, his income will be higher. This time, the income didnt change- and they calculated it wrong...my figures should be 428 based on their own calculations with the right numbers.

I just hate to think of how much money they waste on crap like this. When there are so many more important issue's etc... people who are like 30K back, etc... shesh!

brandy

 

[WonderfulDreamer2]

If it is going to cost one of you a lot of money for an atty, would it be more cost effective to send him some money back each time you get a check to get it back down to the regular amount until the time of the next review - and hope that things might be straightened out then??

And lowie, here's another one in that exact boat. Since the adoption was 'closed', they can't get a copy of the correct paperwork, so they just said, 'oh well' and decided to take the stance that I was lying about the adoption. What a mess!

That would be my suggestion. You could monthly just give it back to him. The courts have no say in you giving him money. Or save it up so that once or twice a year, he gets his whole payment back...kind of like Christmas. It's nice to see parents who work for the good of the child and not seeing who can turn the knife the fastest.

 

[lyzziesmom]

Wow I only wish I had this problem. I have sole custody of my 2 girls, and between them both I am lucky to receive $168 a month. 2 different exes, one pays most of the time (actually I suspect it's his parents sending the check), the other we haven't seen or heard from since DD2 was 2 months old.

"I only wish they would spend more time helping those parents that need assistance in finding deadbeats!"

It's people like me who need the kind of help you are talking about.

 

[robinb]

I just have to give you props for working together to solve these issues and being respectful of each other in the process. Hats off to you! What a great example for your DD!

Me too! You both sound like great parents. I hope things get worked out soon. You could always "rebate" your ex some accounting for taxes if nothing else.

 

[mudnuri]

"I only wish they would spend more time helping those parents that need assistance in finding deadbeats!"

It's people like me who need the kind of help you are talking about.

If you move up here, I"ll give you my child support case worker!

Seriously though- this type of thing irritates me....UGH!

brandy

 

[wilderness01]

Kuddos to you both for working together. It's a great example to kids.

 

[Disney Doll]

I just have to give you props for working together to solve these issues and being respectful of each other in the process. Hats off to you! What a great example for your DD!

Abd I hope you can get this sorted out quickly!

I second this. What a gift for your DD. Good luck with getting this sorted out.

If the state won't back off, couldn't he just give you a check for the amount they insist on and then you give him a check for the differnece back? That way he has a record of paying what he's supposed to, but in actuality he is paying what you guys think is fair. So, if the state says $500, and you guys say $400, let him give you a check for $500 and then you give him back a check for $100, so in actuality he's paying $400. Stupid, I realize, but it would sort of solve the problem without a lot of wrangling with the state.

 

[SillyMe]

Is there any way you can cancel the order and have him just pay you directly? I didn't go to Domestic Relations for my child support. I printed the formula off their website and figured out an estimate of what I would receive. He agreed to pay it. I know that it's less than I would be receiving had I gone thru the state, but I made a deal with him that I wouldn't go to DR if he paid me the amt I came up with.

I hate dealing with DR. The office in my county did absolutely nothing for me when my dd15's "donor" (yes, that's all he's entitled to be called) owed me $8,000. Must be the same county Lyzziesmom is in. Grrrr.

 

[mudnuri]

I think we could change it, but it was part of our original agreement, back then his family wasnt being as honest as the could have been about his ability to pay. Family owned business etc.. therefore, I had no choice but to go through this. We've now become friends, after counseling etc..

Neither of us has any issue of using the state for the payments, but its the fact that they have his income listed as $500 more per month than it is, and maybe it will be as easy as calling them on that mistake. Your Net income can't be more than your Gross income...I guess the computer didnt catch that typo? Who knows, we'll find out Monday whats going on.

I reminded him that without a court order the child support office can NOT change the amount he has to pay, so until a judge or majistrate tells us the amount has changed, he will continue to pay the 411.92 that has been court ordered.

Hopefully it will work out in the end....if not, we'll have to figure something out! The idea of paying it back to him will be a last resort, we need to fix the income listed first...

Brandy