Unforgiveable???

[MightyMom]

I did something really really terrible today. Completely unintentional.... but horrible nonetheless.

My best friends father had a major stroke 4 days ago and has been in the hospital. There is no hope and they are waiting for him to die.

At 7:30am my BF calls crying. She said she was on the way to the hospital because her sister had just called her. Today was her father's 80th birthday. I told her, "This is the way he would have wanted it, to pass on his birthday. " I even said something like, "At least he is at peace now."

My BF never actually said the words, "My father passed away." But everything in our conversation.... including her crying.... led me to believe he passed.

Earlier in the week we had discussed who I would call when he did pass.

Needless to say.... I made the phone calls and told everyone he had passed away.

3 hours later... yes... 3 hours later I spoke to my BF and yup... you guessed it.... he HADN'T passed away.

It was just miscommunication.

But you know how quickly bad news spreads.

The Knights of Columbus already showed up at their door. Family and friends have already sent condolences.

I am so sick over this.

I know there is nothing I can do to "fix" it.....

I've spoken to my BF a few times since... and as more time goes by she sounds more upset at me. I guess as more time goes by more people are coming by.

I'm off to go cry some more over what an idiot I am........

 

[LadyShea]

Oh, of course it's forgivable. An understandable mistake under the circumstances. The consequences are quite unfortunate, but you certainly didn't intend this to happen.

 

[Stephres]

Oh I am sorry. Try to forgive yourself first. It wasn't intentional.

 

[mom2munchkins]

Don't be so hard on yourself you were just trying to be a good friend.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Oh, my. I too feel that it's a forgivable 'offense' - you certainly didn't intentionally misinform friends and loved ones of his passing. Try not to beat yourself up. Your friend is under a lot of stress, and she probably is angry at the situation more than she's truly angry at you - I mean, she IS going to lose her father and probably isn't thinking clearly.

I'm sure your relationship will not suffer. I wish her dad a peaceful passing.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Unforgivable? You were being a good friend. A really good friend. Things happen, mistakes are made. I would bet she isn't upset with you, just upset in general and it is coming across as upset with you. Youget angry with friends over intentional stuff, I can't imagine for a minute that she thinks this was intentional. I don't see a reason for "forgiveness", it was a mistake, that's all. Sure you feel bad that it happened, you are obviously a good person, but don't beat yourself up over a simple mistake!

 

[Judy WI]

Happen to us. My husband was at work on the phone with his brother and something happened to their mom, she was in hospic so we knew the end was close and the brother was there with her. Well my husband thought she had passed and called me so I called all the people I was suppose to and guess what she was still alive. She did pass later that night but what a mental mess.

Now we all can laugh about it. Times of stress can do funny things with our minds.

 

[Belle & Ariel]

I am so sorry for you and her. Don't be too hard on yourself. It is obvious you are a good friend and that is what she needs right now.

 

[Chrisinroch]

Jeez that really sucks. It was a mistake, plain and simple and it shouldnt change things between your friend and you.

Just remember, your friend is grieving and her emotions are pretty near the surface. Also, folks in you friends position may misdirect anger. Its hard to be angry at a "stroke" but its easy to be angry at a friend's honest mistake.

So, dont beat yourself up over an honest mistake. Be patient with your friend's anger toward you (it will blow over).

Sending you an e-hug

 

[tinker&belle]

When someone loses someone they are close to, they are angry. When my brother died I was angry over all sorts of random things people did, many of which were kind gestures. I think when you are in that much shock, you start to feel angry and you don't know how to direct it.

If she stays angry for a period, this will probably pass as the shock wears away.

Sorry for going through such a hard situation.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I agree with everyone else, totally forgivable. Try not to beat yourself up too much over it. Give your friend some time and space if it seems she's very upset with you, this too shall pass.

 

[Camno's Mama]

Forgive yourself. You didn't do anything terrible...miscommunications happen all the time. I'm sure that she will understand once the air clears for her. There will probably be a day where you will both look back on this day and laugh...sometimes the things that are so serious in the moment are the things that lighten the mood when the story is retold.

I'm sorry that this has been so hard for you. Best wishes for your friend and her family.

 

[Cindi0511]

We're all giving you a big hug. I doubt there's anything we can say to make you feel any better, but we're hanging in there with you. I agree that your friend is probably just freaked out with everything going on, and you may happen to be the vent of opportunity, not necessarily choice. I'm sure you have already apologized multiple times. My recommendation is to let it go now. Don't keep bringing it up. If she brings it up, go ahead and apologize again -- you ARE sorry! You DIDN'T realize you were making a mistake. I'm willing to bet your friend will understand that in time when she's had time for her heart and emotions to settle down. She can't make rational choices right now, and she's not bad because of it. That's what stress and pain do.

You're not a bad friend, girl! I would love to have you for a friend. Hang in there!

 

[PiratesRock]

I hope your friend's Dad does well. We'll keep you and their family in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[dreamin_disney]

Sending you (((BIG HUGS)))

 

[MightyMom]

Yesterday was a really low day for me, but in reality it was much worse for my best friend. She's losing her father and she had to deal with the fallout from my mistake.

We've been through so much over the years.... and I know this will eventually resolve. It's just so difficult knowing you hurt someone you love.

I found such comfort and reassurance in all of your messages. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Thank you.

Trisha

 

[nessz79]

Aw

So sorry this happened. As you know, it will get better with time, but it sure doesn't help you right now. Hugs to you.

 

[dislal]

 

[Jenvenza]

It really was just a mistake. You need to forgive yourself and I am sure your friend will, too. Dont beat yourself up too much.

 

[Tinkerbell63]

Your friend will surely forgive you. She just has too much to think about right now. I remember when my mother had a stroke, this was one of the most difficult times of my life. My life changed completely from one second to the next. Your friend still needs your so just let her know that you're there for her whenever she's ready to talk.