trying to reconnect with my dh any suggestions?

[charlotte]

Hi, as most of you know from the other weekend my husband and I are going to counseling for our marriage. I am trying really hard to reconnect with him and I would like suggestions of things we can do together for dates or on the weekend with the kids. We have already been out to dinner (which is sometimes awkward) and to the movies. On the weekend during the day all he wants to do is play his game on the computer. Thanks for your help

 

[becka]

We like bowling, mini golf, playing pool, etc.. It reminds us of our dates when we were poor college students. Anything that makes us feel 10-15 years younger is a plus.

 

[tiggerlover]

What about taking a bike ride somewhere? Are there any nature trails or parks nearby that you could do this. Or could you bike and share an ice cream together? How about taking a walk....walking hand and hand? Pack a picnic and a ball and frisbee, spread out with DH and let the kids play.

 

[tiggerlover]

We like mini golf too, forgot about that one! We live in a beach town so we also like to go walk on the beach or boardwalk or rent surry's.

 

[FreshTressa]

Do something active.

Men don't usually bond by "talking" the way women do. They bond by doing something together.

For example DH feels close to me after we spend the day building a shelf from IKEA or after a bike ride or after overcoming some obstacle together.

Mini-golf is good, board games, fixing up the yard together, heck, even playing a video game together. Are there any games at all that you are interested in?

 

[FreshTressa]

Oh...and you REALLY need some time without the kids. Your DH is probably escaping into the video games to avoid stress/responsibility that come with being a husband/father.

Don't bring up problems when you are having your 'couple time"

And spring for a sitter at least one evening a week.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If you want to reconnect, movies and dinner are OUT. Do not do those right now, they are awkward. Try and do things that involve activity.

Here is what we do....
1) We drive around and look at dream houses
2) Bike riding
3) Boating
4) Mall Shopping for romance, new outfits, candles, etc....
5) Grab drinks & appetizers at a bar
6) Swimming
7) Call up friends and meet them for drinks

Sometimes we just get in the car and go....

 

[charlotte]

thanks for the suggestions. I think mini golf sounds good He wont play board games and he doesn't like yard work although he will do it if I ask. He never talks to me anymore and I am trying to draw him out.

 

[Tiggeroo]

dh and I have taken up tennis recently. Not usually our sort of thing but it's fun and bonding. Movies can be a waste because there's not alot of real time together but if he likes it do it. Try doing things he likes. You can enjoy most anything. How bout a baseball game, even minor league which is cheap. If he likes video games and pc maybe a pc game show, surprise him with tix.

 

[Tiggeroo]

also sometimes doing something with another couple can be a difuser. It also lets your dh see you in another light away from the family responsibilities. He will talk to you while he talks to the other couple. Don't shoot for anything big in the beginning. DH and I went through this and it took a bit but everything came back.

 

[FreshTressa]

Also, is he depressed?

DH shuts me out when things get rough at work. He never tells me this, of course, but I think it is all about me and get my feelings all hurt and it is just cuz he is having trouble at work!

 

[Micca]

Couples massage?

 

[goofy's friends]

Just subscribing. Could use the ideas too.

 

[charlotte]

he went through a depression in Jan thats when all the trouble started. I just asked him to play a game with me and the kids he said no he would rather play his game online.