trip planned for May, son struggling in school...

[kribit]

One more thing. Tell him you love him and whatever he needs for you both he will get. Let him know you support him in his efforts to turn things around, and that as long as he works hard you will be happy even if the grades aren't what you are hoping for.

Good luck. I hope you are able to make your trip

.

What a nice post. That's what this thread needed.

 

[toesmom]

For a child struggling to understand the work, I don't think a disney family vacation should take priority.

We just got back and for 7 days my dd (8 yrs) did not even think about her homework or math or reading etc. She only was worried about which characters at which park etc etc.

Your ds would probably be the same only to return to be even more lagging in his work and/or understanding of the work as he would have missed teacher's explanation.

I hate large crowds as much as the next person, but school is the basis for your child's future and if he truly is struggling, then I'm not sure pulling him out for a holiday makes too much sense.

As for his struggling in school, that's another issue entirely. He may have some sort of learning disability (has he been tested?), outside tutoring may be a start to bring him to full understanding of the concepts being studied.

If he struggles now at 11 years, without proper help, he may continue into high school with those problems and in high school, you either pass an exam or fail. You've been given some good advice in this thread, but at the end of the day, this is your family, and at least you have another few months to decide. good luck

 

[lucincia]

Kid do well in school -> Kid gets good job in the future -> Kid makes lot's of money -> Kid takes parents to WDW every few months -> Kid buys 365/24/7 DVC for parents

Hmmm ... Stay in school!

 

[kribit]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kid do well in school -> Kid gets good job in the future -> Kid makes lot's of money -> Kid takes parents to WDW every few months -> Kid buys 365/24/7 DVC for parents

Hmmm ... Stay in school!

 

[dfarner]

People expect teachers to help the students make up the work. How about some help to the teachers here?

Out sick for couple weeks. Fine. Family emergency. Fine. Teachers are willing to work with the family to make up school work on these issues. But, taking couple weeks off to go on an optional vacation?

Please. Teachers have other kids to take care of. Don't burden them with situations in which you have control over.

Don't go. And if you change date, DO tell your son that you changed it for him so that he can do better in school. I don't know why anyone would keep that reasoning from a 6th grader. We shelter our kids too much these days.

WELL SAID LUCINCIA.

 

[Tina G]

I agree with those who said to shorten the trip if possible. Personally, I don't think it's appropriate to take a child out of school for more than 5 days for a trip. Our local school districts even have policies that limit absences for trips to 5 days. That seems to be a reasonable amount of time. With 8 days, you are talking about almost 2 weeks of missed work and if your child is already struggling, it could be a big mistake.

 

[leighe]

Eight days is a lot to miss, even for a kid who is not struggling. In my class (sophomore world civ) eight days could include an entire unit - depending on what time period we were learning about. Maybe you could make a deal with him that if he continues to work hard to improve you can still go but shorten the trip a little?

 

[lastminutemom]

First, in my state-- 10 unexcused abscents triggers a referral to the social worker... thanks to No Child Left Behind. Second, many schools around here will actually withdraw a child after a week of unexcused abscences so the child's attendance isn't reflected in the NCLB accountabilty stuff....

We are missing lots of information here -- including if it is 5 school days or 8, Is he in danger of being asked to repeat a grade?

You know, hopefully, your child only gets one shot at sixth grade and the material there -- and WDW will always be there. Since you are in NY, why not reschedule in late August/early Sept, before you all go back to school, but when crowds are lower cause a whole bunch of the school kids nationally have returned to school.

 

[mrsg00fy]

I have no problem with taking my sons out of school for a day or two for a trip. ie, They always have off from school for the week of the NJEA teacher's convention in November. I usually take them out a day before. However, they are good students. That being said, I would not even consider missing a full week or 8 days. It just sends the wrong message...and adds too much stress all the way around.

If my children were struggling in school.....I would absolutely cancel the trip. It can always be rescheduled.

 

[jnordan]

I've read through all the posts, and I think you've got a lot to think about!

I wouldn't pull him out. Honestly, if my children were struggling, I don't think I would pull them out at all because of the obvious reasons, as well as the message that it sends the child about the value you're placing on his doing well.

I can totally understand not wanting to go during school vacations and what-not. I feel the same way. But it's a situation of not wanting to go during vacations. You could, and I think it's the fair thing to do for your child.

 

[barkley]

First, in my state-- 10 unexcused abscents triggers a referral to the social worker... thanks to No Child Left Behind. Second, many schools around here will actually withdraw a child after a week of unexcused abscences so the child's attendance isn't reflected in the NCLB accountabilty stuff....

We are missing lots of information here -- including if it is 5 school days or 8, Is he in danger of being asked to repeat a grade?

You know, hopefully, your child only gets one shot at sixth grade and the material there -- and WDW will always be there. Since you are in NY, why not reschedule in late August/early Sept, before you all go back to school, but when crowds are lower cause a whole bunch of the school kids nationally have returned to school.

yes, and i can tell you that those of us that handled those referrals were less than enthusiastic when it was determined that a stuggling student referred to us had excessive absences due to a family's preference not to travel during the more crowed school vacation periods (and the d.a. over the county i worked for who had the final say on the disposition of these cases was even less so).

 

[badblackpug]

I would not, under any circumstances take a struggling child out of school. I've had one in this situation, and we just toughed it out in the summer. We have cancelled a trip, too because of the need for summer school.

Here are my thoughts: If by "struggling" you mean the child is trying, but is having difficulty understanding or retaining concepts, then I would postpone the trip to a time where school absences are kept to a bare minimum. I would explain to him the truth of why you are postponing, but in a non-judgemental way. I would want him to understand that school is a priority, that the postponement is not a punishment, but that you are just rescheduling the trip to a more convenient time.

If by "struggling" you mean goofing off and not doing work or doing sub standard work,( been there, done that) then I would either arrange for him to stay with a family member while you took the other kids (if there are other kids) or cancel the trip outright and tell him you will reschedule if and when he gets his act together.

As far as the truancy thing goes, I have to agree with the school systems. If you have a child who is doing well and does not have excessive absences, the school does not generally have an issue with time out for vacations. If your child has excessive abcences and/or is doing poorly, maybe it does warrant an investigation. Many parents do not make their childrens education a priority, and a chronically absent child may signal something amiss at home. Although this may not apply to most, you cannot make rules that apply to only certain children.

 

[loralie]

Hi Everyone,

I am the OP. I was shocked to see so many responses to my problem and I want to thank everyone who took the time answer me, even if it was not the answer I wanted to hear. LOL.

I know people were confused about the actual days my son would miss from school. It would have been 8 days missed, not 8 days total. I am sure most of you will be happy to hear that after reading every single post and having many discussions with my DH, we have decided to cancel the trip and maybe go next year during the end of August. DH could not get the time off this year but if he puts in for it early enough he may be able to get it in 2008.

I guess I got too excited about the planning the trip. I really feel like I planned the "perfect" trip but I realize now that I did not factor in exactly how much school my boys (I have 2, ages 11 and 9) would miss and how that would afffect them. It was easier when they were younger.

I know there was a little bit of a debate on if I should tell my son that he is the reason for canceling the trip. I don't have to worry about that because we did not tell him about the trip. We wanted to surprise the kids so at least that part is easy.

Thanks again for helping,

Loralie

 

[MSSANDRA]

How wonderful to have an OP to consider all the advice she asked for with out being defensive in any way. So sorry that your trip will not work out for this year but I think you made the decission that was best for your family. Prayers that school gets better for your son.


MsSandra