Unmarried by 41???

[pnelson]

Do you think a man who has never married by the age of 41 has committment issues, in general???

 

[Steve H.]

Maybe and maybe not -- depending on the person. I have friends that'll likely be single by that age and I don't think they have commitment problems, just that they're settled into their lives and not actively looking for a mate. I do, however, know others who have been in a lot of relationships and not gotten married -- most of them I would say have problems with commitment.

 

[CEDmom]

No, I think it could mean he has other priorities or hasn't found the right partner. My DH and I didn't get married until 6mo AFTER his 40th b'day. We'll be celebrating our 9th anniversary next month. BTW, he was a cradle robber

 

[MICKEY88]

could just be too picky....or might not be interested in marriage...some people prefer to stay single..

 

[aprincessmom]

No. And I agree with what Steve said...

I do, however, know others who have been in a lot of relationships and not gotten married -- most of them I would say have problems with commitment.

 

[luvwinnie]

he does not want to get married?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I suppose it depends on the circumstances involved. If for example he has a girlfriend that he loves and is his "steady" & she wants to marry and he will not, I say yes there may be committment issues.

 

[goofygirl]

No, that's just a stereotype. The never married man is a "bachelor who won't settle down" while the never married woman is a "spinster no man wants or a closet lesbian."

I thought nobody held these sterotypes anymore, but I guess they do.

 

[tkyes]

I would say in general, no.

Every person is different though. He could be single by choice, single because he hasn't met the right person, single because he's a psycho (only kidding!).

Are you going to tell us why you ask? (yes, I'm nosy )


Tamie

 

[pnelson]

I was just pschyo analyzing an old boyfriend who is 41 and has never been married and seems to have been in and out of relationships-That's his pattern. I'm married, so I'm not asking for me-I'm just curious. I do think that at 41, never having been married is a bit of a red flag. Just curious what the general opinion is.

 

[bsnyder]

In general? No.

But specific men I know, absolutely yes!

My cousin, whom I'm very close to (more like a brother) just got married at age 44. He'd be the first to admit he has long had "commitment" issues. There's a baby already on the way, and I just pray that he really has worked out those issues permanently.

 

[Margie J]

There are lots of reasons why men or women may not be married by that age.

In my Dad's case he had a steady girlfriend while in his 30's. When his Mom got very ill he took over much of her care and that relationship ended. A few years after his Mom died he was introduced to my Mother and marriage soon followed.

while the never married woman is a "spinster no man wants or a closet lesbian."

I'd HOPE that some man wants me and no I am not a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with it).

I had to chuckle at the quote above since I've been getting weird comments from certain people for years. Is it better that I enter a bad marriage, or several, just to satisfy some people's expectations or do I continue to wait?

Another thing is not wanting kids as a reason for my singleness is way far from the truth in my case also.

 

[disykat]

In general I would assume they haven't met the right person at the right time - unless I knew him well enough to make other guesses which are really none of my business. I admit I get snoopy about why people make the choices they do, but my siister is 42 an not married yet. It's totally because she hasn't met the right person. There was really only one guy she considered marrying and they were still in college and not ready at that point.

 

[LadyAurora]

In general, no. My best friend just married (almost one year ago) a man who was 41 at the time. He had been in only one serious relationship before, but I think it was because he is the kind of man that doesn't trifle with others' feelngs. He was waiting for Ms. Right, and why bother with anyone else? Of course, maybe I'm biased, since Ms. Right was my best pal!

 

[Nutsy]

No I don't. My DB is 48 in October & is still single. Not that he chose it that way, but he's never found the right girl & he did get hurt pretty bad some years ago, when the girl he loved was two timing him & married his best mate.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by goofygirl
while the never married woman is a "spinster no man wants or a closet lesbian."

I thought nobody held these sterotypes anymore, but I guess they do.

Apparently my parents are some of those people. I was recently informed that they were discussing the possibility of my being a lesbian. I'm not even 30 yet!

 

[ebaynut31]

I am a 33 yo woman who is not married but I have a perfect relationship with my 10yo daughter and I don't want to mess that up. I am not a lesbian but I have no bf at the moment and don't see anyone in my near future.

My mr. right is somewhere. Even if I find him, I may not marry him. We can just be together forever.

Although, If I do get married, you are ALL invited!

 

[ryanpatricksmom]

I would think that a 41 year old man that had been married several times would be more likely to be the one with committment issues.

 

[Porter]

"Committment" - what's that?