Keli
<font color=darkcoral>We're smarter than the avera
- Joined
- Oct 27, 1999
- Messages
- 7,280
Two dear friends and I took a short trip together last week. We are old friends. You know the kind, the talk-laugh-talk non-stop sort. The kind of friends that have talked so much over the years that by all rights they should have long ago run out of things to say but somehow instead they have so much more to tell each other and laugh about every time they meet. Well thats us. Mary, Karen and Keli. Out to have fun and create new memories. We succeeded fabulously.
Since you dont know Mary or Karen as well as I do Ill give you a brief synopsis of both their personalities. Mary: friendly, very out-going, has 1,000,000 friends and sees everyday as an opportunity to meet more. She is confident, has a great sense of direction, and a problem-solver type of personality. Karen: friendly, kind, soft hearted, loves to laugh, is always telling funny stories, not overly confident but not shy either. Goodness kind of oozes out of Karen. She is kind when others would not be, she is friendly when a cold shoulder is all that is merited, she forgives even the most heinous of offenses and holds out her hand in friendship once again. She is also scared beyond reason by bugs, snakes, heights, dark places, and approximately a 1,000,000 other things. Startled easily. Oh and she has a very weak bladder.
Mary invited Karen and I along on this trip. She needed to attend a conference and sign books. Im sure she included us because she wanted friends along for the fun but Karen and I joked the whole week about being Marys groupies. Mary is an author. She has written exactly one book so far (but will soon be starting another) that she self-published. That alone causes me to hold her in awe so maybe the jokes about being a groupie were only partially in jest. Since developing a love of reading in middle school I hold authors in high regard. Marys book is about a tragedy in her life that occurred eight years ago. Her healthy, young husband fell ill and after a few months passed away leaving her with two young children to raise alone.
Karen and I belong to the same religious organization that was hosting this conference so we knew wed know a few people there and we would enjoy the church services, choirs, social experiences that would be a part of the conference. And we were correct; we did enjoy all of those things and much more. But the part of the trip I most want to share with you came on the way home.
While at the conference Mary introduced us to a couple that had been Amish until about five years ago when they became Pentecostal. This couple impressed Karen and I very much and since they were such good friends with Mary already we spent a lot of time together, talking, eating, and hanging out. I really enjoyed spending time with them, their sincerity was obvious and they freely answered any and all questions I asked. Ok, the truth is I took full advantage of the situation and virtually harassed them with questions of all sorts. Although they have eight children they had only brought their two daughters with them to this conference.
On the way home from the conference Mary told us wed be going right past their home and asked us if wed like to stop and visit with the six children theyd left at home (two of which are adults). Even though they had left the Amish order they still lived a very different lifestyle than 21st century Americans and Karen and I were dying to visit and see it all. Appropriate phone calls are made and we are all set for our visit.
This is where the story goes from informative to hilariously funny in my ever so humble opinion. Mary mentions on the drive over that we will need to park next to the road and cross a creek on a suspension bridge before reaching their home. This instantly put me on alert. Karen is scared of stuff like that. Since I really want to make this trip I just casually say Im not sure Karens going to like that. I guess Karen was all whooped up in the front seat thinking about visiting their home or something but for whatever reason she let my statement pass without comment, as did Mary. Whew! There for a minute I was afraid Karen would back out when she realized that part but she obviously isnt as afraid of suspension brides as Id figured.
We get to their home and its serenely quiet. Nightfall has just come so we get out a powerful flashlight and walk towards the bridge. Turns out it's a loooonnngggg bridge over what could be termed a 'rageing river' as accurately as 'creek' in my opinion. Karen starts eyeing the bridge with just a bit of distrust and gives a nervous laugh. Ok, my alert has just moved up to level two. I know that laugh, Ive had many experiences with it and its never a good sign. When Karen gets scared she gets loud. And she laughs. A lot. In a sort-of hysterical way. I look at Mary who still appears to be oblivious. Humm, is it just me? Maybe I was mistaken when I thought I noted a slightly out of control sound to Karens laugh. Wouldnt be the first time Ive been wrong.
With Mary in the lead and Karen behind her we start across the bridge. Karen takes her first step on the bridge and yells Yall this thing is movin!!!! I immediately start laughing because Ive just realized that Karen had no idea what a suspension bridge was! She is desperately clutching the cable on either side and starting to laugh herself. Kinda loudly and there is a definite hysterical quality to the laugh now. I say Its ok Karen, these bridges are very safe, just walk forward, youll be ok. Karen starts announcing I caint swim yall! which just cracks Mary and I up. Karen wasnt really walking forward at this point, as a matter of fact I believe she was less than five steps into the bridge. I was trying to nudge her forward to no avail when Mary started walking briskly across the bridge with our flashlight. Well, there was only one thing that was scarier than having to cross the bridge to Karen at that point. And it was getting left behind. Especially since Mary had the flashlight.
Although she was making A LOT of noise and laughing Karen was moving so I though we were good to go. UNTIL she suddenly stopped and crossed her legs and bent over double, all while still clutching the cables on either side of the bridge. I went into full alert. I knew what was coming before Karen yelled, loudly, Yall Ive got to pee!!! Mary is laughing so hard at Karens antics that I think she had all she could do to stay upright and not drop the flashlight. Karen immediately followed up that statement with Yall Im peeing! Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you how hard I was laughing at this point. And when Karen wailed, What am I going to do? My panties are all wet, I wont even be able to sit down I was seriously afraid mine would be wet too before we got off that stupid bridge because I was laughing so hard. I believe Mary was having similar difficulties on the other side of Karen. Finally we get it under control a little and Mary says Just take them off (told ya she was a problem solver!). Somehow Karen does this (major miracle since she had to let go of one of cables!). Then in exactly the same voice Karen wails, But what am I going to do with my panties now? Mary tells her to just hang them on the bridge and well get them when we come back. I wish I could tell you that Karen was wearing teeny, tiny dark colored undies that no one would notice hanging on the bridge but unfortunately she had dressed for comfort and her light colored drawers resembled a small flag in my ever so humble opinion.
We finally got off of the bridge and started walking up the path to their home. Two small boys jumped out from behind a tree with big grins to welcome us. The way the younger one kept watching Karen makes me wonder how much of the bridge incident they could hear. I fear it was quite a bit and I wonder what in the world they told their parents later.
We had a nice visit and I was just so impressed with the children. They all seemed so happy, sweet, and funny. Overall they are a special family and I was honored to receive the chance to meet and spend time with them.
The journey back across the bridge when we left was more or less uneventful, especially when you consider what happened when we crossed it in the first place.
We all agreed that our excursion into Amish country was the most memorial part of our whole trip.
Since you dont know Mary or Karen as well as I do Ill give you a brief synopsis of both their personalities. Mary: friendly, very out-going, has 1,000,000 friends and sees everyday as an opportunity to meet more. She is confident, has a great sense of direction, and a problem-solver type of personality. Karen: friendly, kind, soft hearted, loves to laugh, is always telling funny stories, not overly confident but not shy either. Goodness kind of oozes out of Karen. She is kind when others would not be, she is friendly when a cold shoulder is all that is merited, she forgives even the most heinous of offenses and holds out her hand in friendship once again. She is also scared beyond reason by bugs, snakes, heights, dark places, and approximately a 1,000,000 other things. Startled easily. Oh and she has a very weak bladder.
Mary invited Karen and I along on this trip. She needed to attend a conference and sign books. Im sure she included us because she wanted friends along for the fun but Karen and I joked the whole week about being Marys groupies. Mary is an author. She has written exactly one book so far (but will soon be starting another) that she self-published. That alone causes me to hold her in awe so maybe the jokes about being a groupie were only partially in jest. Since developing a love of reading in middle school I hold authors in high regard. Marys book is about a tragedy in her life that occurred eight years ago. Her healthy, young husband fell ill and after a few months passed away leaving her with two young children to raise alone.
Karen and I belong to the same religious organization that was hosting this conference so we knew wed know a few people there and we would enjoy the church services, choirs, social experiences that would be a part of the conference. And we were correct; we did enjoy all of those things and much more. But the part of the trip I most want to share with you came on the way home.
While at the conference Mary introduced us to a couple that had been Amish until about five years ago when they became Pentecostal. This couple impressed Karen and I very much and since they were such good friends with Mary already we spent a lot of time together, talking, eating, and hanging out. I really enjoyed spending time with them, their sincerity was obvious and they freely answered any and all questions I asked. Ok, the truth is I took full advantage of the situation and virtually harassed them with questions of all sorts. Although they have eight children they had only brought their two daughters with them to this conference.
On the way home from the conference Mary told us wed be going right past their home and asked us if wed like to stop and visit with the six children theyd left at home (two of which are adults). Even though they had left the Amish order they still lived a very different lifestyle than 21st century Americans and Karen and I were dying to visit and see it all. Appropriate phone calls are made and we are all set for our visit.
This is where the story goes from informative to hilariously funny in my ever so humble opinion. Mary mentions on the drive over that we will need to park next to the road and cross a creek on a suspension bridge before reaching their home. This instantly put me on alert. Karen is scared of stuff like that. Since I really want to make this trip I just casually say Im not sure Karens going to like that. I guess Karen was all whooped up in the front seat thinking about visiting their home or something but for whatever reason she let my statement pass without comment, as did Mary. Whew! There for a minute I was afraid Karen would back out when she realized that part but she obviously isnt as afraid of suspension brides as Id figured.
We get to their home and its serenely quiet. Nightfall has just come so we get out a powerful flashlight and walk towards the bridge. Turns out it's a loooonnngggg bridge over what could be termed a 'rageing river' as accurately as 'creek' in my opinion. Karen starts eyeing the bridge with just a bit of distrust and gives a nervous laugh. Ok, my alert has just moved up to level two. I know that laugh, Ive had many experiences with it and its never a good sign. When Karen gets scared she gets loud. And she laughs. A lot. In a sort-of hysterical way. I look at Mary who still appears to be oblivious. Humm, is it just me? Maybe I was mistaken when I thought I noted a slightly out of control sound to Karens laugh. Wouldnt be the first time Ive been wrong.
With Mary in the lead and Karen behind her we start across the bridge. Karen takes her first step on the bridge and yells Yall this thing is movin!!!! I immediately start laughing because Ive just realized that Karen had no idea what a suspension bridge was! She is desperately clutching the cable on either side and starting to laugh herself. Kinda loudly and there is a definite hysterical quality to the laugh now. I say Its ok Karen, these bridges are very safe, just walk forward, youll be ok. Karen starts announcing I caint swim yall! which just cracks Mary and I up. Karen wasnt really walking forward at this point, as a matter of fact I believe she was less than five steps into the bridge. I was trying to nudge her forward to no avail when Mary started walking briskly across the bridge with our flashlight. Well, there was only one thing that was scarier than having to cross the bridge to Karen at that point. And it was getting left behind. Especially since Mary had the flashlight.
Although she was making A LOT of noise and laughing Karen was moving so I though we were good to go. UNTIL she suddenly stopped and crossed her legs and bent over double, all while still clutching the cables on either side of the bridge. I went into full alert. I knew what was coming before Karen yelled, loudly, Yall Ive got to pee!!! Mary is laughing so hard at Karens antics that I think she had all she could do to stay upright and not drop the flashlight. Karen immediately followed up that statement with Yall Im peeing! Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you how hard I was laughing at this point. And when Karen wailed, What am I going to do? My panties are all wet, I wont even be able to sit down I was seriously afraid mine would be wet too before we got off that stupid bridge because I was laughing so hard. I believe Mary was having similar difficulties on the other side of Karen. Finally we get it under control a little and Mary says Just take them off (told ya she was a problem solver!). Somehow Karen does this (major miracle since she had to let go of one of cables!). Then in exactly the same voice Karen wails, But what am I going to do with my panties now? Mary tells her to just hang them on the bridge and well get them when we come back. I wish I could tell you that Karen was wearing teeny, tiny dark colored undies that no one would notice hanging on the bridge but unfortunately she had dressed for comfort and her light colored drawers resembled a small flag in my ever so humble opinion.
We finally got off of the bridge and started walking up the path to their home. Two small boys jumped out from behind a tree with big grins to welcome us. The way the younger one kept watching Karen makes me wonder how much of the bridge incident they could hear. I fear it was quite a bit and I wonder what in the world they told their parents later.
We had a nice visit and I was just so impressed with the children. They all seemed so happy, sweet, and funny. Overall they are a special family and I was honored to receive the chance to meet and spend time with them.
The journey back across the bridge when we left was more or less uneventful, especially when you consider what happened when we crossed it in the first place.
We all agreed that our excursion into Amish country was the most memorial part of our whole trip.
The Bridge! 
Sounds like quite an adventure!
