Ugh! How do you make small talk?!

[Skywalker]

Oh man, I don't have much time to get advice since I have to leave in about 45 minutes, LOL.

Anyway, my husband got called in to work at the last minute and now I have to go to a little afternoon party all by myself. I don't know anyone except the hostess and I know she will be very busy. Now I am very introverted, and I usually just get through these things my standing beside my husband and smiling while he does the "social butterfly" thing. LOL. OMG I do not know what to say! How can I avoid just standing there looking like an idiot!

Help! Please! Anyone who is more socially adept than I am please give me a tip or two.

 

[Pam]

Can you comment on the decor of the party or house?

Ask the other people if they have pets or children - that's always an icebreaker.

If all fails, either find a corner to hide in (I've done this myself) or make yourself indispensable to the hostess and help in the kitchen.

 

[bumbershoot]

Even if you end up just standing there, be sure to keep a serene smile on your face (think Mona Lisa).

Other than that, if I knew how to make small talk, I might have made it through sorority rush oh those many years ago...

 

[Liberty Belle]

You could always comment on how pretty someone's blouse is (they may mention where they got it which could lead to more conversation), ask how long they've lived in the town, comment on the refreshments, the heat, etc. I love talking to people, unless they make silly comments and laugh at them (when they're not even funny) or say judgemental things. Hopefully you'll not run into any of those kind of people.

 

[Skywalker]

Thank you guys so much. Time to take a huge breath and go.

 

[trappednabox]

Complement someone on something. Everyone likes a complement! Weather it's on their hair, clothes, whatever. it's always an ice breaker. You can always help the hostess as much as possible. If all else fails, grab some food and sit in and smile at people

 

[AKL_Megs]

I am the exact same way. I depend on DF to start any conversation when we are with people I don't know. I have been getting better at "small talk" on my own. I usually start with something like, "So, where do you live?" or something equally ridiculous But you would be surprised where a simple question like that will take you.

Good luck and don't think about it too much!

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

if all else fails, do what I do: smile and nod, be interested and gracious...people love to talk about themselves - once in a while a moment will present itself where you can add to the conversation.

probably isn't the perfect solution, but usually how I get by!!!!

good luck!!!

let us know how it goes!!!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I know I'm too late for the OP, but I'm going to add one more:

I'll usually ask people how they know the host/hostess. That can start a conversation that heads in all kinds of directions.

To the OP -- I hope it went well, and that you enjoyed yourself.

 

[Daxx]

Ask people if they can recommend a good movie (either to rent or that's currently out). If you've seen it, comment on it and it'll lead to a nice discussion! If you haven't seen it, then you can get more info. on it.

Ask a person if they have summer vaca. plans or ask if they can suggest a good place for a vaca.

Topics to avoid: politics and religion!

 

[Micca]

Have something to eat, and say to a total stranger: "I'm trying to figure out what makes this _______so delicious." At least that way you get to hang by the food.

 

[stargrazer]

The best social advice I ever got was to keep the conversation focused on the other person.

Ask them about travel, schools, cars, food/recipies, tv shows/movies, gossip...anything. But just keep them talking about their experiences and you can be the best conversationalist they've ever met

Another favorite is to just fess up to people that I'm not the most socially agile and they'll usually admit their own discomfort at times.

Mostly just try to have fun!

 

[solferino]

To answer truthfully, I have no freaking idea because I'm so inept when it comes to making small talk. But I guess if I had to give an impulsive answer, I'd say pretend you're at the DIS and hope the whole party is your captive audience waiting to answer your question about ______________.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I'll usually ask people how they know the host/hostess. That can start a conversation that heads in all kinds of directions.

I've found this to be the most natural and conversation-encouraging question to ask at a party!

It's funny, I meet strangers all day long at work, chat with all of them, and have been thanked by numerous people for putting them at ease and helping them feel comfortable, but I still get very nervous at parties where I don't know anybody....DH also meets new people all day long as part of his profession and he has an even harder time at parties. Both of us will otherwise pretty much talk to anybody, anywhere.

Hope the OP will come back and let us know how her party experience went!

 

[Bbgrizzle]

OP, how did the party go? Be sure to let us know how it went!!

 

[manning]

Three shots of whiskey followed by beer chasers and everything will be fine.

 

[Skywalker]

Three shots of whiskey followed by beer chasers and everything will be fine.

I am home now but boy that still sounds good!

Thanks for the advice and comments. I survived. I kept up my best "Mona Lisa smile" (thanks bumbershoot) and I had a couple of nice conversations. I did not work up the nerve to actually speak first to anybody, but a couple of people did come up and talk and I think I did all right. Whenever there would be a lull in the conversation I would be thinking. "OMG! Say something! Make sure it is not stupid!" LOL. I hate being so shy. I don't even remember what I said because I was so self-conscious and nervous.

I think it went well, although, they are all probably saying to themselves, "Who was that dolt?" LOL.

 

[manning]

All's well that ends well.

Whenever I got into a mood like this my dad use to say

"Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does"

In short, don't worry about it.

You did better than you thought, next time you will do better.

The goal next time is to surprise your husband.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Pat yourself on the back that you were brave and bold enough to go to a party, without your husband, where you knew no one but the hostess! No need to second-guess whether your small talk was "good enough"--just congratualte yourself on going and talking!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Pat yourself on the back that you were brave and bold enough to go to a party, without your husband, where you knew no one but the hostess! No need to second-guess whether your small talk was "good enough"--just congratualte yourself on going and talking!