"Tween" Daughters.

[FayeW]

Originally posted by goofy4tink
I was also going thru 'the change' so now I'm waaaaay done wit
h that. It's kind of nice to have just the one hormonal person in the house, instead of two.

You know, goofy4tink, I think you hit the nail on the head. I wonder how much of my lack of patience with her new attitude can be attributed to a little attitude of my own! At my age, I suspect I may be pre-menopausal and at this point it may be a battle of the female hormones!

 

[swanmom]

Apparently, these girls have a secret communication network to share information about how to behave.........because my DD is exactly the same. I have found that what helps me cope is the idea of "logical consequences" - that the way you behave has a direct impact on the people and things around you. For example,
if you are rude to your mom, then she isn't going to feel like driving you to your next event or helping you with a project. If you don't put your clothes in the hamper, you will not have that shirt when wanted to wear when you need it. If you don't put your lunch money in your bag when you're asked to, then you won't have it at school. That doesn't mean it isn't hard......I can't tell you how difficult it is to have your DD miss her soccer practice because she doesn't 'deserve' to be driven by the person she was just mouthing off to! Or allowing her to be late for school because she can't find the shoes you warned her to put away the night before. It's really hard to let her suffer the consequences but it is beginning to work for us. Now, I often just have to remind her of what's upcoming if her poor behavior continues and that's enough to get her back on track.......she knows that she'll pay in the long run.

 

[jennyanydots]

mine are 12 and almost 14. I feel your pain.

 

[Desiree]

Oh yes, can I join this club too? My dd is 10 and is currently punished for lying to the teacher and getting detention for it. I sure hope this phase goes by fast!

 

[FayeW]

Just yesterday I discovered that my daughter now needs to use deodorant. (Quite an unpleasant discovery, I might add
)

And so it begins...

 

[shelbyjosh]

Mine has been using it for about 6 months...upon me reminding her to use it!

 

[shatzjsl]

Ahhh...my sisters in arms! I totally know what you are going through! My once always cheeful baby is now 11. I know I wasn't like that when I was a tween no matter what my mother says. One thing we can remember is that someday, they too may be mothers of tween girls and we can set back and laugh our butts off!

 

[Rock'n Robin]

My oldest is 12 1/2 and just "started" last week. She's a pretty easygoing girl, although I have caught some attitude. She is very careful about it, because DH senses "attitude" way before I do (He'll say "Watch how you talk to your mother" and I'll say "What did she do?" When I see it, it must be really bad!)
I made her start deodorant in grade 5 just to get in the habit. I also bought her oxyclean and noxema in grade 6 to get in the face washing habit to keep any zits down. So far it's working pretty well.
I think I'll have a tougher time with DD#2 (now 9 1/2). She sometimes has a raging case of "middle child syndrome" and get's the "why do I" blues (why do I have to clean my room if Kelly doesn't? Why do I have to help if Ryan is out playing?).
Robin M.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Rock'n Robin, I'm with you on the "get 'em in the habit early" thing. DD9 got the idea that she might smell (I didn't notice, and vbelieve me, I'm the one sitting in the car with her after 90 minutes of dance class...), so I offered to get her some deodorant. I figure, even if she doesn't "need" it today, she will eventually, and by then it'll be second nature to put it on in the morning. Good idea with the face stuff, especially something mild like Neutrogena that wouldn't hurt young skin--you can always switch to something more heavy duty should the need arise.

 

[grinningghost]

Oh Faye - I have SO been there!!!!

Between about age 11-14, my DD was absolutely miserable. I often wanted to kill her. (I wouldn't seriously kill her in case anyone is worried).

And then, right about the time she turned 15, I started seeing glimpses of my sweet, fun loving girl again. And now, at almost 15 !/2, she is almost completely human again. The aliens have brought back my child!

Hang in there. I swear it gets better - but it's hard to believe when you're knee deep in those raging hormones.

 

[MNSusan]

Having raised boys, I never experienced this. However, my ten year old granddaughter called me before school the other day, sobbing.

Her: I, sob, have a zit, sob, sob, on my FOREHEAD, wail wail wail
Me: How bout a band-aid?
Her: That would just, sob, call attention, sob, to it
Me: Gee, honey, what are you going to do?
Her: Guess I'll, sob, just have to, sob, deal with it. sniff sniff

She calmed down and opted for chin-up, what-are-you-looking-at bravery.

Heart felt condolences and much pixie dust to those of you living with this!!