Unhappy Wife..

[quinns-mommy]

OMG! That was my dh on our first family trip to Disney, last week! All I kept hearing was "this is my vacation, if I want to do nothing all day, that's what I'm going to do." "That Halloween party was stupid. I can't believe you paid XXX to go." "It's too hot.... That line's too long, just forget it... I told you we should've left the baby at home (because he didn't want to wait while dd and I got on a ride, with a fastpass. I was nice enough to let him ride the most and I didn't think it was that big of a deal at all. Leave my baby at home NOT!)... Complain, complain, and complain some more... and talk about LAZY! He didn't lift a finger for anything, I packed and unpacked, and made everything ready for me, dd, and ds, before, during, and after the trip... and cleaned up after his mess... and still, he found stuff to complain about! If I hadn't already booked our Disney cruise for next year, I'd leave him at home!

I feel your pain. You are not alone.

Maybe it was something in the air last week. We were down there at the same time! All I kept seeing was the "perfect" husbands that loved being there, that kept smiling at their wives/children who were just as excited to be there as the rest of the family. All I could do was get upset and wonder why my hubby couldn't be like them.
Thanks for everyone that has responded. It honestly makes me feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only Disney lover that has to go through this non-sense.
On a lighter note, I finally got over it yesterday. What's done is done, there is nothing I can do to go back and change anything, our "vacation" is over and done with. All I know is that I will never take so much time planning a vacation again. Especially knowing that it even has a possibility of turning out like this one. Oh and, next year, I'm going by myself! It's going to be a girls trip! Anyone interested??

 

[MyTwoPrincesses]

Find them a GRUMPY tshirt and make them wear it in the parks!

LOL! Last month I was at the Disney store and I almost did just that to give him for the trip but I didn't feel like waiting in the loooooong line just for a t-shirt so I didn't get it. I was SO tempted though. I told DH about it and he laughed and promised not to be a grump while we're down there. But we'll see...

 

[Echo queen]

He should care about your feelings and maybe fake it a little to keep Mama happy. We (wifes) all fake it a little for them right. LOLthe devil in me made me say that.

Anyway I put my DH on notice before any vacation, my happiness is of the most importance.

 

[tinkerfan1]

First off, I'm sorry about your families' miscarriage. That must have been devastating.

secondly, I do not think you are being crazy at all. I would be feeling depressed had I been through a Disney trip with a less-than-enthusiastic spouse. I am fortunate that my DH was bitten by the Disney bug on our first family trip several years back. I can really understand how upset you must be as a Disney fan to think that your hubby may never see the light.

I think it's great that you can see past the "family vacation" concept and embrace the alternatives....i.e.- girls only trips and Mommy-son trips. I think that sure beats having a skeptic along for the ride. So kudos to you for knowing you can do it without him.

I don't have much else to add - but keep your chin up....and remember "There's a great big beautiful tomorrow!"

I second this DISer. And the DISer after in giving you a great big DIS board family hug.

 

[JUJU814]

He should care about your feelings and maybe fake it a little to keep Mama happy. We (wifes) all fake it a little for them right. LOLthe devil in me made me say that.

Anyway I put my DH on notice before any vacation, my happiness is of the most importance.

No kiddin' guys! Suck it up and deal with it! We have to!

 

[peemagg]

I bet that if you were to act like that on a vacation (or anything else that he is excited about) he would be all over you.

Sometimes I think that people need to see how they are acting in order to change their attitude. For example the next time he is excited about something, if you acted like he did on this vacation and ruined it for him, then told him "how's it feel?", and that this is how I felt about our WDW trip that it may change his attitude from now on. Not saying though that you might have to remind him from time to time to not go down that road again, but we may change them one by one this way. LOL

 

[wickywinn]

You know, I think alot of times people, especially spouses - if they're determined they're not going to like something, nothing will make them happy. My sister has this problem. She is as obsessed with Disney as I am and it's like her dh is trying to break her of it so dismisses the topic whenever it comes up and, when they've gone, refuses to be pulled in or admit defeat. My dh is really guilty of this, although, even he couldn't resist our 1st trip together last year, after seeing how happy our kids were. If he's determined he's not going to let you pull him into your love of Disney, nothing's going to change his mind. When my dh gets like that I pointblank tell him he's doing so intentionally. He always denies it, of course, but it stops the constant complaining when I call him out on it.

 

[Sam's_Mom]

My husband and older teen boy is the same way. They hate to go but hate for me to go without them. This summer, the younger children and I went at rope drop while they slept and met us for lunch, then went back to the hotel and then we met for dinner.

This kept everyone happier---but the baby (he's 6) and I are going for a quick trip by ourselves in November. The others will do NASA and the beach and we will meet them there.

 

[kim929]

My ex husband was the same exact way..... That man could ruin anything. He was such a downer

 

[tricia]

Aw man, that is no fun. I am lucky, my DH has loved WDW since I first brought him there for our honeymoon. But even if he didn't I don't think he would act like that for a whole trip. (1/2 a day, or a couple of hours max. before I would straighten him out)

Also, he has this motto that I really like "HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE". His single friends laugh at him and say he is whipped when he says that, but he affirms that it is true.

 

[Colleen27]

I'm lucky; my DH is so completely wrapped around our kids' little fingers that he'd just go with the flow of anything because he knows how much they love Disney. That said, heat and illness are a combination that will make anyone cranky!

Our first trip, in a late Sept week with unseasonable heat & humidity, had the most "meltdown" moments of any trip we've ever taken, just because of all the walking and waiting in insanely hot weather when truth be told we all just wanted to hide out somewhere air conditioned. Add in the fact that your DH & son were sick right before the trip, and it is no wonder he didn't have a good time. I know the last place I'd want to be a day or two after being sick enough to go to after-hours clinic is in line for a ride or eating at a noisy character buffet!

His behaviour was inexcusible because from the sounds of it, he did insist he was well enough to go, but I wouldn't assume that he'll never enjoy Disney... I think the circumstances make it worth another try somewhere down the line, but only AFTER a talk about how adults express displeasure with a situation.

 

[tam626]

My ex husband was the same exact way..... That man could ruin anything. He was such a downer

You took the words right outta my mouth. He made the one & only trip I took my older kids on pretty miserable. They are 23 & 18 now & don't get excited when I tell them about the past two trips my dh & I took our ds on. It's sad.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

He was inappropriate. But if this behavior was not his normal behavior, I would guess that it might have been affected by his illness. Now, if he is always like that it is a whole different story. Just because he thought he was well enough doesn't mean he was. I've had colds, flus etc., and gone into work when I thought I was on the mend, only to be dealing with exhaustion by 11:00.

Hope you all can figure it out.

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

I am so sorry he did that to you and I am sorry for your loss. My DH and I know all to well how that feels. We suffered three before we had our DD and it was devesatating. We did several Disney trips to help get through it. I honestly would sit him down and talk to him and tell him how you feel. Maybe he was still mourning the loss of the baby and it upset him you were there as a family of 3 instead of 4? I know that miscarriages affect men differently then women. I hope your next trip is amazing! (((((HUGS)))))

 

[PixieDustPrincess05]

Awe I am really sorry for your loss.

Ok, now I am convinced we all married the same husband ladies!!!!! I had been to WDW several times before Dh and I took DS last year in August. DH was all gung-ho about going and excited, but boy was I wrong!!!!! DS was 2 1/2 at the time, and DH's crap started right from the airport. First he complained about DS being wound up at 5 am in the morning running around the airport- so, determined not to let him ruin the day, I took DS for a walk till it was time to board the plane. On the way down, he complained that the seating was too cramped. DS spilled a whole bag of swedish fish, which I had to clean up- so I don't know why he was complaining. I lost him for 5 minutes on our way to the ME station at the airport- and he complained about that. Then, the real complaining began..... we were about to experience 4 days, 3 nights during Tropical Storm Fay. All I heard the whole time was, "I will never go back" "I can't believe we wasted all this money just to get rained on" , and one time, on one of the Disney Trans. buses he even muttered "Disneyworld: Where Misery is Made". How embarrassing huh? He can be a great husband, but sometimes thinks nothing of whining just to piss me off. Needless to say, we are going back next year whether he likes it or not, or I will leave his butt home!