Ungrateful family?

[CandyMandy]

If there is one thing I have generally learned from the DIS, it's that best of intentions on the "Magical Gatherings" level almost never turn out as hoped for.

Either the family issues like the one the OP raised rear their heads at the worst possible time, and/or the reality of the numbing logistics of managing a group trip at a detail-intensive place like WDW stress out the host.

Whatever, I rarely, rarely see these things turning out well.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I am someone who is concerned about sleeping arrangements. We get a Beach Cottage for 7 people, and I have never asked adults who aren't married to sleep together. My DSis and I have had the master at times, and that "works." We do put 2 kids in a queen. I would rather have a 2 bedroom and studios so there is space for people to sleep and places to go for privacy. The most crowded we've ever been was a dedicated 2 bedroom at BLT with 8 people.Thanks to the sleeper chair, everyone was fine.

I posted here because in February, I was invited as a guest to share a 2 bedroom with DCuzs. I hemmed and hawed and did say yes, but I was dreading sharing the pull out queen with a DCuz. I asked for opinions here and for the last day, I did book a studio for myself, so for that 1 night at least, she and I would have more room. As it turned out I had the sleeper sofa to myself (sometimes the things you most worry about do not happen), but I do understand people's reluctance to share a bed and don't consider it being ungrateful. I was so glad I went, and even if the sleeping arragements were as originally planned, I would have made the best of it...just being with them was totally worth it.

Here's hoping your trip with family turns out as you wish it could be!!!

Bobbi

 

[es45]

have you consider 4 studios....

or maybe a 1 bedroom for you and 3 studios for them.

Great idea. Otherwise, I don't see how this can turn out well.

 

[Snurk71]

We're looking at a family trip together (DW's parents' 50th anniversary), and so far it looks like we'll have much better luck than OP. Our family (3), DW's sister's family (4), and DW's parents all went to WDW a couple years ago - but we all stayed at different resorts. Now we're discussing going out to DL next spring break and all 9 of us stay in a 2BR. We do all stay overnight in the same house in less than ideal quarters a couple times a year. So we think the cramped space won't be too much of a problem - I guess we'll find out though.

We're the owners putting up the points (a lot of banking and borrowing) and maintenance fees, we're giving up the main bedroom for DW's parents (since it's their anniversary gift trip) and sleeping in the 2nd bedroom with DW's sister and husband - the 3 kids are on pullouts in the living room. DW's sister even agreed to pay us $300/night for the trip - and asked if we thought that was enough to cover their share of the "gift". It might not have hurt that I mentioned that rack rate for a 2BR during spring break was like $1,400/night or something like that.

Of course when DW's other sister was asked about doing a trip like this for an anniversary gift she said no way was she going to be part of something extravagant like that. So we're just leaving her out of the party.

 

[Ln42]

"I deserve it.".....my response would be, "Honey you are so right, why not stay in that warm, comfortable bed of yours at home and when you "earn" it, you can pay for your own Grand Villa and pick whatever bed you like!"



To OP, just know that you are being beyond generous and that trying to include everyone is just so special. I imagine it will mean a lot to your parents to have you all together and that is a gift that will be appreciated and remembered forever. Have a great time, regardless of what they do!

 

[Donna M]

I've hosted family gatherings of 11. We are lucky that we own 500 points because I know that I wouldn't want to share a bedroom with anyone other than my DH and kids, so, we don't plan on extended family having to share a room or bed with someone other than spouse or young children.

But if you're inviting a large group and they are made aware that they will have to share beds/rooms then they should have thought about that before they agreed to go.

I think it's great that they have the sleeper chair and extra sleeping because just because it says the place sleeps 12, that doesn't mean that 12 people will be happy with the arrangements.

A living room at SSR, BCV, VWL doesn't have good sitting space for 8 people. Only 4 people can sit on comfy furniture.

 

[Chelley00]

I hate hearing about people who are ungrateful for trips to Disney! If someone offered to take me to Disney and give me a free room, I'd offer to clean their house for a year or something and wash their car.

 

[mrsksomeday]

I am so sorry for your ungrateful relatives. The best advice I can give you is to schedule a bunch of time away from them and with just your immediate family. Do NOT do what I did and think you can schedule all this fun time together because you will just get all sorts of complaining. My next family trip will have them going where ever they want and us going where we want and probably just meeting for specific rides and a couple of meals together.

You will never make every one happy, just try to make your immediate family and yourself happy.

 

[crisi]

My response would be: No problem. Just go to www.disneyworld.com, and book yourself a room. Have your credit card ready.

It takes a few years and a few stories like this for most of us to learn, but that would be my response as well.

My family was very grateful for their trip, with the exception of my brother in law - who we knew would be a problem and whose thanks was grudging. And when we took my husband's mother and his aunt not only were they very gracious for the entire trip - I got the best thank you note of my life from his aunt.

 

[connorlevismom]

Oh I am so sorry your dealing with this. I don't think people have any clue how much it costs us to offer something like this to our family. I don't think they have a clue what it would cost them in cash to stay at a DVC resort.

Some people will always complain not matter what you do. I too, would have given your brother the number to book his own room, with his own bed and paid for by his own money.

We are taking DH's two brothers and their families in December and staying in a Jambo GV. I am SO nervous because they have never been there and one brother complains about everything. I am going to try like heck to not let it ruin my vacation. If anything, they can sit in the room for all I care. I am going to the parks and am going to have a great time.

Kristine

 

[capecoddisneyfamily]

OK not to sound rude but I would be grateful to sleep on a pull out sofa, over sharing a bed with my adult brother.

 

[Harlemgirl720]

My response would be: No problem. Just go to www.disneyworld.com, and book yourself a room. Have your credit card ready.

You got that right!

 

[Sammie]

I leave everyone at home except immediate family, unless they pay their own way. We tried it, it did not work, lesson learned.

 

[shortypots]

OK not to sound rude but I would be grateful to sleep on a pull out sofa, over sharing a bed with my adult brother.

Our family grew up sharing beds/rooms on vacation sometimes 3 in a bed, but it was their choice to sleep together over sleeping on the sofa bed/chair.

Also for other folks that have mentioned knowing before hand- I let everyone know right from the beginning how the sleeping arrangements were going to work. I heard, "no problem" from everyone up until this past Sunday.

We had considered 2 -2bd instead of the Grand Villa but thought how nice it would be to experience the Grand Villa for the first time. Now, it is really starting to look like the last trip.

 

[dmoore22]

My response would be: No problem. Just go to www.disneyworld.com, and book yourself a room. Have your credit card ready.

or mousesavers.com to find a deal, or wdw info.com, or ...............!!!!!!

I can Soooo relate to your situation!!!!!

 

[Inkmahm]

I'm lucky, I guess. We just took my mom, sister and her daughter, and my oldest niece to stay in a 2 bedroom at AKV and then BCV. DH and I took the master and my sister and her daughter had one bed with my mom and oldest niece sharing the second bed at AKV and the sleeper sofa at BCV.

I asked which location they liked better and it was unanimous- AKV. I was surprised but Kidani has 3 bathrooms in the 2 bedroom so my mom enjoyed having her own bathroom there. Also, we had a dedicated 2 bedroom so there were 2 real beds at Kidani. None of them complained about BCV though.

The only real complaint I got was that everyone was tired from the schedule I had us on and they were eating at too many "fancy 5 star restaurants." My sister and oldest niece aren't used to eating big meals every night. Of course, we took them to Signature restaurants (our favorites)- Jiko, Artist Point, Cali Grill, Yachtsmen Steakhouse, Cape May, the Japanese one in Epcot, etc. My sister had a craving for Taco Bell and my niece wanted just mac and cheese for dinner one night! I said as long as I was paying for all the food, they were all going to eat well.

 

[Figment2]

If they are complaining now I can just imagine what they will say once they see the master bedroom!

Cyn

 

[heathpack]

I have a similar ungrateful story. I bought into DVC in 2008 and immediately started thinking of trips I could take my family along on. Being 30 at the time I was happy that I was able to do this so went right to my family with possibilities of family trips. So I mentioned to my mother that maybe sometime we could all go to Hawaii. Her immediate response was “that’s a long flight.” So I offered that we could just go to Disney where she responded “that’s so much walking to do.” I feel like there was another offer right away that was quickly brushed aside as well but I forget (probably the reason I still am on good terms with her.) So this past May I decided to go to Vero Beach. I mention this to my mom and point out that there won’t be much walking and she’ll mostly be relaxing in the sun. She responds with “but it’s already getting warm in Long Island by May, we’d rather go away when it’s colder here.” So I quickly respond with “but there’s a chance we could possibly see sea turtles coming up onto the beach to lay there eggs, that would pretty cool huh?” And without missing a beat, she says “won’t they close the beach for that.” So, sometimes no matter how hard you try, you just can’t win with your relatives. On a side note, I currently have a Tree House Villa reserved for the week after Thanksgiving for my parents and brothers so we’ll see what happens.

This must be a Long Island thing. EXACTLY how my mother would respond. In fact, I read my husband your post and the first thing he said is, "that sounds like your mother."

H

 

[Inkmahm]

Sadly, my 11 year old niece thinks Walt Disney World is a boring money trap. I recently asked if she (the 11 year old) wanted to join me and DH on our next trip and she said NO!

I've learned not to be upset when family doesn't want to go with us to WDW for a free trip. I try to be fair and offer the same trips to my side of the family and my husband's side of the family. Nieces and nephews get invited equally so we don't play favorites among the different families. It was his family's turn so we invited my inlaws and our niece and nephew for December. My SIL and BIL are definitely not Disney people but we wanted the kids (niece 14 and nephew 12) to be able to go again to see all of the things that they missed when they were there on our last family trip with their parents.

The kids decided they didn't want to miss school in December so they passed on the trip. I didn't argue with them. If they want to go to school and not Disney, that's okay with me. I offered the trip so they can't say they've been cheated.

Instead of just one week with my inlaws, now they are going to come for the week at the parks and then join us for a second week on a Disney cruise! I know I travel well with them as we have done a previous 2 week trip to Alaska with them. They are so happy that I do all the planning, they trust me to pick things to do that they will like. They never complain about the restaurants we take them to, either. Truthfully, I think I'll have a much better time with just my in-laws meeting us at WDW.

 

[Pakey]

Our children are grown and married and we have learned that the GV experience is not for us. Nobody wants a sofa bed, nobody wants shared sleeping spaces. I don't really blame them (I would not do it even if it were free) so after 2 less than perfect family WDW vacations in the big villas, we now do 5 studios. It works so much better. We have found we actually enjoy vacationing together if we can all go back to our own private sanctuaries whenever we want to.