Ummm DH is worried about what.....?

[lillygator]

I was mentioning to Dh tonight about trying Palo one night and the Surial experience and that we would need to put DD (18 months) into the nursery.....



........he said NO flat out. I told him I think we are pretty safe, seeing that we are on a ship and everything. He is adament that abductions happen anywhere, anytime....(mind you we live in Sarasota where Carlie Brucia was just abducted) and WILL NOT consider leaving DD for a few hours.


Any thoughts?

 

[mmouse37]

Many people use Flounders with favaorable reports....but if he is that adamant about it...I would not push it. You can do Palo on another cruise in the future. There are plenty of things for families to do!!!

MJ

 

[rsjj]

It is every parents' nightmare & worries about your child being abducted. True, it could happen anywhere, you never know.

If your DH is so adament about the issue...remember you want to enjoy yourselves! Not have your dinner at Palo & be "worried". And you can just tell your DH that you'd have to rebook on board, so you can go back & do it again, what you've missed this time around. A reason to go back! Hopefully, by then, your DD would be old enough & your DH would not feel as strongly as he does now?

Good luck...

 

[CamColt]

On our first cruise DS, 3 1/2 refused to go to the clubs, and I wouldnt put our youngest DS, 8 months, in Flounders. We did have my parents along and they took the kids when we did the surial bath, but other than that, they were attached to us. We didnt do Palo or any of the adult nightlife.
Our solution....We went back alone 2 years later! This was a totally different trip for us and it was wonderful. With that said, we are going back again when the kids will be 5 & 8, and this time I am really looking forward to the experience we will all have together.

 

[RellingTwin]

The Disney "system" for protecting children is very good. Maybe your husband should visit the child care area once on board.He STILL might not want to leave your child, but he may change his mind on future cruises.

 

[rae519]

It is my understanding that there are security cameras and undercover security EVERYWHERE on the DCL - especially in the child care areas.
I feel very safe with their system of wristbands, secret password and entire registration process. If that is his concern, then at least offer him the opportunity to see the system.

If you really want to go to Palo, maybe you should consider going without your husband or visa versa. Make two reservations and explain it to them when you do.

No, it wouldn't be as nice, fun or romantic, but if you really wanted to try the food then go for it.

Rae

 

[gassmandy]

Believe me--I hear him loud and clear. DH and I always had so much fun together so when we had a cruise scheduled for when our new baby would be almost 8 months (and my parents, 6 brothers and sisters and their sig. others were going too) we figured it'd be just as great.....................I decided against Flounders which meant I really didn't do very much besides nap-time, Mickeys ear, and pictures w/ the characters!!! My parents watched her so we could go to Palo brunch (did dinner on previous cruises). We still had fun since it was my whole family together again (7 kids ages 22 to 36--that can be hard to do!!). But when we go again--she will be at Flounders once or twice or the kids club if we wait till then!!
You need to do what will make you both feel at ease, though--that's why my daughter was w/ us the whole time!!! (or me I should say--DH got to lay out, go golfing, etc!)
And like Rae said--Disney doesn't go w/out security cameras.....they can keep them very well hid!! The footage comes in handy when someone tries to sue for something ridiculous!

 

[tkd lisa]

On the surface, it's easy to say that it's a little silly. After all, you're at sea. Where could they go? But I can still understand. Our first cruise, our daughter (9 at the time) got separated from us just before the life boat drill (we were still tied up to the dock, but the doors were officially closed). While the drill is going on, all services are closed. Basically, no one could help us at all. They just kept saying "Maam, there's no where she could be. As soon as the drill is over, we'll be able to locate her." I was still freaked out! Turned out she got our room number confused (7050 instead of 7005) and a steward let her into that room since she was pounding on the door. When it turned out to not be ours, they took her to the head kids program counselor, who took her to the drill (after giving her a t-shirt since she was in her swim suit), then looked up her name in the computer and brought her to our cabin. Probably the scariest 30 minutes of my life! There were some fellow DISers on that cruise who probably remember me as pretty darned hysterical.

Bottom line is that you have to be comfortable with the situation or you won't enjoy it. Play Palo's by ear, and once you're on board, if DH changes his mind, go and enjoy. If not, you'll still have fun!

 

[markmyboy]

I would agree with letting DH have this one! I get a little hysterical about what could happen to our kids at times. I would also bring him to Flounders & let him check the place out, see how they keep the area secure, it really is almost impossible for someone else to take your child from the nursery.

If he sees it & decides to give it a go, I would let the counselors know that he is a little nervous about leaving her there & they will be more than accomodating.

When we went on our 3 night cruise we only left our 20 month old daughter there on night for 2 hours. Other than that she was with us the whole time & we had a great time.

 

[JJsmama]

TKD Lisa,

I would have been hysterical too and so worried that my child, probably safe, was terrified. It is nice to know that while she was separated from you, Disney took good care of her.

 

[westjones]

I understand his feelings. I have twins who will be 11 years old and they want the freedom to sign themselves in and out of the Lab, but I am not comfortable with that idea yet. So many others say they do it with kids as young as 8, but if I am not comfortable I won't enjoy myself wondering if my kids are in the lab or at the cabin or who knows where!

Some of us worry more than others, and it is a vacation and we have to do what is best for our families. Perhaps once you are on board your DH will get more comfortable with the idea. I told my DDs that we will 'see' about how much freedom they will get once we are on the ship and I get a feel for what *I* am comfortable with in regards to them being able to come and go (I booked a room on deck 5 right around from the Lab, so they would only have a short walk back to the room---if I let them do this).

So find what works for you, don't worry about what others do, and enjoy your trip as a family.

I already know that I am not going to be comfortable once my DDs are 13 and want to go to the Teen program (my 13 year old daughters in with 16 & 17 year old boys! Oh No! ). We will have a LOT to talk about when we reach that stage in life.

But you take each stage at a time, and do what you are most comfortable with doing and enjoy your time together as a family (it goes by so fast before they grow up).

DJ

 

[CheapMom]

I am assuming you stay at home with the baby so it is probably YOU who is longing for adult time more than he. I think having him visit Flounders is a good idea. If he still objects -make a spa ressie for yourself and let him stay with baby for an hour. You need a break. I wouldn't push him though, because as another poster said, your alone time would not be enjoyable if it you or he were worried.

 

[rae519]

westjones - I echo that about not allowing them "sign in/sign out" privileges. After 7 cruises and seeing how some of the "most innocent, mature, well-behaved" children act when there is no supervision, I can only say that would not allow my son to have the privilege either!!

Too often the "good kids" are tempted to do things that we would definitely find unacceptable because an older child encourages them to do it - peer pressure weighs more than parental influence or conscience!!!

Rae

 

[CheapMom]

We will be cruising in December with our 2 year old (and 7&8YO)and DH and I have a plan that after dinner each night we will put the kids to sleep and have drinks on the verandah. It's not Palo but I think it could be pretty romantic looking out at the sea and cuddling while the little ones saw toothpicks in the next room.

 

[MarkRG]

I don't see very many guy responses in this thread, so I'll try to give you one. It might be a teeny bit hard as having no children of our own, but I still can help I think.

I would first off stress that first point you made in that you are on a ship out on the ocean, where could someone go? Nowhere is the exact right answer to that one. It's also a fact they have such a high level of security onboard that it'd be very hard for someone to do something like that to begin with. I won't go into detail about how they do things except to say that it would be impossible for a passenger on the ship to take your child anywhere, especially off the ship.

Second, is what Rae said, the level of security they have for keeping control of the children they check in the kids areas is VERY secure. If I had kids, I would not even have a second thought about checking them in there knowing that I would be the only one who could check them back out.

He's a guy, he probably thinks he needs to see these things for himself before he'll believe them, you can take him there when you board and show him, as others have said.

You can then point out the only problem with this is, you really need to make reservations for Palo's and the Surial when you board or you're going to have a very hard time getting into them, Palo much moreso.

And lastly, point out this IS Disney, children are the first priority with them.

 

[crisi]

You can get on the boat, make you Palo and Flounders reservations, make an extra Flounders reservation for a short time to get a comfort level - and then not use any of them if he doesn't like what he sees. Reservations are cancelable.

At some point, you are going to have to let someone else care for your DD - her kindergarten teacher, unless you plan on homeschooling for thirteen years and even then, eventually her husband will have to start looking after her. A short evening in a Disney nursery on a cruise is about as safe as it gets - several staff members at all times, Disney corporate paranoia on liability, cameras and parents coming and going make sure nothing inappropriate happens and Disney's sign in sign out process is darn good.

Easy for me to say, my kids are daycare kids. But they have gotten to the age of five with having no one care for them but me, their father, their grandmothers and aunts and the daycare staff and Sunday school teachers - until the cruise when we put them in the kids clubs (and they did fine) - so it isn't like I've been having the neighborhood twelve year old watch them. (oh, wait, my son did have a birthmother, hospital staff, a foster mother and an escort - all before he arrived home).

 

[rae519]

I have been justly accused of being too protective over Michael - after losing Kayla 10 years ago, when we adopted Michael I even slept on the floor in his room for three months just because I was so overwhelmed with worry about his safety! He goes NOWHERE alone and I have eye-to-eye contact with him in stores, when he plays outdoors, etc.....

now for someone like me to say Disney is safe - I think maybe you'd appreciate that it is!!!

Good luck!

Rae

 

[chrisn]

I have a 16 yr old DD (who just started driving her own car ) and a 6 yr old DS. We always take our kids on vacations. For me personally I would not be able to relax or enjoy myself with my babies being that far away from me. I wish I could though. I have always been an EXTREMELY over protective mom. My DS is the only one in our neighborhood not allowed to run the streets. We don't let him play outside by himself unless it's in our back yard and we like him to play with friends at our home instead of theirs. When out in public, one of us has one eyeball on him at all times. Because I am a working mom, he goes to the bustop with my neighbors 3 kids each morning. 5 months ago, he was chased out into the road by an 11 year old neighborhood bully and hit by a truck (he was not seriously injured, thank God) but it happened when I was not there. I know anything can happen with anyone at any time, but I felt so guilty and unfit because I am not a SAHM. He was 4 when we cruised with DCL and RCCL. I did leave him in the kids clubs and I felt completely comfortable with it. He did page me a few times and we of course picked him up immediately but they do have a strict security policy and we felt good about it. I would do what others have suggested. Have DH tour the facility and learn their procedures and then if he is still adamant then that's just an excuse to cruise again another day!

 

[flexsmom]

I'm afraid I'm going to say something very unpopular and be driven from the board forever! I remember a few years ago - after I had DD (now 5) - I was watching Dr. Phil on Oprah while on maternity leave. He was going over the Top 10 mistakes parents make raising children. Number One on the list was "not putting your marriage first".....the point being that yes, children are excruciatingly important, but the loving, adult, relationship between parents is critical to the child's well-being. I take that to heart. I'm obviously not going to put my children in danger in order to spend time with my husband, but I do make a point of ensuring my kids know that there are times when Mom and Dad are going to do Mom-and-Dad things - alone (like going out on occasion.) Is it hard when they're babies? Yes. Is it worth it in the long run and do I think my kids know they are extremely important to us, even though we need to spend "parent time" alone? Absolutely. When they are sick, do I forego everything else to tend to them and I am irrational about their safety at times? Of course. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if it is a safe environment, what better place for you to have a small amount of adult-time with quality care? I'd rather do Flounders than have a baby-sitter who's not family at my own home! I have to beat my DH over the head at times to get him to realize that even though I'm a working mom, too, I spend WAY more time with the kids than he does and I desperately need some grown-up time....once in a while. It pays off. Hope I don't sound preachy....it's not intended.

 

[rae519]

Guilty as charged!

We have both put our children first and have come to realize that it is NOT healthy for us to do so. Children are important but more important is for them to see parents that love each other, are concerned about and for each other and are the stable force in their lives.

Rae