Two happy kids, one jealous child...

[disneyluvr913]

What do you do if two of your children will be celebrating their birthdays at Disney World (age 17, 9), but one will not (14)?
What do you suggest? Picking one day for each kid to celebrate, or one day for both to celebrate together, or skipping the celebrating because one of our kids might feel left out...
Oh, one more thing. If we celebrated both my daughters' birthdays on the same day, would they receive attention evenly? (Seeing as one child is more in the "magic" stage).

THanks!

 

[mickeymousemommy]

If the one child that isn't going to be celebrating their birthday is going to feel left out, I wouldn't do the big birthday thing. I might get the birthday buttons at guest relations and give them to them later. One for each, they shouldn't question you. I know that if I were still 14 and my siblings were getting their birthdays done specially there I'd be heartbroken. I'd expect the same for me. Aknowledge their birthdays, but in my opinion, don't do it big.

 

[Enchanted]

What I would do (and you can take this with as much salt as you like since I don't have kids, but I DO have siblings) is celebrate the two birthdays separately. It gives both girls their time in the spotlight, and I think they'll both be happier. If you combine them, and the younger one gets more attention, the older one might feel left out. Let them celebrate separately and get an even chance at attention.

For the child who is "left out" when is their birthday? Disney doesn't care when their birthday really is, so you could celebrate that child's birthday while you're there as well whether it is early or late. I'm turning 18 in a few days, but I plan on celebrating in Disney in May. So you could do that, or you could find something else for them to celebrate. Are they entering high school? Did they get great grades on their last report card? Find something excellent that they accomplished for you to celebrate and pick a day to let that child celebrate this and treat them just as you treated the birthday girls. I think all of the children would be happy with the arrangement as long as you treat them all equally. Hope that helped, and I hope you have a great trip!

 

[goodeats]

How do you know they'll be jealous? Has he said anything about it?

I would think he'd just be happy to be there enjoying his sibling's b-days. I mean it's not like you're forcing him to stay at the hotel while everybody else has fun.

 

[andromedaslove]

Well, let me ask you a question. The other two are having their birthdays while you are at WDW, right? What about the middle child, have you ever done anything as special as WDW for their birthday? Is there a way for you to plan a trip for your middle child to WDW or someplace similar for their birthday? If not, could you just celebrate all 3 of their birthdays there at the same time? Tell them that since it is a special trip they can celebrate all of their birthdays while you are there? I don't really have an answer, just a couple of things to think about.

Dana

 

[Hannathy]

Is it a birthday trip or they just happen to be having birthdays while you are there ? If it is a birthday I trip I (the 14yr) would want one to! If they just happen to be having their birthdays I would do a cake or special desert on each of their birthdays and leave it at that. Maybe buttons to be worn just on the exact day but not a big deal every day unless you plan to have aweek long celebration for the other one.

 

[BYC]

Life isn't fair, and this could be a good lesson for the 14 year old. I don't think the other two should have a toned down celebration of their birtday, so as not to offend the other sibling. Snap out of it! That being said....our family tradition (I also have 3 kids) is that each kid gets a gift on the siblings birthady. Nothing big, just a nice token gift. Of course, the birthday girl or boy gets much more! Not sure exactly what kind of celebration you have in mind, but it seems that whatever you decide to do, the entire family would be involved, so there are no losers. Remind the 14 year old that they will have a birthday, too. Maybe not at Disney, but you can still make it special.

 

[Enchanted]

I agree with the PP. If we went to DW on my birthday, and my parents toned it down just so my brothers would be happy, I would be majorly angry.

We're planning on celebrating my 18th birthday, my high school graduation, my brother's 16th birthday, and my other brother's 13th birthday while we're down there. That way, none of us get left out, and we get to celebrate very significant landmarks in our lives.

Like I said before, I would throw a celebration for each child on separate days. Disney World is a place to celebrate! Enjoy!

 

[goofy4tink]

Maybe a little clarification would help. What are the actual birthdates, and are the birthday celebrants girls or boys, and is the poor, left out middle child (isn't this always the case) a boy or a girl (and what is this poor childs birthdate). I know, maybe too much info, but...
If we're talking about 2 girls, 17 and 9, and a 14 y/o boy, then answers might be a bit different. Also, if the 17 y/o birthday is actually during the visit, the 9 y/o's a week after you get home, and the 14 y/o's is 4 months before or after...all that would make a difference too.


So...if the middle child is a boy, then there isn't going to be too much he is going to want to do to celebrate his birthday in WDW. Birthdays seem to be much more 'girl' based...all those princesses. I have to agree that if it were my actual birthday and I had to tone it down because my sibling might be upset....well, too bad is what I would feel. My birthday is in the summer and I never had those terrific kid parties because everyone was always away on vacation!!! How close are the two actual birthdays? I would say to pick two different days to celebrate them. Then, maybe do something that the 14 y/o really wants to do at some point...nothing as major as a birthday but something cool.

 

[daisax]

What kind of celebrating do you people do for birthdays, anyway? If birthdays in your home consist of the birthday kid's choice of dinner, birthday cake and presents, let the birthday kid pick the restaurant, have cake or a dessert with a candle, hand over a present -- doesn't have to be more elaborate than that.

It should already be a fun trip for the 14 year old -- if you're not making a bigger deal out of the birthdays than you would at home, I don't see the problem. On the other hand, if you're using the opportunity to give the 2 havign their birthdays that week to do special tours and dolphin swims, while the 14 year old is going to be stuck with the movies or the bowling alley at home, then I'd say there's a problem!

 

[LoveWDW]

I like the idea of celebrating separately and having a comparable celebration on the other child's birthday, something the child can look forward to when the others are celebrating theirs.

 

[disneyluvr913]

Thanks for all the responses! Okay, here's the background info...

My oldest daughter's 17th birthday is in September, about two weeks after our tentative trip. My youngest daughter's birthday will be during the trip. She'll be nine. They both love Disney.

My 14-year-old son (who doesn't turn 15 until the end of November) is usually very mellow and easy-going. He is not the type to blurt out if he feels left out. But I've had experiences before when he was pushed back out of the spotlight because he simply didn't want to create conflict.

That being said, this trip would kind of be for my daughters' birthdays. At least, this is their main birthday present. So I really wanted to make it special for both of them, but I don't want to compromise my son's feelings in the process. BUT, like other people said, I think my daughters would feel "cheated" if they didn't get to truly celebrate their birthdays at WDW.

 

[bellelinus]

I have a similar situation, in that two of my daughters have birthdays 4 days apart and the other one's is 5 months later. That time of year has traditionally been a difficult one for the one not having the birthday, even though we have never celebrated the two birthdays at WDW. Often we have had a small "birthday sister" gift she is given around that time, and I could see that working at WDW too. I think the ones celebrating their birthdays should each get their own special day, and you can find a way to talk to the other kid about what can be done specially when their birthday rolls around. Everything can't always be "fair" or the same with three kids, but you can try to make it all work out to "equivalent."

 

[starwatcher]

could you do an unbirthday party day for your son during the trip and give him like presents and an unbirthday cake and let him have at least 1 day just for him??? cause everyday is special and magical at wdw give him one day so he doesn't feel left out

 

[mmeb144]

Why not do a trip for your DS closer to his birthday? We did a B-day trip for my DS when he turned 11, my DD (8) was a little jealous. But, it helped that we talked about it. When we said that we would do a b-day trip for her, she was cool with the celebration. On her b-day trip, 2 years later, (I need more money for the mouse!) her brother was cool with it, and she had a wonderful time.

Just explain to your DS that he will get a special trip later just for his b-day. He's 14, you have time.

Marie

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

could you do an unbirthday party day for your son during the trip and give him like presents and an unbirthday cake and let him have at least 1 day just for him??? cause everyday is special and magical at wdw give him one day so he doesn't feel left out

And to make an "unbirthday" even more fun- you could do the 1900 Park Fare breakfast w/ Alice and Crew (unless they change it to fairies) and have one of the truly talented people over on the Creative DISigns board come up with a "Today is my unbirthday" t-shirt for your son. He might get a kick out of it!

 

[TMJR]

My thought is, how jealous or sad could the 14 year old be? Everyone is in Disney enjoying a family vacation!! There are much worse places to celebrate your sibling's birthday!

 

[TAKitty]

I love the idea of an unbirthday. My brother is 16 and these years are hard on boys. They are starting to become men, but still at times feel like boys. This is according to my Dh. I

would let each kid have a "celebration" day since only the 9 year old has her birthday during the actual trip.

My sister and I are going to WDW in July and I am throwing her a "Unbirthday" party for one of the days. Her birthday is in November (always Thanksgiving weekend or day). She has never had a big party because most families are celebrating Thanksgiving. She is not going to wear the button, but I told one of the resturants that it was her birthday and I am getting her a cake. WDW is a magical place to celebrate so many different things.

 

[Alice Sr.]

We went in Nov. 2 weeks after my 15 yr olds b-day and 2 weeks before my 18 year olds b-day and my 15 yr old brought a good friend. When I ordered the B-Day cake I put all their names on it; including the friends and said we were celebrating her 1/2 birthday. I would put all of their names on the cake but only give the b-day girl gifts. That way the others get to join in the celebration but still have gifts to look forward to on their actual b-days. The actual b-day girl will get gifts on her b-day and that noone could find fault with.

 

[LVSWL]

Why not let your son have a day when he can choose the park and the main meal (restaurant ) for the day and kind of be in charge of what rides you do when so he feels like he has a say. Let him know ahead , like before you go that you want him to do this so you can make an ADR and he can plan a fun day for all of you that he will really enjoy.He may even want to rent the mice boats or something cool like that. I don't see why a November birthday is all that different that a September birthday. Neither one are during the actual trip. Make both of the other children, your son and daughter that aren't having birthdays during the trip feel special. Whether it is 2 weeks ,or 2 months if you are celebrating one, that isn't during that time, go ahead and make him feel special too. We always went to WDW on my son's bday, totally because it was a good time of year, but we tried to give my other child plenty of opportunities to plan and have plenty of say in what we did so that he would feel special also. While life certainly isn't fair, and I don't want to try to make it so for my kids, it's not much fun always watching someone else being the center of attention. It just has never worked out that we could go for my other child's birthday. Good luck, the most important thing is that you have a wonderful time. It's Disney, everyone should feel included and a part of the trip.