ummm...Okay..!!

[kellyg403]

My sdd works at a grocery store 4 nights a week. She takes her lunch to school everyday. Today I received a text...'we have been out of ziplock bags for two days' I text back, 'you work at a grocery store, you were there last night, why did you not pick up ziplock bags since you are the only one who uses them and knew they were out". Her reply (She is 17 not 2) "I didn't know I was responsible for purchasing my own lunches"...

UMMMMMM hello, two days ago you spent 50 bucks at the Festival. Get off the 99 cents and buy the ziplocks for God's sake.

Geez, sometimes I just don't get it. She has no issue whatsoever with using every penny on what she wants...but if its a need I text back later and told her anytime she buys something for the house I am quite certain she just needs to hand me the receipt and ask for her money back. I figure her mom will be calling me at some point to discuss my total lack of caring.

Kelly

 

[jen0610]

My sdd works at a grocery store 4 nights a week. She takes her lunch to school everyday. Today I received a text...'we have been out of ziplock bags for two days' I text back, 'you work at a grocery store, you were there last night, why did you not pick up ziplock bags since you are the only one who uses them and knew they were out". Her reply (She is 17 not 2) "I didn't know I was responsible for purchasing my own lunches"...

UMMMMMM hello, two days ago you spent 50 bucks at the Festival. Get off the 99 cents and buy the ziplocks for God's sake.

Geez, sometimes I just don't get it. She has no issue whatsoever with using every penny on what she wants...but if its a need I text back later and told her anytime she buys something for the house I am quite certain she just needs to hand me the receipt and ask for her money back. I figure her mom will be calling me at some point to discuss my total lack of caring.

Kelly

And I would have the same stance with mom, too. Your stepDD is the only one in the house that uses them. If she knew that she was running low and did not tell anyone and did not restock them herself while she was at work, it will get done when the regular household grocery shopping is done. That is not an item that would entail me making a special trip to the store to pick up.

 

[kellyg403]

In the grand scheme of things, not a big issue. But geez, for some reason it just rubbed me the wrong way today! Maybe it was because LAST week, she informed me she was out of her personal items in her bathroom, she knows I go to the store on Sunday mornings. So, I pick her up FROM the groc store where she works..ON PAYDAY..and she informs me of her needs. I told her then, if there is something you need, buy and let me know or let me know before the grocery trip. Her response then was it was my job. I asked if she thought when she grew up and moved out if I would be calling for her list on my way to the grocery store? At some point, we have to understand the difference between a need and a want.

Kelly

 

[HM]

I wish ziplocs (even the generic brand) were .99 cents..... Try closer to $3.00.

You handled it well.

 

[marlynnp]

In the grand scheme of things, not a big issue. But geez, for some reason it just rubbed me the wrong way today! Maybe it was because LAST week, she informed me she was out of her personal items in her bathroom, she knows I go to the store on Sunday mornings. So, I pick her up FROM the groc store where she works..ON PAYDAY..and she informs me of her needs. I told her then, if there is something you need, buy and let me know or let me know before the grocery trip. Her response then was it was my job. I asked if she thought when she grew up and moved out if I would be calling for her list on my way to the grocery store? At some point, we have to understand the difference between a need and a want.

Kelly

I think you need to put the 'job' officially back in her court. Set up a place where you will have a list that anyone in the household can add their 'needs'. If the item is written on the list you'll get it at the grocery store during your weekly run.

If she forgets to put something on the list then it is her problem.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

I hear ya! My brother is 20 and pulls this kind of crap with my mom (yes, he still lives at home). $60 jeans purchased for himself? no problem. $200 electronic gadget purchased on a whim? no problem. $3 item for home use? Are you kidding me!?

 

[Mommee]

I think you need to put the 'job' officially back in her court. Set up a place where you will have a list that anyone in the household can add their 'needs'. If the item is written on the list you'll get it at the grocery store during your weekly run.

If she forgets to put something on the list then it is her problem.

That's a good idea. Part of her problem may simply being not knowing that she should be doing this. I remember hearing a story about a father that was taking a walk with his little girl in the woods. He told her to stay on the path. She kept wandering off the path, and he would pull her back on and repeat that she needed to stay on the path. The father got frustrated with her, and started yelling at her to stay on the path, but the little girl kept wandering off. The father yanked her arm over to him and asked why the he!! didn't she stay on the path like he asked? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "daddy, what's a path?".

Sometimes we forget that even "simple" things are new to children, even buying ziplocs

 

[jen0610]

In the grand scheme of things, not a big issue. But geez, for some reason it just rubbed me the wrong way today! Maybe it was because LAST week, she informed me she was out of her personal items in her bathroom, she knows I go to the store on Sunday mornings. So, I pick her up FROM the groc store where she works..ON PAYDAY..and she informs me of her needs. I told her then, if there is something you need, buy and let me know or let me know before the grocery trip. Her response then was it was my job. I asked if she thought when she grew up and moved out if I would be calling for her list on my way to the grocery store? At some point, we have to understand the difference between a need and a want.

Kelly

That's a good idea. Part of her problem may simply being not knowing that she should be doing this. I remember hearing a story about a father that was taking a walk with his little girl in the woods. He told her to stay on the path. She kept wandering off the path, and he would pull her back on and repeat that she needed to stay on the path. The father got frustrated with her, and started yelling at her to stay on the path, but the little girl kept wandering off. The father yanked her arm over to him and asked why the he!! didn't she stay on the path like he asked? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said "daddy, what's a path?".

Sometimes we forget that even "simple" things are new to children, even buying ziplocs

I have a DD13 that just started back in March. She was told then, here is your stuff. It's kept in her bathroom. I don't go into that bathroom - she and her brother are responsible for it's up keep. She was told then, when you get low on supplies, it is up to YOU to let me know. Otherwise, you'll be using my stuff and neither of us will be happy.

There are certain items that only my kids eat or use - yougert, pop tarts, breakfast bars, axe spray, body wash and shampoo. Since DS turned 13, it has been his responsibility to tell me when these items are low. Now that DD is 13, it's up to her as well. Teaches them to be proactive on passing along information.

 

[onelilspark]

I live with my fiancé. We have a list on the refrigerator so I know what we need when I go shopping. It never fails that I come home and he says "oh did you pick up ____ " Ummm...no. It wasn't on the list. So he either goes without it for a week and it goes on the list or he picks it up.

...he's getting a little better. It probably also helps that I ask him before leaving now if there's anything else he needs

If you don't have it already, put up a pad of paper where everyone can add things that are needed. Then if she doesn't add it, it's her problem.

 

[2binak]

We keep a dry erase board on the refrigerator for the sole purpose of creating our the grocery list for the week. Anytime we are running low or are out of something, we write it on the board. As I go through the sale flyers, I add sale items that we are in need of on the list too. DH and I have done this for years and it works really well. We plan to teach DD to use it when she's old enough to write.

OP - I'm glad you stood your ground. At 17, she's old enough to take responsibility for such things.