Trip after child loss

[2b1gMom]

We lost our 5 year old in April. He was on our sidewalk when a drunk driver drove through the grass and killed him. We are going to Disney on 10/31. He had only been with us once (and once while I was pregnant with him)....he was so excited about going. I know I need to carry on with the trip for the other two kids but just the planning stages are hard. I got a travel agent yesterday because I just couldn't do it myself. Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?

 

[DisneyLvr55]

We lost our 5 year old in April. He was on our sidewalk when a drunk driver drove through the grass and killed him. We are going to Disney on 10/31. He had only been with us once (and once while I was pregnant with him)....he was so excited about going. I know I need to carry on with the trip for the other two kids but just the planning stages are hard. I got a travel agent yesterday because I just couldn't do it myself. Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?

No advice. I am so sorry for your loss


I just wanted to add - We went this past Oct/Nov on a trip that my Mother was supposed to come on with us. She died of breast cancer exactly one year to the day we left for the vacation. It was hard, I'm not going to lie.
Sitting there watching Fantasmic I was sobbing uncontrollably because we had talked about seeing that together. Same with IASW.... But I know she would have wanted me to go. I know thats nothing compaired to losing a child. Having said all that, I think you should take your family, and make memories with them. Do something special for your son that you lost - Maybe let a balloon go, or have his favorite snack, and tell stories about him to each other.... Whatever decision you make, make it together with your family - What you decide will be best for you.

 

[waffles77]

I am so sorry for your loss. I haven''t been in this situation, but I just wanted to wish you the strength that you need.

I also want to give you lots of

I wish you and your family well.

 

[2b1gMom]

We are headed to the beach next week.....I guess it will be a good trial run. While he liked having fun when we were gone...the child really hated to be away from home....he liked his own bed!

 

[pkelly6]

I've not been in your situation and any loss I've had pales by comparison.

What if you did things differently this time? For example: if the last time you ate at Chef Mickey's, this time eat at Crystal Palace; instead of starting at Magic Kingdom, start at Hollywood Studios; instead of staying at the same place, stay someplace else.

 

[DisneyDiana!]

I'm so sorry. I think it was a good idea to get a TA if you're not feeling like you want to plan it all. I just hope you have a wonderful time with your family

 

[mckelvey72]

I am so sorry for your loss...can't even imagine. I won't even comment on what I hope that drunk driver gets handed to him.

I would talk to the family....it might be that your older ones don't want to go anymore either. See what they say. Maybe go someplace else this year and move the Disney trip to next year. The kids may be ok cause kids are pretty resilient but you and your hubby may be a mess the entire time and that won't make for a good vacation. So I would talk about how you feel about the trip and see how everyone is feeling about it.

I pray for peace and healing for your family.

 

[2b1gMom]

My 9 year old wants to go and I want to take him again before he is a grumpy pre teen boy. My parents will be with us as well.

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

I don't have anything to add, but I wanted to say this makes me tear up. I know it is no consolation for how you feel but the other "Disney-Moms" are here for you!

Sending love and pixiedust to your family.

 

[Shea&Van]

Oh my...I just wanted to extend my heartfelt condolences to you and your entire family.

What a senseless tragedy...my heart breaks for you.

I have no advice to share, but wanted you to know that i will keep you in my prayers.

 

[lost*in*cyberspace]

We lost our 5 year old in April. He was on our sidewalk when a drunk driver drove through the grass and killed him. We are going to Disney on 10/31. He had only been with us once (and once while I was pregnant with him)....he was so excited about going. I know I need to carry on with the trip for the other two kids but just the planning stages are hard. I got a travel agent yesterday because I just couldn't do it myself. Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?

This first year will be the hardest. Although you will never, ever get over this, things will eventually get better. I hope that you and your family are getting grief counseling. Even if you only go for a short while, it really helps. Keep on with your normal life, taking one day at a time. Anything you can do to make things easier, such as having friends and family help, or using a TA for your trip, is a good thing. I'm terribly sorry that this has happened to your family.

 

[smitch425]

I read about your son's death in the news (I live in OH, but am from the Louisville area). I am so sorry for your loss. The only trip advice I can give is that even though he will not physically be with you, he will still be there with you and would want you to not be sad. Most young children get very upset to see Mom crying, so keep that in mind and make the most of every second you have on this Earth. He will be waiting for you on the other side. Hugs, prayers and pixie dust to you and your family.

 

[Octoberbeauty]

First of all, I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Yes, I have done this. We lost my daughter at the end of May (eight years ago. She had just turned 7) and went in December. She had been a big part of the planning and dreaming of the trip. It was bittersweet. There were a lot of tears, but it was also a wonderful trip. Of course I would have given anything to have her there, but that is EVERY day of my life. We took a lock of her hair, and a stuffed animal of hers on the trip.

It's so hard... so, so hard, but you will learn to live through the pain. It just takes time.

So, go, have a wonderful time. Do some things that will honor your son (get pictures with his favorite characters, eat his favorite foods, etc) and enjoy your time. Take tissues!

Pm me anytime you need to talk to someone who understands where you are.

 

[puffkin]

I am sorry for your loss

As the sibling of someone who died tragically in a car accident, I would ask how your other kids feel? If they were excited about the trip, then it is almost like a double loss....losing their sibling and losing a trip. I agree doing things differently may make sense, but I definitely would still go if they still want to.

 

[dbramer]

I am soo sorry for your loss. My words are hollow and empty as nothing can fill the emptiness. I have a four year old daughter...just the thought of her not in my life tears me up.

I think that in his memory, you should still take the trip as planned. Take a special memento and carry that with you through the park so that he may be with you in spirit as you revisit his favorites.

I know it is not easy right now, but your other children still need the escape that a trip to Disney will provide. It is the "safe and warm" place in which you can all start to heal and move forward with your lives.

You are in my prayers and my thoughts. Whatever you decide, I am sure that it will be the right decision for you and your family.

 

[dbramer]

I don't have anything to add, but I wanted to say this makes me tear up. I know it is no consolation for how you feel but the other "Disney-Moms" are here for you!

Sending love and pixiedust to your family.

There are many "Disney-Dads" here for you, also.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I am sorry for your loss.

There was a thread here about a family who had suddenly lost their teen son had a cruise planned and were not sure if they should still go. BUT as I remember they went and they were glad they went it helped them.

I say go and maybe your 9 year old and 3 year old can do something special in memory of their brother.

 

[baseballnut]

I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss. Words cannot convey my heartfelt sympathies to you.

Who was your son's favorite character? Maybe think of it as every time you see that character, in a picture or anywhere, that that's your son smiling at you all. I also like the idea of bringing something of his.

Use the trip as a celebration of his life.

Hugs and best wishes to you.

 

[luvmy2babies]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you, your husband and other children. I haven’t done this specifically. We were booked on a cruise when my husband died a few days before the final payment was due. I ended up cancelling but it was because I had to use the money to help me get through the time I was out of work. The week we were to be on the cruise, the children and I did end up going on vacation, and actually to one of my husband’s favorite places. They had no memories of him there, but I did. There were some tough moments for sure, but it was good for us to be together away from home where we could just focus on each other.

I agree if you go it would be good to do something to honor your son’s life. I’ve seen things at Disney like buttons with someone’s picture, t-shirts, etc.

Peace and Healing to you all.

 

[Altoqueenkelly]

There are many "Disney-Dads" here for you, also.

Good point