Trip in 39 days, Dont even feel like going!

[tncplace]

I am so sorry and sad to say I know what you are going through. On Dec 2009 I found out that my husband had an affair and what was worst was it was a relationship not just you know. Like you I had my reasons for not kicking him to the curb, we have been together forever and I wanted my daughter to have both her parents in her life everyday. I am glad to say that a year and almost a half later we are doing so much better than even before his affair. I wanted to recommend a book that helped us both that was recommended by our marriage counsler called "After the Affair" by Janis Abrams Spring. This book helped me put into words the jumble of emotions I was feeling and also helped my husband with his guilt. Something like this can make or break you and we were lucky enough that we arrived on the other side as a complete family. It takes a ton of work on both parts - rebuilding the trust is a biggie and life as you know it will never be the same as before but maybe it shouldn't be - it should be better. Hugs.

 

[kimgg]

I'm glad you are getting so much support!! is what you need!

I just want to let you know time does heal. My husband's issue involved an inappropriate relationship w/ a co-worker - I found out he was calling her "babe" in an email to her. He claimed nothing had happened and at the time I didn't believe him. He refused counseling. I weighed my options and had to choose - try to move on or go through a hateful (because at the time I did hate him) divorce. I chose to stay with him and with time (and lots of spying b/c I did not trust him for so long) my fears and anxieties did slowly fade. At this point, I still don't know 100% if anything happened, but as far as I have been able to tell he no longer has contact with her.

I am a very suspicious person so if I can eventually, without counseling (and it took a few years) "get over it" you definitely can WITH counseling. The fact your husband is willing to go to counseling speaks volumes that he DOES love you.

Just want to let you know it does get better. If you pray, that definitely helps too. Pray to let it go for your vacation at least, and I feel sure you will be able to enjoy your time. Best of luck to you!

 

[MomtoEmIs&Ow]

Good Luck, and enjoy your trip! I am sorry that you are having to deal with all of this!

 

[sydneysmom]

This is EXACTLY my story last year. I found out in January, and we had a trip planned for mid May. It was a birthday trip for my dd and my ds, it wasn’t an option of not going.

Unlike you, we had decided that we were going to separate after the kids finished the school year. Don’t underestimate the power of pixie dust. The first few days were ok. We got along, but we were definitely there “for the kids”. The day that we went to DHS, we were having our family pic taken in front of Mickey’s hat. The Photographer said,

“let’s have some fun. Kids, kneel down next to the stroller and cover your eyes. Mom and Dad, put your hands behind your back and lean into each other. Ok, hold it, hold it, ok now KISS”. (of course I was thinking, you have got to be kidding me!)

But we kissed, and the photographer made us hold that for what seemed like an eternity. But at some point during that eternity, I remembered why I had fallen in love with him. From that moment on, we were holding hands, and laughing with each other. That was the beginning of “working things out”.

Good luck. I hope that you and your dh are able to find the pixie dust. (or at least that photographer!)

OMG !! Isn't that just such a wonderful story. ( I'm sitting here at my desk crying right now!!!) What a wonderful memory to have. Congratulations to both of you...... kleenex please.....